Life As We Know It
by Lunaschild2016
Summary: Their lives seemed to be steeped in tragedy. Through it all they had each other until wrong choice brought it all crashing down. Eric had never been able to make up for the mistake he made, but he never stopped trying. Once again tragedy strikes turning everything upside down. Now, for little Ava they will have to come together once more. AU Eric/OC T No War No Divergent Hunts
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is a story that was inspired by a forced night of watching chick flicks. The joys of having family in for the holiday's. Since my sister thinks chick flicks are the cure for all that ails a girl this beautiful gem came about. Had to turn my frown upside down somehow and what better way than to funnel it into an Eric laden fanfic. Ya'll enjoy now. :P**

 **Chapter 1**

The party was in full swing and Eric was already feeling no pain. He wouldn't say he was drunk but he wasn't far off. That was fine with him because it's what he needed. To get drunk and get all the shit in his life off his mind. At least for the night anyways.

Her ass filled his hands as he pulled her to him on the dance floor. Eric feels her moan and trails her hand down his chest to his pants to cup him through his jeans. Finding him already hard she starts to massage and stroke him.

He doesn't need another invitation and before they know it he has her on her hands and knees on his living room floor. He is close, so close to releasing. He closes his eyes as he grips her hips and pulls her back onto him again and again forcefully. Her cries and moans only spur him on until finally he lets go.

"Kira" He moans her name on release, panting with exertion. His mind is fuzzy from the two glasses of whiskey that he added to what he had already drunk after they had gotten back to his apartment.

She pulls away and he groans his way over to plop onto his couch. He vaguely hears her huffing angrily. "What the fuck did you just call me?"

Swallowing and squinting his eyes travel up to the woman in front of him and he tries to focus on her face. It's not her. They never are. He can fucking imagine it's her for a moment but then that moment passes quickly. Usually that is right about now when he has shouted her name and not theirs. As if he even knows their name.

His face darkens and goes into the hard glare and demeanor that he is a legend for. "Apparently not your name." He shrugs casually as if it isn't a big deal to him. Which it really isn't. "My bad. Not like I really cared to pay attention to when you told me it. Was I close?" He says in the most asshole way he can. Between a sneer and not really being concerned with the answer.

"You're an asshole Eric." She snarls and starts to get dressed.

He reaches forward and grabs the whiskey bottle from the ground and takes a swig before he answers. She isn't wrong but he doesn't really care at this point. "Yeah and you just willingly went to all fours and let me fuck you on my living room floor an hour after meeting me. So what does that make you?" He sneers coldly at her, having already dismissed her with a cold look from his eyes.

She snarls out something out before she flips him off and slams out of his door. Once she is gone his head drops to the back of the couch and he lets out a tired sigh.

Asshole, fuck up, cruel, ruthless bastard, and tired. So very fucking tired of the same shit he does to himself every damn time he thinks about her and how he fucked up so badly with her. So very tired of being hung up on someone that he hadn't spent any real time alone with or even real time with at all in over three years. Angry with himself for being twenty two years old and having only ever been in love with one fucking girl his entire life.

So very full of self loathing for how he completely broke the heart of that same girl by professing his love for her, losing both of their virginities together then freaking out a few months later about being serious with someone at age 18 and cheating on her. And not just cheating on her but doing it in a way he had to have known she was going to catch them in the middle of it. He did it right in the same place that was their special spot. Where he took her virginity.

He can still see her her fucking eyes from that day at night when he closes his eyes. Those blue eyes that were so beautiful. Cobalt when happy and indigo when she was hurt or angry. They had been indigo when she had found the two of them together right in the middle of it. At first they were angry indigo. But when he pulled himself together and ran after her she had spun around to face him with the worst combination of all. Indigo streaked with cobalt but filled with tears of betrayal and heartbreak.

There had been no words he could say to make what he had done right and he didn't try. He watched her walk away not knowing that he was also watching her walk out of his life, effectively for good. Two days later his mother had told his sister and him that she decided to take the housing offered to dependents that had been orphaned or emancipated.

His Sister, Mother and even he, were all heartbroken and stunned. His sister more so than anyone. Since the death of her parents and brother along with their own father, she had lived with his family. His mother was her godmother and his sister saw her as a sister and best friend.

They had all grown up together. Their fathers had grown up together, transferred from Dauntless together, married within weeks of each other and even their children were all born around the same times. Eric and Chase, her brother, were born within days of each other. Kira and Shayla were born within a month of each other. They had all been so very close.

The attack by the factionless to try and overthrow the government and faction system had changed their world forever. The boys were thirteen and the girls were twelve when her parents, brother and his father died. They had been close before that but after they became even closer.

Then Kira was gone from their day to day lives. She was and is still the very best of friends with Shayla. They didn't suffer from the loss of her living in the same house, but he did. That saying you don't know what you have 'till it's gone could not have been any fucking truer for him.

If there was even a hint Eric would be anywhere in an area, she avoided it like the plague. He had been months away from his choosing. He could either choose to stay in Erudite or leave for Dauntless Academy. Honestly there had never really been a choice. All four kids had always known they would be going to Dauntless. Their father's had been before they transferred to Erudite together and they had alway accepted and encouraged their children's choices.

He has never been able to make up for what he did. They have never been able to recover what was once a very close friendship. Even now when she once again lives in basically the same place, they barely acknowledge each other outside of work. When they do they barely talk.

His sister tries to bring them together by inviting them both when her husband and her are hosting a dinner or party. His baby niece brings them together more often now that she was born. It isn't the same though and when he does try to talk to her outside of work he ends up being a complete dick to her. One of them ends up leaving in a huff to stop themselves from launching into a physical fight.

It's like a big fucking black hole in his heart and soul and it kills him.

He takes another swig of whiskey and realizes he is sitting naked on his couch with a condom still on and the smell of sex he didn't really want with someone he sure as fuck didn't want all over him. He grunts in disgust and goes to clean up. He carefully makes his way to his bathroom and walk in shower to do that. All he can do is stand there and let the water pulse onto his shoulders, back and face to try and wash all of the guilt and anger he feels away.

Tomorrow he will have to face her. She made leadership and has already been shadowing the other leaders. Tris told him last week that Kira would be ready to start shadowing Eric as of tomorrow. Max has signed off on all her progress so far and after Eric's training with her she would be a full leader.

Eric has been proud to support her. Proud to watch her grow and become the strong, beautiful and fierce dauntless woman he always knew she would be. They work well together and he always stood by her side, though not literally, to get her two major proposals put into place. Outside of work though he has started to try and avoid her like the plague like she once did him. Most of that is because she is taken and he knows there really never will be a chance for them now. Seeing her with him is like a knife in his heart so he tries not to put himself through that.

Gods he hates that fucker she calls a boyfriend. They have been together since after Academy, for over a year now, and he still doesn't see why. She deserves someone strong like her instead of that whiny weak punk.

She has always been loyal as fuck though and he just knows that one day soon it is going to be announced that they will be getting married. He dreads that day but he dreads the next few months more.

It is going to be torture for him to be so fucking close to her all the time. The desire for her hadn't lessened over time, it just got worse. She got more beautiful and amazing and it got worse. He knows that working in the physical training is going to be hell. That means he will once again have to restrain himself from touching her in ways he longs to.

Her time in academy when he had to watch over combat classes and other martial classes had been hell for him. He couldn't stop touching her but he was such a damn dick about it. Sometimes he saw her eyes flash with desire for him but then that was quickly replaced with mistrust and anger.

So that was what found him at that party tonight, getting drunk and looking for release. Because he could tell himself that he won't go there again during those training times but it's a lie. He will do all of those things and more. Because he is sadistic enough, selfish and a bastard. He knows he will do those things and anything else he can get away with over the next few months.

Finally tired of standing drunk and under the water, he finishes cleaning himself and gets ready for bed. He doesn't even bother to put on anything other than boxers before he throws himself into his bed and passes out. His last thought before he goes under is that he both dreads and looks forward to the next day.

A few floors down and several hours earlier. The same girl that Eric was musing over was musing over a few things herself. She sat wrapped in a blanket, drink in hand on the couch of her friend Tris' apartment. Her other best friend and sister, Shayla, sat beside her with an arm around her and scowling.

"Are you sure you are going to be ok?" Shayla asks with worry in her eyes.

Tris sighs a little with her own frown and Kira knows that her two friends are most likely more upset about this than she is.

Kira shakes her head and gives a small mirthless laugh. "I guess that is the problem guys. I will be fine. I should have ended it a long time ago but I just kept letting him rope me back in with his sob stories and bullshit."

Tris' lips thinned while Shayla was growling. Her grey eyes were cold and deadly, reminding Kira of Shay's older brother so much it hurt right now. "I can't believe you never told us what he was doing Kira. I mean, I knew shit wasn't right with you when you opted to stay in the dorms and barracks at first and only reluctantly moved into his apartment. Don't get me wrong I am fucking glad you never turned down the leader apartment so we know you can get that set up. But I should have known when you said you preferred to be with the patrols in the barracks and kept coming up with excuses to not move in with him."

Tris scoffed shaking her head with a scowl. "I told you something wasn't right Shay. Who do you know that wants to be in those uncomfortable as shit beds?"

Kira smirks a little at her two friends and shakes her head. "It was for research too guys. That was a part of the experience I needed and wanted to know. I needed it to look at improving living conditions here in the compound and around our sector in general. And before you two keep giving me your death glares. Yes it was to avoid being alone and intimate with him. It was also because I was truly invested in my projects and it was just easier that way."

The two women share a look but seem to accept what their friend is saying. Both are glad she is done with the ass but are still worried about her in general. They also know what starts tomorrow though they aren't going to say that out loud. He isn't a topic they bring up if they can help it.

Shay tries not to be offended that there was only ever one person that Kira was fully open and honest with, her brother. She understands it to a point because they did go through so much together so young. It still hurts that there are parts that Kira will never share with her. It hurts her that the person she could go to hurt her so deeply that it left Kira bleeding and wounded. Literally. But Kira doesn't know Shay figured that shit out.

Tris takes a sip of her rum and coke then sighs and shakes her head. "Are you sure you don't want to go to the party with us tonight?"

Kira laughs and nods. "I am positive. Besides it will be a girls night in for Ava and I. Shay needs to have a night off and I get to spend quality time with my niece. Also I am sure Ben will show up at some point at the party and I just don't want to deal with that. Besides Will doesn't need a fight starting in the middle of his birthday."

It took some convincing but Tris and Shayla finally agreed to let the subject go. Shayla was also relieved to be honest because that meant a badly needed date night for her and Emmett. After they had finished their drinks they met with their friends in the dining hall and Kira was passed her ten month old niece who was cooing at her from her arms.

Emmett put his arm around his friend and who he saw as a sister in law. "You stay with us as long as you need to Kira. Four and I went and got all of your shit from the fuckers apartment while you were with Tris. I don't want to hear any fucking arguments either. We have three bedrooms so you aren't putting us out or anything like that. If anything we will just be happy to have you there. Ava will too." He smiles at his baby girl who is reaching out to put her hand in Kira's mouth.

Kira looks to Shay and Emmett with a smile of gratitude. "Thanks guys. I appreciate it and I will love being there with you and Puddin."

Little Ava gave a giggle at the name 'puddin'. No one knew why the little girl loved that name but only Shayla knew that she only responded to that name from two people. Kira and Eric. Anyone else that tries to say it barely gets a smile.

As if conjured up, said leader strolls into the dining hall letting his eyes rake over the tables and finds the people he is looking for. Kira tries not to let herself react or look up as he moves like a predator over towards their table.

Eric himself tries not to let his pleasure at seeing his niece or that she is in Kira's arms show for damn sure. His face is an emotionless mask as he makes his way over and sits next to his sister after room is made for him.

He grunts in way of greeting. His lips twitch when Ava catches sight of him and squeals then waves her hands. He gives a brief look around and reaches across the table to catch one tiny hand in his massive one and refrains from laughing when Ava giggles even more.

Sighing after he locked eyes with Kira, they both look away and he pulls back to make a plate up. "Thrace, you need to be in my office tomorrow at 0700. We will get started on some faction paperwork and then move onto advanced combat and weapons training after lunch." He curses how cold his voice is but it isn't anything new when he talks to her.

She just nods without looking at him and laughs as Ava makes a gurgle noise after she eats a little mashed banana. Shayla is looking at her baby and biting her lip. This will be the first night she has gone out since she was born. Kira smirks over at her friend.

"Shayla. Don't worry I got this. You and Emmett go out and enjoy yourselves. Ava and I will be just fine" Then she smirks over at Emmett and winks at him. "And I moved the crib from your room to the guest room I am staying in, so…..all I ask is remember to close doors this time."

Shayla's ears turn red and the others guffaw. Emmett gets a shit eating grin on his face and shrugs. "No promises Akira. My wife is dead sexy and you are offering a baby free night."

Kira plays at being mortified and rubs noses with the little girl. "That's ok Puddin. You and I will just cuddle up in Aunt Kira's bed and she will read Harry Potter to you again. You liked that didn't you?"

Eric's eyebrow quirks at the choice of book, nickname and fact she isn't going out but before he can say anything Will and Chris come up. Chris is scowling at Kira until Kira sighs and turns to her. "Yes Christina?"

Chris huffs at her "You said I get to dress you up for the next party. My husbands party is tonight and I find out you aren't even fucking going Kira. What the fuck!"

Whatever Kira was going to say is stopped because both Shayla and Tris pop up, eyes hard and grab Chris by her arms then drag her away from the table.

Will looks around confused before he shrugs and goes to take a seat. "Do I even want to know what that was about?"

Emmett glares at Will and shakes his head. "Nope and we ain't talking about it. Kira just had a really bad and long fucking day."

Kira smiles sadly at Will. "Look Will, I am sorry I am going to miss your birthday and all. But I also am really the only option to babysit for Shayla and Emmett to be there. They need a night out and I need a night with my niece. It works for both of us. I promise to cook for you guys one night. Chris can get over the dressing me up shit. We would have just gotten into a fight when I wouldn't wear whatever dishcloth she was calling a dress anyways."

This causes laughter all over the table except for with Eric who is trying to analyze what the fuck is going on with Kira. Not that she went to many parties anyways. But the looks of everyone is making him nervous something is wrong.

When the three girls make it back, Chris reaches down and hugs Kira as she is standing. "I forgive you and we can do a girls night out soon. I will accept that in lieu of the party."

Kira groans and rolls her eyes. "As long as girls night out is actually a fucking girls night out Chris. None of that sitting around watching chick flicks, eating ice cream and trying to get me to talk about my feelings shit. Because that will just get you throat chopped again."

Eric chokes on his food at this and scowls at his plate when he recovers, trying to hold back the laugh that everyone else is already engaged in.

"I promise we will go to a bar or something. I know better than to invite you or Tris to any 'girls night in' sessions anymore. You two together and united against those is a scary fucking thing Kira." Chris says with a white face and shudders.

Kira smirks and sighs. "Ok guys. Puddin and I are going to head on up to the apartment. Enjoy your nights.

Emmett, Four and Zeke all share looks before Four gets up. "Hey Kira, I think I am going to walk you up there. I forgot something at our apartment anyways."

Kira rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Yeah right. Not going to argue though, for once. I don't want shit starting while I have my baby girl with me."

Four smirked at her and helped her gather Ava's things after he kissed Tris' head. The two walked off leaving a few very worried looking people behind.

Eric speaks before he thinks better of it. "Ok what the fuck was that about? Why does Four need to escort Kira all of the sudden?" He growls out angry and worried.

Shay quirks an eyebrow at him to let him know it isn't his fucking business. He lost the right to know shit like that. "She had a bad day. Just like Emmett said. Let it go Eric, it isn't your business."

Eric growls and pushes from the table. "What the fuck ever Shay." Not even bothering to finish his food he stomps off to the bar. Let it go, like that was going to happen. Not unless he got drunk off his ass again. Which is what he was headed to do.

Later that night while Kira was reading to Ava, Eric was still drowning his sorrows in his cups while eyeing the girl he would end up with for the night.

After Kira got Ava to sleep, she went to the attached bathroom and ran a bath in the deep soaking tub they thankfully had in this room.

She did feel a little bad about missing Will's party but she really wasn't in the mood. Also Ava was almost the best possible medicine right now. She wasn't heartbroken but she was pissed about the reasons for the breakup. Not to mention she had to mentally prepare herself for having to once again be in such close contact with Eric.

She couldn't even hate the asshole anymore. In fact, her feelings were far from hate and it made her feel just like that little girl that mooned over her best friend's older brother again. It had taken her a year before she let go of her anger at him for how he chose to handle things with the two of them. Over time though she realized that they were just so fucking young. They were each other's first everything. Of course he would be panicked that things were getting so serious between them. The hadn't even officially become adults yet.

The part she missed the most was just their friendship. She had been able to talk to him about anything and he never judged her. She could talk to him about all the messed up thoughts she had that she wouldn't tell Shay or anyone else. Kira had a self destructive side then and a little now even if it was less as she was older. Not many knew about it but Eric did. He knew because he had always had that side too. When she was in her dark place he could always help bring her back out.

They had shared that because it was caused by the same thing. Kira and Eric had been right there when Chase, her brother, was gunned down. They had watched as the bullets tore through his body, as he fell next to Eric's dad. They watched the blood pooling from her parents until it seemed like the white washed wood flooring had been painted in blood instead.

She hated herself for letting Eric drag her away. Eric hated himself for not staying to fight. They had hated each other and believed it was the other's fault until they realized it wasn't. Only the two of them could truly heal each other to live with what they had seen and the pain they felt.

Tris and Shayla didn't know about that so of course they couldn't understand that was what she had allowed to hold her to Ben for so long. She had seen in Ben that same dark both she and Eric carried. That dark that threatened to pull her under from time to time. So she started to become his caretaker, his companion and barely lover. Someone that could pull him from the brink, literally. He had threatened to toss himself into the Chasm many times. Usually when he thought or sensed she was done with him and them.

Kira let out a sigh and made sure the baby vid feed and audio was on before she sank into the deep tub, letting her whole body submerse into the water. She doesn't know how long she holds herself under the water before her lungs cry out for air. She finally allows herself to emerge and pull in air. Gasping and fighting with a burn that she loves and pushes back the tears that threaten her.

Over a year of bullshit, crying, and feeling like she was chained to that mess of a man for life. Afraid to leave because it would mean blood on her hands. All to find out it was fucking lies. It was just a way for him to control her. The fucker had been cheating on her the entire time.

'Well at least I am consistent in type of men as far as the cheating aspect goes.' She thinks and snorts at the dig at herself. With a sigh she gets out of the tub then gets ready for bed.

With a last look at the beautiful little girl sleeping in the crib next to her bed she gets ready to pass out herself.

She knew the next few months were going to be hard. Because as much as she wanted to not feel shit for Eric, she did and always would. She loved him and that had never gone away, it got worse. Every time he touched her, she fought a battle against herself. It always ended up that she felt anger in herself for her weakness.

Eric had moved on and from the girls talking, moved on often. So why was she still so hung up on him that even in a committed relationship that had been heading to marriage she had barely wanted or managed to allow herself to be intimate with him? Why was it that she could still feel her body respond whenever he was in a room and it made her bolt from it? Why was she still so in love with a man that was clearly incapable of loving anyone enough to stay with them?

A little sigh scapes Ava beside her and Kira lets herself relax to the sound of her nieces breathing and drift to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Eric watched Kira at her desk in his office, her face was scrunched up in concentration as she poured through documents on living conditions in the compound and her fingers flew across the keyboard. It had been a month since they had started training together and he had been right about all of his musings. It was fucking torture, sweet torture, but torture nonetheless.

It was made even worse because Max was pushing for her to get the biggest project she had put into action. One she had proposed during her time in the leadership program. The one that had made her a front runner from the start to be honest. That meant longer hours for the both of them. It meant early breakfast meetings, lunches, and dinners either locked in his office, at the dining hall together or even in the workshop that they had set up for her. They were practically spending every moment of the day together now.

There was improvement between them. They talked a bit more about non-work related things. Mainly about Ava. She was and had always been more of a safe subject for them. He carefully avoids asking about fuckhead but she hasn't really been around him lately either.

He would be happy about that if he thought that is was due to anything other than she has always been a bit of a workaholic when she gets focused on something. He has noticed that she doesn't shy away from his touch as much during their physical training. Sometimes she even suggests getting a session in, but that is more out of frustration from the project or stress in general and is a way to get it out.

"Eric." Kira calls from her desk. She has felt his eyes on her and has been trying to ignore it but she is at a point in her research that she needs his input for the next steps.

"Hmmm." He answers and tries to make it look like he was engrossed in something on his computer. "What's up?"

Kira hides her smirk and tilts her head. "I need to run some things by you. I have been trying to find a way to get the things we need for this project with the fucking budget we have. It just isn't going to happen but I think I might have some things we can do to either get around it or make it happen."

Intrigued, because the budget the faction council gives Dauntless for day to day operating is pitiful at fucking best, he gets up and walks over to her. "I'm listening." He drawls out with his arms crossed over his chest then leans against her desk.

She shakes her head to clear the buzzing in her head and the warmth in her core at that sound in his voice. "Pull up a chair then I would rather not get a fucking crick in my neck trying to look up at you." She grumbles.

Eric chuckles with a smirk and pulls up a chair that was against the wall, moving it way closer than he really needed to. It causes their arms to brush up against each other. Since both of them were in just short sleeved t-shirts this meant bare skin rubbing against bare skin.

They both had to lock down their muscles to stop the shivers that this contact closed. "What're you wanting to show me?" Eric almost snaps out.

Kira's nostrils flare in a flash of anger but she pushes it down. She starts to pull up the budget projections and other spreadsheets she has been compiling for the last few months. "First, I know you are more than aware of what the budget is so these projections and spreadsheets are more just to allow us to flip through so you can see the viability of what I am going to suggest."

Eric nods and moves closer, not out of trying to press buttons but because they are both in focus mode. "Ok."

She nods too and brings up her building plans for the compound remodel she had first proposed. "These were the renderings for the original remodels I was suggesting for the compound. While some of them are still feasible the bulk of the necessary ones aren't going to be with how much Erudite is wanting to charge for materials and their rejections of most of the designs that had previously been put forth over the years."

"So you are saying we shouldn't bother with your proposals?" Eric quirks an eyebrow not liking that idea.

Kira frowns and shakes her head then turns to face Eric. "Hell no. Not give up, just change things. Eric have you ever toured the other buildings in our sector? Not just from a checking the security aspect, but really looked at the buildings?"

Eric shakes his head and his forehead furrows. "No, there was no point. We don't have uses for the buildings other than making sure they are secure."

Kira scoffs and scowls. "No fucking use for them Eric? When we are overcrowded as shit in the main compound? Fuck it, I'll show you."

She turns to her computer and starts bringing up programs with blueprints and Eric scowls leaning closer. "Where the fuck did you get those?"

She waves a hand vaguely as before her fingers start to fly across the keyboard again. "It's a program available to every leader Eric. No one accesses it because no one really had reason to. Everyone was just fucking content to leave things as they were."

Neither notice that Eric has basically moved so close that she is almost in his lap so he can see the screen fully and what she is doing to bring everything up.

"Ok. What you are seeing here is that at one point we didn't just live in the main part of the compound. We have several buildings in our sector that are connected by underground tunnels, a once operational underground subway system or just corridors. This building here Eric." She points to the screen and Eric presses closer to her back as she zooms into the building in question. "This entire building is and was set up for living quarters. Not just living quarters Eric, but for families."

She starts to expand the areas to show the quarters, common rooms, even a set of what looked to be like classrooms or rooms set up for childcare.

"Son of a bitch." Eric breathes out and his forehead scrunches up. "Why the hell did we stop using them? What is the date on those blueprints Kira?"

Kira brings up the reports she dug out. "Here is all the information I was able to gather. They didn't go out of use until about eighteen years ago and the last update on the blueprints was done by Condor ten years ago. From what I can tell our population for Dauntless started to dwindle, especially after the incident with the factionless uprising. Resources and budgets were cut so badly that it wasn't feasible for us to be spread out. We only stopped using them because we were forced to Eric."

Eric growled a bit and then cursed. "Fucking of course we would be. We are only your fucking military and police. Who needs things like beds to sleep on or safe places for our fucking kids to play."

Kira nods with her own scowl. "I want to fix that Eric. I am planning on fixing that and I'll be damned if they stand in my way. There are a few stages of this though. I needed a sounding board and someone that knows Erudite as well as I do because I plan to screw them royally."

Eric turns to face her and they both realize their faces are just inches apart. His grey eyes lock onto her cobalt ones, warmth pulsing through him. "I'm all yours Kira." He says softly but his eyes and intense, full of other meaning and her breath catches. It feels like they are moving closer until a loud knock comes to the door and with a curse Kira pulls back, flushing red.

Eric moves back slower, his nostrils flared but still watching her. She won't look at him but has instead gone back to look at her computer. "What!" Eric bellows causing Kira to jump a little and lock eyes with him.

She sees the desire and hurt in his eyes and tries to mask her own but fails. Eric sees it and looks to see the anger or mistrust he got so use to seeing afterwards but doesn't. His pulse picks up slightly but the door opens. He whips his head towards it and scowls.

"Did I fucking say you could come in?" He says in his deadly calm voice.

Max enters and hides his smirk but not his chuckle. "Well considering I outrank you I didn't really think it would matter if you did."

Kira bites her lip to hide her amusement and Eric bumps her shoulder. "Shut it Thrace." He grumbles and shakes his head. His anger gone but not the desire. "What's up Max?"

Max goes to the chair in front of Kira's desk, looking at the two and wonders if he was interrupting something. Would suck if he did. Those two just needed to get it over with already and get together. Sighing he looked to Kira. "I got your acceptance for the leader apartment. I had already had the original one we offered you on hold. Call it woman's intuition but Daria refused to let me think about letting it go. She said she had a feeling you would be asking for it soon."

Kira blushed and frowned. "Well she knew better than I did then. Tell her thank you. Was that the one with the huge ass balcony?"

Max smirked at Eric's expression. His head snapping to look between the two and his eyebrow quirked. Obviously Eric wasn't aware that she and Ben had ended things. "It is. The one that has the view of the Space Needle. It's actually beside Eric."

Kira pushes down the pleasure and trepidation at that. "Sounds perfect. I will love having access to a balcony again."

Max nods and frowns. "It was Harrison's though and Tris said that his style isn't really going to be along your lines. It needs work anyways so I was thinking you could work with Shayla and Tris to get it set up the way you want. Tris says you don't need in it right away and that you are fine staying with Shay and Emmett right now."

"When did this happen Kira?" Eric can't help the outburst of question.

Kira turns to him with a frown. "You didn't know?"

Eric quirks an eyebrow and scowls at her. "Would I be asking if I had?"

She is about to have a flash of temper but Max interrupts. "Kira there was something else I came to talk about too."

Kira's sighs and turns away from Eric. "I already know Max. I've known since I broke it off. It's the reason I broke it off."

Max nods, lips thinned. "So have you talked to her then?"

Kira nods and frowns. "Yeah. I am trying to convince her that she might want to look into abandonment charges if he doesn't step up. But he is doing the same shit with her that he did with me and she doesn't want to go that route. He is playing her enough to make her believe he will be there for her and the kid."

Eric feels rage boiling and his fists clench. He fucking cheated on her? And got someone pregnant apparently. What was this about what he was doing to her? He has to calm down because he can't ask shit while this pissed and while Max is here.

"It's good of you to try and help her Kira. I think I am going to have Daria take up the reigns on this one. You shouldn't have to deal with this…."

Kira shakes her head and laughs. "No. I am exactly the one that needs to deal with this Max. I know every emotional blackmail trick he has. She is a mess. He is working her hard on that and being pregnant makes her even more susceptible to this shit. She is also a transfer so she has no one to turn to. I know it is fucked up Max. That the woman that was cheated on is helping the pregnant mistress but I don't see it that way. She needs help and I want to help her."

Max sighs but nods. "Regardless Daria will also be helping to head the investigation and process if we need to start charges on him."

Kira bites her lip and debates on if she should also suggest a psych eval. Fuck she hates to do it because of her own issues. It feels hypocritical.

Eric can't help it, he needs to find out more of what is going on. "Kira, what has he been doing?" Kira recognizes that voice he uses. His soft almost devoid of emotion voice. He is fighting himself with something. Most likely rage. "Don't think I won't keep asking or digging until I find out Kira. Even if I have to go _ask_ the fucker myself."

Max looks between the two and internally smirks. "I'll leave you two to this conversation. Daria will email you more details about her end and Shay will talk to you tonight about getting the apartment set up. Here is the current key card for you to go check it out when you can. I will see you tomorrow for our progress report meeting on the project."

With that he gets up and almost strolls smugly out of the office. It wasn't what he intended when he came to the office. But he won't act like he isn't happy about the result. It might light a damn fire under the boy's ass now.

When the door closes Kira looks to Eric, who never once looked away from her. "It doesn't matter what went on because it's over between us. I broke up with him and moved out."

"Oh it fucking matters what he did Kira. It matters a whole fucking lot. What, did he hit you or something?" He starts looking her over as if he can see or would see injuries on her.

"No Eric, he never touched me like that. Believe me I put up with a lot from the ass but I would never have allowed that." She huffed and made to turn like she was going to start working again but Eric pulled her face back to his, gently.

"Tell me Kira." Eric half demanded and half pleaded.

Kira bit her bottom lip and frowned. At one time she would have told him with no hesitation. She could tell him anything. She missed that and she knew that Eric out of everyone would understand this. She hadn't been able to tell anyone everything Ben had done and said. She needed to tell someone if she was going to recommend him for an eval though.

Kira looks at the clock and sees it is almost time for dinner and the end of the day anyways. With a decision made she locks eyes with Eric again. "We finish what we were working on. Then if you want we can grab some dinner and I can tell you then. I may need a damn drink to have that conversation but we can talk about it then."

His hand had moved from her chin to the side of her face and he began to lightly run a thumb over her cheek. "As long as you keep your word we talk about this after, then fine. But we don't have the talk in the dining hall. We can grab something and take it to my apartment or even Shay's if you don't want to go to my place."

She for sure didn't know if she could go to his apartment but she did have a key to her new place. She could check it out and they could eat there if it wasn't too bad. "We can grab something and I can check out my new apartment."

Eric sighs and nods as he lets his hand drop. "Fine." He takes a calming breath and nods. "Let's get back to this then."

Kira nods and they both turn back to her computer. Eric moving closer to her again, his arm draped around the back of her chair and brushing against her shoulders. For the first time in forever though he feels a bit of hope for them. He might not be able to get her back but maybe they can build their friendship again. He would take that if only just to have her back in his life.

"So as I was saying it is different stages. First we make our own revenue and get things we need badly. We do this by a little bit of trickery but it really isn't even that." She moves over to the equipment and requisitions lists, budget comparisons and then pulls up the screens for lists of known surpluses that Erudite has.

"Dauntless has no budget to buy new equipment and hasn't for quite a while. All of our equipment, weapons and major items are all five years or older. Would you say that is accurate?" Kira asks Eric but already knows it is. She just needs to make sure he is following along in her thought process.

"Yeah that's accurate." Eric nods as his eyes move over the screens trying to make the connection for where she is going with this.

Kira nods and highlights a few known surplus items. "Erudite hoards shit like nobody's business. They hurt themselves by doing this because it just sits there and they make no profit from it at all. I think we should work out a deal with them and see about getting our own 3D printers and machining stations. We could start out by just looking into one. Even one of each of those could help us out tremendously. The goal though would to be ten at minimum. With ten Eric we could do all the repairs we need, create our own weapons, make our own computers. The list goes on and would take all day to even come up with everything we could create."

Eric licks his lips in thought and nods. "But would they go for that Kira? Those are big ticket items and we know how Erudite is."

Kira smirks and nods. "Oh I know how they are for sure and that is where you and I can make this work for us. But also if you look at the amount we really spend on ANY of the items we would make ourselves you find we don't buy those items and haven't in a very long time. Even our weapons are refurbished or slightly upgraded with what we have already. We use that and what we have more than documented here to make our point. We still buy our serums, key cards, tablets, vid screens; we still buy all of that from Erudite. Currently we buy serums and key cards. That's it Eric. We aren't able to buy shit from them. So we dangle a few carrots with them. By negotiating the 3D printers and machining stations we can let them know that we will then have the budget to get the bigger ticket items or just buy things in general. That is where we start but I am far from done."

Eric had felt a wicked smirk start to cross his face as she continued and he ran the numbers and scenarios in his mind. "That would work Kira." He mumbled then gestured for her to go on. She matched his smile and nodded.

"Erudite has been losing money recently and badly. They haven't recovered from that scandal a year ago. But added to the rumors that what happened with the factionless also involved them in some way and they are floundering. Their leadership is also in turmoil and I am sure that if we approached the right people we could get them to see this as a way to help them. We arrange to buy some of their useless to them surplus but at cheap to us prices. We get the things we need but we can also see about making ourselves a profit of some kind. Amity is as bad if not worse in budget than us. They can barely afford to pay Erudite for the things that are vital for their agricultural needs." Kira stops and reaches for her water to take a drink.

Eric moved closer, nodding and had to reach over her to start keying through some of the listed surplus items she had highlighted. "You want to see about working out some kind of trade with Amity for parts we can machine for them or the surplus items?"

Kira swallows and smirks over at Eric, without thinking she holds out the water bottle to him. It was something she did as regular as breathing before they had their falling out. Eric tries not to show his pleasure or bring attention to this as he takes the bottle and drinks from it. He also tries not to let the thought of his lips touching something hers has send pleasure through him but that fails.

About the time that Eric was tilting the bottle back and was drinking, she realized just what she had done. She felt warmth in her belly and broke eye contact from him to look back at the computer.

"They say great minds think alike for a reason." She clears her throat. "Yes that is exactly what I was going to say. Amity has no tech to be able to help them as far as leadership goes. I have visited often with Johana and in her office she has a very, very old computer that is more of a paper weight than anything. They can't afford computers or tablets for the other leaders because their entire budget goes to the equipment and assistant Erudite 'provides' for them in their agricultural needs and also the livestock factor. When they are done paying Erudite for that it leaves them with nothing for the tech that would probably make Amity so much easier to deal with. If we can get some of the surplus tablets that will be outmoded in the next few months when a newer version is produced, then we can use that to trade with. That is just an example of options but I had been thinking about that for a while after touring Amity and talking with Johana about my project for refurbishing housing. They are in such similar situations as us Eric that we should be uniting together to make the other factions take us seriously."

Eric sits there with an amused smirk on his face and shakes his head. "I knew of the surplus, 3D printers and machining stations but I never put things together on this level. This is a great plan Kira. A damn good plan and it could work for fucking certain." He sighs and rubs his chin in thought.

"Fuck Kira! Now we need to bring Max in on this before the meeting tomorrow. If we go into it with his go ahead to change directions then we can prepare the proposals for tomorrow morning." He scowls thinking that this is going to be a long fucking night.

Kira sighs and nods. "Yeah I was thinking that too." They hold eyes with each other for a while and Eric shakes his head after a moment. An idea strikes him and he smirks internally.

"Well how about this? I call Max and have him come by my apartment. We can all talk then and have dinner. It will get us out of this fucking office for once. It is going to be a long and late night Kira." He tries to keep his tone as even as possible as he suggests this.

Kira bites her bottom lip in thought for a moment and then nods. "Ok. I can also pop over to my apartment and check things out too."

Eric looks at his watch and frowns. "Sounds good. I will message Max and set that up. I have don't shit to eat at the apartment but I can pick up something. You should gather everything you are going to need but you might want to grab some stuff from Shay's in case things go too late. Which they probably will. We can meet back at my apartment in thirty minutes or so?"

Does she really want to do this? Put herself in an apartment with Eric all night? It isn't that much different from the almost all nighters they have pulled here in his office lately. So why is her stomach doing fucking flips?

He is watching her face closely, seeing all the emotions play across her face that she normally hides from him. He is silently begging her to not fight it and to just go along with it. He is also giving himself a dressing down telling himself he better not fuck this up and try and press for something other than just being with her like that for fucking once in years.

"Ok Eric." She says so softly that he almost missed it. She watches as relief and pleasure comes across his normally shuttered off face. He smiles at her and her stomach does more flips but she smiles back at him.

He breathes in a calming breath at her smile and nods. "Then you better get started. I am going to gather things and call Max right now. He might want to bring Daria along."

Kira laughs and nods. "Oh if I know Daria he won't get the chance to ask her. She will just insist on being there."

Max smirked and nodded. "Yeah true."

When he moved to get up he lets his hand brush along her shoulders. He moved quickly away before he did something stupid to ruin this. Kira closed her eyes when his back was turned to her and let out a shaky breath before she opened them again. Then she started making sure her files, programs and links were all accessible by her laptop.

She printed out some of the projections, notes, lists and other items to show Max and Daria then packed up her bag. She also messaged Shay and Tris to let them know tonight was going to be another long night and that she was having to make changes for the meeting tomorrow.

Tris replied first that she had figured that would happen since Kira had been grumbling and moody about the project in general for a week or two now. They both made her promise that they would have a girls night with the three of them soon.

After Kira let them know she was stopping by to grab a bag but also she got the key card and wanted to take a look at the apartment she got up to leave. Eric smiled at her and nodded as he was still on the phone with Max.

He watched her wave and smile at him then turned his attention back to his conversation. "Yes we are going to most likely have to work through the night, but her suggestions Max, could change more than just our living conditions here."

-"Well then Daria and I will of course be there. Do you have food in your place Eric?" Max asked in a tone that suggested he already knew the young leader didn't.

Eric chuckled and shook his head though he knew Max couldn't see him. He didn't mind letting Max see him for who he was besides the hard leader he could be. Max had quickly become like a father to him and in fact had known both his father and Kira's well before they transferred to Erudite.

"You already know the answer to that Max. Unless you count beer, whiskey and other alcohols or coffee as food; then know I don't."

-Max sighs and shakes his head. Daria is already eyeing him over his desk with a pointed look that she is going to handle this portion. "Well at least I know you eat something when you go to the dining hall everyday. Daria and I will pick up all the food and bring it with us so you don't have to worry about that. We should be there in no later than an hour."

Daria smiles a bit triumphantly and nods with a wink. She plans to bring enough food for dinner but then some to make sure the stubborn ass Eric has something in his cabinets and fridge. It will also help if Kira and he do end up doing an all night planning session. A bottle or two of wine can't hurt either.

"Sounds good. I am sure you guys know what I like to eat. I am guessing you know what Kira likes as well?" Eric asks with a frown, wanting to make sure she is taken care of before he is.

-Max laughs a little "Yeah we know what the girl likes to eat and drink. She is over often enough for dinner but she has cooked for us too. Don't worry we got it covered. You might want to get a move on Eric and make sure your apartment is in order."

Eric scoffs. "Yeah because I don't have issues with being a neat freak. But I wouldn't mind making sure just in case." He mumbles and starts to throw things in his bag. "See you guys soon."

Max gives an amused grunt and they disconnect the call. Daria smirks at her husband. "Well maybe they will make some kind of progress." Max says as he stands to join her to head out.

Daria nods but then frowns. "Maybe, they are both extremely stubborn and there is a lot of hurt there Max. I just hope it doesn't make things worse and not better."

With that thought and worry the two older Dauntless make their way to grab some food from a cafe they both love instead of the dining hall. But they also to make a trip to the small grocery shop for other supplies.

Kira smiled as she entered Shay's apartment and heard the laugh of Ava from her place on a blanket on the floor. "Puddin." She greeted the little girl.

A peal of laughter and gurgling was her reply. Kira scooped up the brown haired, blue grey eyed girl and rained kisses on her face, much to Ava's delight.

"I can't stay long baby girl. Aunt Kira has to work late tonight again." She brushes her nose against Ava's and the little girl whines, knowing somehow exactly that that meant.

Emmett watched this all with a smile. "How she knows what you are saying is beyond me. Our little girl is way too fucking smart for her own good."

Shay hits her husband arm and scoffs. "Of course she is smart, it's in her blood. She is also just as fearless. Kira our little girl walks along with the couch and tables now. Actually more like almost runs along it. I swear I almost had a heart attack when I turned and she had moved from the middle of the floor to by the window in thirty seconds flat, all while holding onto any surface she could get to."

Kira smirks at her niece. "That a girl Ava. See I told you it isn't necessary to crawl before you walk!"

Ava claps her hands excitedly as if agreeing, her eyes dancing with laughter. Kira kisses her nose and sighs before she hands Ava to Shay. "Well I better go grab a few things. If it is an all nighter I will want to have fresh clothes and all that."

Emmett tilts his head "You guys staying in the office for this? I know you said Max and Daria are joining for part of it."

Kira frowns and shakes her head "No we decided that Eric's apartment might be better and if I need to I can just go next door…." she trails off.

Shay and Emmett exchange small smiles but shutter them when Kira looks back to them. "Ok. Sounds good. You might want to get a move on before Ava decides to have the meltdown she is working towards right now."

Kira takes a good look at Ava and her heart hurts at the puppy dog eyes she is flashing her right now. "Dammit Ava." She grumbles and then stomps off to throw things in a bag. "I swear that little girl has me wrapped around her little finger." She finishes after she walks back into the living room and grabs her work bag.

Shay laughs and offers Ava some teething cookies. "You and everyone else. Especially you and Eric though."

Nodding Kira tries not to react to how it makes her feel to see Eric with Ava. Or even how he was when Shay was pregnant. "Ok guys see you tomorrow. It is the weekend so I might have some damn time to myself."

Kira made her way up to Eric's apartment almost lost in thought. She had been having issues in trying to keep her hands off of Eric lately. It seemed that with no boyfriend to prevent her from thinking about it she had no issue with coming up with excuses.

It didn't help that it felt like a part of her was healing with allowing herself to try and develop a friendship with him after so long. She wasn't sure how close she wanted to be to him again and she was for sure not ready to be with him in the other way. She may never be again. She had forgiven him mostly but she was still so hurt by him.

She still saw that night in her mind and the pain of it almost cut her in half every time. The image of him being that way with her, even if Kira couldn't remember the girl, it was burned in her brain and heart. It wasn't the only thing that haunted her though. All their nights together before that, the night they lost their innocence together. Their first real kiss...it all played like a movie in her head and heart.

She passes into the pit and stops at the Chasm to think, the memory of their first kiss dragging her under and into it.

Eric was seventeen and she had just turned sixteen. The dynamic of their friendship had long ago changed but they hadn't ever hinted at anything or done anything about it. He hadn't dated anyone and neither had she. There was a school function that was coming up and she had been asked to go by a friend of all of theirs. Eric hadn't objected or said anything but his attitude and refusal to speak to her for two days told her he wasn't happy she had agreed.

He also hadn't bothered to try and ask her himself because he said he refused to go to that kind of shit. Shay and her both had dates and were going as a group.

Eric had glared at her the whole time as they got ready and then when they left. He didn't say a word before they left but he did look at her with eyes that she had started to see more often when he looked at her lately. She thought it might be desire but she wasn't sure. She knew she felt it often enough around him. Him being in the room and nowhere near her was enough to make her feel that way even then.

She had gone to the function with Lance and while it was enjoyable she wasn't exactly loving it. She felt when he came into the room that the dance was being held immediately. She almost lost all breath from her body when she saw his eyes boring into hers as he stalked his way over to her.

He was dressed in midnight blue dress slacks, the same color button up dress shirt and the same colored tie. Even then he was already impressive in stature. It was a product of the fact that his father had been a hulk of a man and the kids had all been encouraged to eat properly and work out. The clothing clung to his developing muscles and her mouth went dry.

She could also hear the whispers from the other girls around him. She wasn't stupid and knew that Eric was highly sought after, even with his asshole demeanor. The way he was looking at her though as he made his way over said he saw no one but her and her heart stuttered at that.

She knew then that she loved Eric in a way that went beyond brother and sister or close friends. That might have been what they had at one time, but it hadn't been that way for her in a very long time. Not since they lost Chance and found comfort in each other.

Eric had a smirk on his face as he came to the table that she was at with Lance. He didn't even look to greet anyone else, he just held out a hand to her, knowing she wasn't going to decline.

Then he had pulled her out to the dance floor. It wasn't exactly a normal dance for Erudite. The dependents were allowed to dance a bit closer than would be proper and Eric took full advantage of this as he pulled her closer to him. Her arms were around his neck and his around her waist as he swayed them and moved them to the music.

He allowed them one dance and neither had spoken a word during that whole time. They just locked eyes and moved together. Almost completely in sync. When the dance was over he once again took her hand and almost dragged her from the room. He walked quickly until they reached the school courtyard and garden.

She had been dragging behind him a little and when he burst through the door he dropped her hand, his back still to her. She stood there frowning and wondering what she had done wrong.

His shoulders were moving as if his chest was heaving and she had only seen him like that when they were sparring or he was sparring in general.

Upset and a bit hurt she sighed before she spoke. "Eric I don't know…"

It was like her voice snapped him out of some kind of trance because he whipped around and his eyes locked on her again. He didn't let her finish before he was right in front of her, his hands on the side of her face and pulling her to him for a mind numbing kiss.

It wasn't some sweet and gentle first press of lips against each other. It was demanding and consuming on both of their parts. Each took turns in controlling the kiss and doing what they had sat up nights dreaming about.

The kiss did finally slow and he became gentle with the smaller kisses he pressed to her lips. When they pulled away he wouldn't let her go far as he pressed his forehead to hers. "You are not going back in there to be with him Kira. I can't let you. You have no clue how long I have waited and wanted to do that." His words and voice were both in his commanding and demanding way but also almost a plea to her. It was as close to begging as Eric would ever allow himself to get.

Kira was left almost gasping still in the aftermath of the kiss and she smiled a little. "I have wanted to so much too, Eric. I didn't want to go with Lance. You have to know that right."

Eric growled at first but then sighed with a nod. "I'm a dumbass Kira. I didn't want to do something that would…."

Kira nodded and frowned. "Change things for us or come between us. I know. I don't want to lose you Eric."

Eric makes her look at him with a scowl on his face. "Baby that will never fucking happen. I can't and won't lose you either. I don't care if we never are what I want us to be. I would rather not have that at all than lose you Kira. You mean too fucking much to me."

He didn't let her speak as he claimed her mouth in another kiss. They both let that and their touches of each other speak the emotions they were feeling that night. To Kira it had been the perfect first kiss. Full of real emotion, longing and promises.

No matter that they had both broken promises they made to each other. She had broken as many when she walked away from him and their friendship after the ending of their romance. She had left his life and had every intention of never having anything to do with him again. She had cursed him and railed against him when she was alone.

She had hurt herself, in her pain, in ways she had promised him she wouldn't ever again after he caught her the first time. They had made promises to each other that no matter what they would be there for each other when those dark moments descended. She hadn't allowed him to be ever again and she wasn't there for him either when his came.

He had hurt her but she had hurt him just as much along with herself during those years. The question was could they forgive each other for both of their faults to try and salvage the friendship she had been longing for more than she ever allowed herself to acknowledge.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

To say that Max and Daria were floored by the proposal and suggestion would be an understatement. All four ended up almost giddy with the possibilities this idea presented for Dauntless. In the end Max and Daria had spent almost all the night with Eric and Kira. Planning and hashing out details that would need to be addressed to present to the rest of leadership and the Dauntless planning committee.

When Kira had pulled up blueprint after blueprint of living quarters suggestion, pushed the lists of the surplus items they knew to be available as well as all the numbers of items Dauntless actually purchased from Erudite to what could be dangled in front of them. It left Max with a wide eyed look of disbelief and awe.

Eric nods at Max's look of disbelief. "I know believe me, I know. It sounds so logical that I am kicking myself wondering why I never thought of any of this. I knew about the surplus because I came from Erudite too. It never crossed my mind to use it to our advantage to get us better equipment much less to use for trading. The 3D printer or machining our own parts didn't cross my mind in the way she is thinking. It had crossed my mind as far as it would be good for Tate when he has to fix a Humvee and needs a part. I would think, well wouldn't that be nice if we could just machine that in house. We still can do it if we get only one but if we had several it would go beyond that. We could machine parts for repairs on a million things here in the compound. The uses would be too many to list right now."

Max looks to Eric seriously. "What would be the chances that leadership at Erudite would go for any of that?"

Eric scratched his chin in thought. "Like Kira said they are still recovering from the scandal with Jeanine and Alistair. The actual investigation started over 3 years ago but to those in our city and Erudite it is still recent because those involved didn't get sentenced and tried until about a year ago. Financially Erudite is hurting enough that if we get the proposal right, and the right leader in Erudite signs off on it and presents it to the others it could very well be accepted easily. The two top leaders right now are Jonathan and Silvia. They are pretty fair and are headed the right direction with Erudite. He would be the one to approach with the idea."

Max and Daria nod and he chews his lip in thought. "It goes without saying that this will be your baby Kira. I also want this separate from the project you are currently working on. They are both big projects and you will be overseeing both but…."

Eric nods in agreement as Max trails off. "There will need to be two whole new departments set up just to handle everything that will come about from the both of them."

Daria nods and she adds to the conversation. "You of course will be sponsoring this new one Eric, if you would like to. If not, I am sure Tris or I wouldn't mind to sign off on it."

Eric scowled at her and tensed. "Hell yeah I am going to want to sponsor this Daria so don't even think about that. Erudite is going to try and wiggle out of everything they can and Tris isn't cut throat enough to even begin to handle their shit. Not to mention I just want to."

Daria shrugs with a smirk. "I had to offer Eric." She takes a sip of her wine to hide her smile when Eric rolls his eyes at her.

"Yeah well thanks but no thanks for the offer. I'll be working with Kira on this for sure." He takes his own glass and looks over at Kira who was distracted by something on her laptop and had only been half listening with a smile on her lips.

"What are you plotting now Kira?" He asks after he puts his wine glass down. He frowns when he realizes they had gone through about three bottles so far. Then he shrugs and tilts his head waiting for her to answer.

Kira leans more to her laptop and her hands are flying across the keys again. Eric growls in impatience and without thinking gets up, moves over to her and picks her up before sitting down with her in his lap.

Kira squeaks and whips her head around to him. "What?"

Eric laughs and points to the laptop. "You were sucked into the vortex of your own thoughts and not sharing Kira. So again. What are you plotting now?"

Kira smiles a little sheepishly. The wine for sure making her more mellow about his sudden invasion into her space than she would normally be. "Ok. So I was looking over all of our sector blueprints and I found something."

She leans back into his chest without knowing and looks to Max and Daria then frowns. "This isn't going to work. We all need to see the screen. Eric we need to borrow your vid screen."

With that she pops up, grabs her laptop and bolts over to the living room. She starts to fiddle with the vid screen as the others chuckle and move over to the couch. Max and Daria move everything over to the couch area along with Eric.

Eric sets the wine and both his and Kira's glass on his table and waits for her to move over to sit. He fully intends to have her sit by him again but he doesn't need to worry about pulling her or leading her. She just does it automatically.

Part of him wishes Max and Daria weren't there at the moment because when she does sit she moves into the crook of his side, pressing up against him. He just internally sighs and enjoys this moment of openness and closeness with her.

"Ok here we go." Kira says and not even realizing that she has allowed her body to place her where it wants to be while her mind is otherwise occupied so it can't counteract that normal override she has. Her hands move over her laptop as she makes a secure connection to the vid screen network and links the files she is wanting to display.

She starts to zoom in over the different sectors and stops at the one she had in mind. Eric, Max and Daria look on with a slight frown wondering what she could want with that building.

Eric is the first to get it and he looks over to her. "Are you thinking what I think you are thinking Kira?" His tone is playful and only half references an old pre-war cartoon they had both loved.

She smirks and says cheekily. "I don't know Pinky. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

He laughs squeezing her hips with his hands before gesturing at the screen. "Fair enough Brain. Tell me your idea."

Kira sighs and points to the screen. "This looks like it used to hold lots more shops at one point and it could be a real profit maker. Free trade weekends are once a month and during bad weather they don't happen at all. So that means there are months out of the year there is no trading available. We could set this up and lease the spaces to retailers from all Factions. Make it a weekend type of deal or even every day. Amity could run food and other product stores, Erudite could sell surplus or take individual orders. Dauntless can provide space, security and other services as well. It has possibilities you have to admit."

Eric smiles at her and nodded. "Pretty much what I was thinking. We would need to get with Tate about inspections. Max and Daria we would want to tour this along with the other buildings we are looking to set up as living quarters."

Max nodded with a smile. "We will need to arrange it soon, because I am sure that with the combined votes of leadership and the committee this shit will be approved."

Kira nodded with a smile but then frowned. "I still want living quarters to be a priority. Those members without families that are being forced to share quarters or to live in what should be temporary patrol barracks shouldn't have to do so. We are getting more initiates every year and the next year of cadets graduating is projected to be pretty major. Our housing needs just won't make that stretch."

Daria sighed and nodded. "I agree that housing will need to be a priority but I can already guarantee that the committee is going to go revenue focus once you submit this. Be prepared to be put under immense pressure Kira."

Eric scowled knowing that she was right but not seeing a way out of it either. Dauntless needed the revenue too badly. His thoughts were interrupted by Kira though.

"What if I had a co-head for the project? I don't care about the credit guys, that was never my goal for these projects. What I care about is getting my Dauntless family taken care of and making us strong." Kira's voice was firm and determined. She would do whatever it took to see that this project was put into place and that it succeeded. Even if it meant working in close quarters for even longer with Eric. Because that is the only person she could see helping to make this work.

Eric didn't catch that train of thought from her. All he heard was co-head and his scowl deepened because he didn't want anyone else working with her on this much less the time it would take the two of them.

"Who would you suggest Kira?" Max asked as he went over the printed lists in his hand. He was distracted by the best way to make sure the rest of leadership could control the committee from becoming a pack of wild dogs over a bone.

"Eric of course. He helped to hash this out. He knows Erudite even better than me. And he can help me to make sure that this is done with only Dauntless in mind and not some almighty bottom line. Numbers will be important of course but only insomuch as it will provide us with the shit that we need to function and then to make us stronger. Also if we do go ahead with the trade aspect with Amity it will take either the Senior Leader or the Second in Command to make any verbal authorizations. Johana and Eric have a pretty good relationship and he doesn't treat her like Amity is an ant under his boot. That is where most of Amities issues with the other factions comes from. They hate being treated as less than just as much as we do." Kira mused as she flitted through the lists and started compiling things.

Eric tried with all of his fucking might not to get a shit eating grin at the fact that there was no other option or thought of anyone else for her for the project. He desperately tried to hide it and failed hard. Max and Daria didn't even hide their chuckles at his expression which caused Kira to look up confused.

Kira caught sight of Eric's face, rolled her eyes and laughed. "You can deflate that head now Eric."

"I have no clue what you're talking about Thrace." Eric said with a chuckle but then turned serious when he looked to her. "I would be honored to stand beside you on this project Kira. This could mean more than just homes for Dauntless."

Their eyes hold for a minute. She can see the pride there and that he truly meant what he was saying. Max looked to Daria and the two of them stood. "Well you two may still be young enough to not need sleep, but I am afraid the missus and I aren't exactly up to that challenge. Do try and get some sleep though guys." He ordered his most stubborn leader and the other that wasn't that far fucking off from her either.

Shaking his head he chuckled to himself that at one time Eric would have been under the label of his most stubborn leader. Those two were really made for each other.

Daria nodded to the two of them. "I left food and coffee in the cabinets and refrigerator for in the morning if you don't make it to the dining hall or if you are up so long you get hungry again. Do try and rest some, tomorrow will be a long day but at least it is the weekend."

Kira smiles softly and Daria and Max as they leave. Eric walks them to the door and locks it once they leave. Once they are gone he feels a bit awkward and doesn't know if he should sit somewhere else or go back to where he was like he wants to so badly.

He doesn't even make the decision as he moves forward because his body does it for him. He plops back down beside her, pulls his own laptop to him and sighs as he looks over to her.

Kira scoots back into him. Once again her mind is too occupied so her traitor body is taking full advantage of that. Eric leans into her and closes his eyes. His body relaxes from a tension that he hadn't known had built up over the years she has been gone from his life.

She had always had this effect on him. She could drive him crazy like no other person could or ever would. She could make him full of a lust and desire he had never known for anyone else. She could also ease his soul and body with a simple look or touch and they were both soaking her up like they had been starving for years. In a way they and he had been. He couldn't fuck this up. So, as much as he might want to pull her to him he knew he couldn't.

She meant more than getting some release and he just fucking wished he had realized that years ago. He couldn't change the past but he could change how he handled things in the future.

His arm was wrapped around her and he gave a light squeeze before he sighed when she looked at him with a question in her eyes. "I think we have enough to go on for the proposals. We need to get those put in and worded the way we want. We can't let them try and get a toe in on trying to run or oversee the projects at all."

Kira nodded and looked at the lists of known surplus again. "I was thinking about the remodels and I think I have something that could sweeten our offer for Erudite."

Eric nodded and motioned to go ahead. Kira went back to pull up the blueprints. "The lower quarters have no place for food preparation, no real food storage cold or otherwise to speak of and their heating for the depths that they are at is pretty horrible. They also don't have the room to be outfitted with full size accommodations."

She highlighted the areas that would make the most logical sense to put a kitchenette in the units and Eric nodded. "They wouldn't which would mean that if we wanted to put anything in we would need to take up more than necessary living space for a kitchen, do basic demolish of all the units and rebuild how we need them or just forget it all together."

Eric scowls at the thought of those options. Kira shakes her head and reaches for the free hand of his that is clenching in building anger, knowing he is feeling helpless and like they are back at square one. They both feel jolts of warmth and pleasure before they both relax even more into each other.

"Not true Eric. I thought of something. We design something that meets our needs completely and then we use this as bait for Erudite. If they accommodate us with the surplus and printers then we will have this big ticket item for them to make for us." Kira smiles a bit of a wicked smile and sees it registering with Eric as he calculates everything as she is speaking.

"Jesus, that could fucking work Kira. We would just need to make sure they don't try and bankrupt us for that purchase." Eric grumbled with a frown.

Kira nodded with her own and sat chewing on her lip for a second. "Can you pass me a pen and paper Eric?"

With a quirked eyebrow Eric reaches forward and grabs a notepad and pen then hands it to her. When Kira has it she closes her eyes and envisions what might work for their needs. Once she opens them she starts to draw out the plans, description and general dimensions. Eric watches her, not what she is doing, and is smiling at how she thinks and operates. She got more fierce and intelligent over the years.

"Ok here is a general idea of what we could do. We use Erudites need to mass produce everything to our advantage. The design I made is one whole unit that can be broken into four parts for easy installation. The idea in general is make sure it is cost effective for us to get the items but also during remodel. This serves that purpose. The measurements might not be spot on but we can check those and change them when we get to production stages. The countertops will be stainless steel, along with the sink and the small cabinets. That would be two of the main components. The other two are the small refrigerator and the small oven/stove combination. They would both be compact and slide into the spaces I have built into the unit. For upper cabinets I think we can forgo those and go for a style that I am going to be using myself in my own apartment. We can use open shelving made from pipes and steel or wood. Most likely steel but those we can fabricate all in house. Other than that this gives our members in those units that can't support full kitchens the ability to have access to something. The other buildings that I have looked at that are made for families have either full kitchens already or communal areas with kitchen areas built in." Kira finishes after bringing up the appropriate areas of the blueprints to pair with her illustration.

Eric nods but internally he is trying to fight with himself to not do what he wants to do and just start kissing her right now. How can he not want to after all that, after this whole night? He clears his throat and hopes it doesn't sound too strained. "Sounds good and the fact that they can mass produce it will also help in cost too."

She nods happily and doesn't seem to notice the desire and strain in his voice. Rather she does, she just ignores it and how she is feeling too. They both ignore it and focus on finishing out the work.

He does end up moving away from her to clean up from dinner and grab them some snacks and waters when a few hours later they are still working. She is fading as she curls up on one side of his couch. He is leaned forward, his head furrowed and furiously working on some wording of the contracts he wants to propose to Erudite.

The next time he looks over, Kira has completely passed out on his couch. With a soft smile as he looks at her he runs a hand over his face and looks at his watch. If he heads to bed now he can get about two or three hours of sleep if he has them skip the early morning run they had been doing.

Deciding that would be best considering the day they have planned and the lateness they worked he sighs and puts everything away as quietly as he can. When he has both of their things packed into their bags he moves to get ready for bed. He heads back into the living room and frowns at Kira. He hates leaving her all scrunched up on the couch but he doesn't know if he should move her not.

"Fuck it! She can kick my ass tomorrow if she doesn't like it." He grumbles and moves to lift her up. She sighs and rolls into his arms burying her nose in his chest.

His nostrils flare and he wonders if he just made a mistake but scolds himself. "You will shove that shit down Coulter."

He gets her slid into bed, her shoes off and then knowing he shouldn't but not caring, slides into the other side of bed beside her. He does restrain himself from pulling her to him though and just rolls over to look at her.

It doesn't take long for him to be pulled under for sleep and then neither notice that they moved towards the warmth each was putting off. They didn't notice until their alarms went off and they woke up to being wrapped in each other's arms.

Neither spoke but neither moved either. Both were afraid to even breathe. They laid there like that for minutes upon minutes, wrapped around each other and staring into each other's. It had to end sometime and Eric did one thing that he knew was a risk. He leaned forward slightly and pressed his lips to her forehead softly.

It wasn't her lips which he almost ached with every part of his being to press his against. It was no less electrifying in the pulses it sent through him. From her gasp and the way she clung to him he could only guess and hope she felt it too. He pulled her tighter to him and breathed her in, her arms tightening around her.

He didn't want to let go, he didn't want to speak but he didn't know what he should do next. He was saved from deciding when she spoke first.

"I missed you Eric." Kira's voice was almost small. Not weak but as if she was barely allowing herself to let that admission out.

Eric's heart was both full and hurting because he could hear her pain. "Gods I missed you too Kira."

She nodded into chest and breathed him in too. A little more was healing inside of her. She knew though that she couldn't go back to what they had been heading to. She had barely survived the loss of him then. He might not have meant to wound her as deep as he had, but he did and she could never allow someone...or him, to do that again.

"Eric...I can't…" She stops and he tenses, ready for her to push him away completely again. "I can't go back to what we were….not that way. But maybe…" she closed her eyes and hoped he wouldn't hurt her by rejecting her and this "...maybe friends?"

Eric closed his eyes and felt relief flood him. She wasn't pushing him away or rejecting him. It wasn't what he would love for it to be, what he could only dream about now. But friends was good. Friends was a start and better than the hole her absence left.

He brushed his lips against her forehead and tightened his hold on her. "Friends is good Kira." He said simply but in his mind he finished that it was a start.


	4. Chapter 4

****A/N: Just want to say, thanks for all the love for this story. It might end up being a short one but I am loving the feedback so far. Here is a new chapter for you guys!****

 **Chapter 4**

Kira plopped onto the couch, shopping bags plopped onto it around her and groans when Tris and Shayla walk in carrying more with laughs. "You guys tricked me dammit." She almost pouted causing them to laugh.

Shay shakes her head. "How did I trick you Akira? I said that we should spend the day together and that we needed to get a few things."

Kira glares at her friend. "We couldn't carry everything on our own Shayla. We had to call in reinforcements." She frowns and looks at the door. "Speaking of, where are the reinforcements?"

That is answered by huffing and puffing as the door to her apartment is thrown open and the tall and lanky figure of Four is struggling to get the item he has one end of walked backwards through the door. "Gods dammit Eric! Do you not know how to move shit? You have to angle it to get it in the door."

"Watch yourself _Four_ " Eric tries to sneer but it just comes out in a grunt. "I know how to move shit. You tell me how I am supposed to angle the fucker when there is no angle for me to reach." He growls and strains in trying to lift the monstrosity of a box that contains gods knows what. "And what the fuck is in this shit!" He yells from the hallway.

Kira frowns at Shayla. "Shayla you could have told them that breaks down into parts so it can be carried and moved a bit easier."

Tris runs to the bathroom in fits of laughter at the growl of pure frustration and anger from Eric in the hallway and the jaw dropping of Four. "Put it down Four. I have a sister to skin!" Eric yells from the hallway.

Shay looks truly a bit scared. "I'm sorry it slipped my mind. Kira did tell me, but I was just too excited to start getting everything set up for Ava's birthday party." Shay was trying not to cry but it was just so hard to believe her little girl was going to be a year old already.

"Is she fucking crying?" Eric asked his eyes wide and buckling under the weight of whatever the hell was in this. "Fuck it! I am about to drop this shit!"

"Wait! You might bend the metal and I will be pissed as hell!" Kira yells then pops up and runs over to the area where Four is lowering the box. "Lower your side now Eric."

They finally get it lowered and Kira pulls a knife out of her pocket, flicks it open and starts to cut into the tape on the box. Eric growls and climbs over the box into the door, yanks the knife from her and starts cutting into it on his own. "Think I deserve to see what the shit I just put my back out of place for Kira."

Kira huffs and throws her hands up in the air. "It's the damn fire-pit-grill table I told you about. The guy had it ready and Shayla wanted to be able to use it for the party anyways."

At that Eric lost some of his anger and looked around to her. "The one we designed? When did you get that order in?"

Kira smiled and nodded. "Yes the one we designed. And when you were at the marathon of meetings with Erudite for your side of the projects. I knew Shay would want to have the party here because the balcony is so big. And now that you decided to tear down the divider wall between our two balconies it's even bigger."

Eric smirked then got a smug grin. He had done that while work was being done on her apartment. He had taken over seeing to it since she was being a bit of a pushover. "Told you it was a good idea."

Kira rolled her eyes and shook her head and tried not to be pleased. It was a good idea. As were a bunch of the things he had seen to being done for her apartment. He made sure she got what she had mentioned wanting to the workmen but wasn't pressing for. Eric did enough of that for her. "Shayla we need to get all the shit you made me buy for my apartment and the clothes you made me buy put away. I am guessing Uri, Emmett and the others will be here shortly with the other items."

Kira's mood turned sour at the thought of all the shopping she had been forced to do as she started gathering bags. Tris finally came back into the room with a smile and looked at Kira. "Are you still pissed at me Kira?"

Kira whipped her head up to lock eyes with her friend and glared. "Yes. You are supposed to my battle buddy and keep me from shit like this happening and you were the one that led me into the damn ambush Tris!"

There were snickers all around and Tris sighed. "I wouldn't have had to ambush you if you did something besides stay locked in an office, the workshop or constantly flitting between one project site or the other. You are still living out of boxes all except the room you made for Ava. Your apartment doesn't have half of the shit it needs. You have no food here." She pops a hip out and puts a hand on it. "Do I need to go on?"

Kira takes a breath and shakes her head. "No, I just don't understand why we had to get it all done in one damn day."

Eric comes up behind her and leans in to speak softly and soothingly to her. But also teasing her a bit. "Because you are a known workaholic with a severe shopping phobia. This was ripping the band aide off to get it over with. Now you can just relax and enjoy Ava's party tomorrow during the day and your own leadership party that night."

"Hmmm, where Chris is involved in parties there is no relaxation. But you are right, I guess." She takes a breath and nods then moves off to start putting things up.

Four quirks an eyebrow as he starts to pull out the pieces of the fire-pit-grill table and gets to an entire instruction manual. "She made an instruction manual for it?"

Eric snorted and nodded as he started helping again. "It's Akira. Micromanager extraordinaire. Of course she did, but also it was suggested so she could sell the design. This one is a beast though because we made it longer to accommodate everyone. Plus there are the benches that go along with it. So it all takes a little bit of work and the instructions help."

Four shakes his head with a knowing smirk. He looks over at Eric who is looking way too fucking smug just in general but more about this damn hunk of metal at the moment. "You made the instruction manual didn't you?"

Tris, Shayla and Kira laugh as they come in on this last part after having taken the first load of bags to her room. Kira smirks over at Eric. "Busted Coulter. Actually we both designed the table and made up the instruction manual. He took over on parts because I wasn't being detail oriented enough, so he says."

Eric scowls and shakes his head. "You had to look at it like someone might not know what a damn flat head screwdriver was Kira. Not everyone is gearhead like you and me. So yeah I put in the damn description of what tool went where. It should be relatively idiot proof now." He mumbled the last bit thinking that there were bound to be some idiots that still wouldn't get it.

Talk is stopped as the rest of the gang starts coming with boxes, bags and furniture that Kira had been putting off getting for the apartment. Shay and Eric take stock of everything and then start delegating where to put stuff while Tris and Kira end up going to the grocery store with Lynn to get the food she has been putting off stocking up on.

They have two carts since some of it is for tomorrow and the birthday party as well as for pre-leadership party bash snacks. The rest is for her to stock up on because she does love to cook. As they are going through the aisle for the things to make the cakes, cookies and other little goodies for Ava's birthday; Kira decides to broach a topic with Lynn and Tris.

"Hey Lynn I have a question for you." Kira starts out after having taking a breath to gather courage.

Lynn grins at her and gets a smart ass look. "I may have an answer for you. What's up?"

Tris and Kira had laughed at her cheek but then Kira nodded to her. "I know you and Candice are all committed and everything, but did you ever have a fuck buddy?"

Tris fumbles with the bag of flour she was picking up and luckily doesn't break it open. "Kira!" She exclaims looking at her friend and her forehead furrowed.

Lynn breaks out into laughter while Kira turns red but she frowns. "What?"

Lynn bites her lip and stops laughing. "Yeah I had a few in my time. Why Kira? Thinking about setting one of those up?"

Kira turns even more red and busily starts to arrange the cart. Tris gasps "You haven't already have you?"

Kira pops up and glares at her. "Like when do I have the damn time Tris? No I haven't yet. But I think….I think I want to." Kira doesn't know who it would be but something has to happen. Her and Eric are almost always in physical contact now and it is driving her crazy.

She doesn't want to ruin the friendship they have again. It feels too good to have him back in her life. At the same time it is like once that wall of keeping apart like that came down, all these boundaries started to be crossed. She wanted him so badly it was almost all consuming.

Lynn frowns and shrugs. "Ok. Was there someone in mind?" Kira doesn't see it but Tris and Lynn share a look. No one in their group could miss the change in Kira and Eric over the last month. They had grown impossibly close and probably aren't even aware how often they touch almost as lovers would.

Kira shakes her head with a frown. "No I just heard some guys talking about that Sam needed to just get a fuck buddy to get things worked out or something like that. I don't know how one goes about getting one though. I mean do you advertise it or something?"

Tris turns red and gulps at the conversation but can admit she is curious how that would work. Not that she wants it but the concept of it is new to her. Lynn laughs and shakes her head. "No. You usually have a friend or someone you trust but are attracted to that you make the deal with.

Kira deflates slightly at that. There aren't exactly any in her inner circle she would want to go there with. And she didn't know anyone other than Eric she would either. She felt like she couldn't win for losing and the sexual frustration was maddening.

With a growl she shakes her head. "Well I guess there goes that idea."

Tris bites her lip and bites the bullet. "What about you and Eric?"

Kira turns bright red and scowls. "What about him?" She snaps and pushes her cart to the next aisle to keep shopping.

"Oh come on Kira. We aren't blind. We know you guys made up and are friends. We are all happy for you. But you have to admit that you guys are hell of attracted to each other too." Lynn shrugs as she puts in items on her list Kira gave her to take care of.

Tris nods her agreement and Kira sighs. "I won't pretend that I am not attracted to him. But it is also more complicated and I don't want to risk losing what we just got back. Eric isn't exactly a safe choice for me, not with how I….."

She trails off and scowls causing the two girls to give quiet snickers before Tris finishes for her. "Feel?" The way Tris says it is like Kira thinks that is a dirty word. She doesn't think that, she just doesn't like talking about them. "Yes." She growls.

Lynn sighs and nods. "That is a risk anytime you get sexualy involved Kira, even with fuck buddies. Candice and I started out that way you know. I didn't want to be committed and neither did she. So we made that deal. But I realized sometime along the way I felt way more than just attraction for her. We had real feelings for each other. We had become a couple and didn't even realize it honestly. Then we just didn't fight it and acknowledged that and each other."

Kira sighed and nodded. "I still don't think it would be a good idea. But I need to do something. He is driving me insane."

Tris got a small shit eating grin and turned away from Kira to not show it. Her and Shay were rooting for them to get together again. She had never seen Kira as happy as she had been the last almost three months. Almost literally from the day she started her training with Eric there had been a change.

It was the same for Eric too. He was still reserved in public, but that was just a leader thing in general. She even did it to some extent. But Eric was more open and easy going when around the group now. He was less irritable and overall, even though Kira and Eric were extremely busy, they always made time to spend with their friends and Ava. They took care of each other to a level that Tris didn't think Eric was really capable of caring for someone.

He could still be a huge dick and heaven forbid he thought that Kira was upset, hurt, hungry, not sleeping. It didn't matter, he became militant about taking care of her. Just like with getting her apartment set up.

She got so involved in work she had just stopped trying to make sure things were being done how she wanted. Eric couldn't stand that so he took over. Within a week the work was finished and he had made sure that what Shay said Kira would like, it was done exactly that way.

He also had been the one to get with Chris about planning Kira's leadership party. No one but Daria, Chris and herself know that he is overseeing that too and nothing gets approved without him saying so to begin with. He knew Chris had to be in charge because that is her job. But he also knew he couldn't let her turn it into something that Kira would hate.

So Tris evened her tone out and couldn't believe she was about to suggest this. "Maybe you should talk to him about it Kira. Or better yet, don't talk to him about it. Maybe get a few drinks in you and see where it takes you."

Kira's jaw dropped and she had to stop walking she was in such disbelief at Tris right now.. "Are you suggesting I just have a drunken hook up with him?"

Tris shrugs, biting her lip. "It doesn't have to be completely drunken but yes maybe it would help get things out of your system."

Kira is biting her lip while she pushes her cart on. She moves ahead of Lynn and Tris, lost in thought. Lynn looks over to Tris and quirks her eyebrow. "When did my little Abnegation sister get so bold?"

Tris laughs and shakes her head. "I have always been bold just not about certain things. Also, I wouldn't have suggested that normally but…."

Lynn smiles softly and looks at Kira's back. "It's Eric and Kira. I get it. Tris if I tell you something, promise you will not tell anyone. Maybe Shay but no one else."

Tris frowns and nods worried about what it could be. Lynn sighs and nods. "We all know Eric only ever had hookups. Those stopped when he started training Kira, to be honest."

Tris nodded with a small smile. "Yeah."

Lynn looks to make sure no one is listening but especially Kira. "Well people say there were a lot more girls than there really were but the girls he was with….well they talked a bit. They are usually fence girls or patrol so they are hardly ever here but I would hear about it when I make my inspections of the units."

Lynn is in charge of a few Patrol units and often has to go do inspections, lead major sweeps or see to maintenance training at the Patrol HQ.

"What do they say?" Tris almost hisses, not liking that something bad might get back to Kira and hurt her again.

Lynn gets a smug smile and shrugs. "Nothing bad. At least not really for Kira. Because it seems that from every account I have heard they call him an asshole but it is the reason why they are calling him that. Not because he wasn't good or anything, but because he called them a name. Another woman's name. The name is always the same too."

"Kira" They said at the same time.

Tris let out a slow breath and nodded. "Wow, well sucks for those girls but it just proves that he never stopped wanting or loving her."

Lynn nods but they close the subject because Kira starts to make her way to them. Kira still wasn't sure that it would be a good idea but she would think on it. If things got too bad she might just give in. They could be adults enough to separate it, right?


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Oh look a Christmas eve chapter drop. This chapter is brought to you by a mainline of coffee and insomnia fueled writing session. Hope you enjoy, I should have another chapter out soon most likely too.**

 **Chapter 5**

Eric let himself into Kira's apartment with his key card the morning of Ava's and Kira's parties. He was nervous as shit about Kira liking her party but they had hours to go before that was an issue. Right now he was making sure the final things that needed to be done in her apartment were done and knew she would be waking up soon to get breakfast started anyways.

He planned to surprise her and do that, or rather he brought her breakfast. He couldn't describe how happy the last almost two months had been for him, having her back in his life. He knew he showed it way too much but he didn't fucking care either. He had needed her as if she was air and he was able to breathe for the first time.

It was still a struggle to not want more than just friendship and it always would be. Especially when they did more than just what friends would do. There were cuddle sessions on couches and not quite kissing but almost. Then there were the times when the did nothing but press their foreheads together and barely control themselves.

Even though her training was over they had continued their sparring and other physical training and that morphed into these maddening encounters. It was like they used the mat to get a release their bodies wanted or just used it as an excuse to go shirtless and slide against each other.

It was frustrating enough that it left him burning for some kind of release but he wasn't about to try and go find it elsewhere. It wouldn't be the same or work and he wasn't going to fuck things up with Kira by doing it. They might not be together but he knew it would kill him if he heard she had been with someone else. He could only imagine what it would do to her and he wasn't about to test that.

Eric started checking things out on the balcony. Making sure that everything was in place there so that Kira didn't come out and start panicking to try and get things together. He already had put the coffee on for her first thing so if she did wake up it would be to that. It would also be to the breakfast he had picked up for them from a cafe' from the new shopping center annex that Kira and he had busted their asses to get operational. There were a few places in the big space that were cafe's, deli's and restaurants now. And all from different factions so that there was this variety of foods on offer that would normally not be available unless visiting that faction.

Kira and Eric had both fallen in love with a couple that opened a place in the annex a few weeks ago. The wife had transferred from Amity into Erudite and the husband was a Dauntless born transfer into Erudite as well. Together they had melded their own faction of origins styles and come up with an eclectic mix. Horace and Hestia, who almost seemed destined for each other with those mythological names, were excellent cooks and bakers.

There were also doing some of the foods for Ava's party and would be attending. Kira was already taking it upon herself to cook so Hestia and Horace had decided she wouldn't be doing it alone. He had stopped there first to make sure they had everything they needed.

So for today, and while he was there, he had gotten the breakfast Kira seemed to love of a veggie quiche, brioche french toast, fresh fruit and this light and tangy dipping sauce for the fruit. After he had set that out on the counter on plates he got to work, knowing the coffee was a better alarm than her own.

The balcony didn't take long to sort out. He had spent almost two weeks making sure the damn workmen got the shit done right. Kira's one main request had been for a safety barrier to be put up on her balcony. She had made sure to order a tempered glass that was attached and run along the chest height stone wall. He had made sure it ran along his too since he had just combined the two and it was just a good idea. He had been tempted to just combine the damn apartments but he didn't dare think about that. Or at least he did think about it, he just knew that right now might now be a good time to put those thoughts out there.

Kira had wanted that safety for Ava because the little stinker was climbing anything she could. The glass put up a nice size barrier but they didn't lose the view and it even helped with the wind. At his end of the balcony they had created an outdoor fireplace/kitchen area. They also had built a solid awning so that from the far end of his balcony section up until his foldable french door, there was coverage. In that area there was outdoor seating so that between the outdoor kitchens fireplace and covering, it almost became usable year round.

Kira's end had the foldable french doors as well so that when opened the apartment and balcony flowed into each other. One part of the wall Eric had ordered a small wall hanging plant bed be made. It was made from old pallets and screwed into the wall. Each section would be used for the herbs and plants Kira planted that she liked.

There were several other smaller planters, and even a raised garden bed table, around the balcony too for her to do her different veggies.

The biggest pain in the ass, but also showstopper, was the fire-pit-grill table they made. It is a long rectangular thing that is made to be a fire pit and grill in the center. With grates that open to allow easy access to the coals or wood they will use. It also has a second tier of grill racks for food that doesn't need to be right over the fire. The table part is made out of a synthetic type wood that makes it safe and possible for everyone to sit right there while enjoying either the fire or tending their own dinner on the grill section and it is all heat resistant. When not being used as either of those there is a section that lays over it all so that it becomes just a long table that can sit at least fifteen people on the metal and wood benches they made to match the design. They were really comfortable with the backs they had made sure to add on them.

Shay had added her own touches by having thick comfy cushions made up that matches the entire color scheme of Kira's apartment. She had gone with her favorite colors of teal, chocolate brown, and silver/grey. Any patterns that are on fabric are geometric in design though there are a few flowers and polka dots thrown in for Ava.

Overall the entire apartment was redone to look industrial in design but with those soft colors. Where Kira would have been happy to just make due with the counters, bathroom and cabinets that were already in the apartment, he and Shayla had not been.

He made sure that the backsplash, counters, cabinets and wall paints were all in the style and colors she would like. The cabinets were done in a grey while the subway tile was done in the teal. The countertops were in a white smooth and durable reproduction quartz stone. He made sure that all her appliances were new, courtesy of Erudite, and the most professional chef quality. The same was done in all her bathrooms but mainly her master bathroom. Kira loved baths and Shay had begged him to work something out with Erudite to get her the best walk in shower but also soaking tub they had. She didn't have to beg him because he had already been working on it. He knew what she liked from when they were still together.

Kira had changed over the years but then again hadn't. He was glad to see that she was still a lover of the simple things and was almost too easy to please when it came to her own comfort or luxuries. It was like it was a counter to how demanding she was when it came to her work ethic, demands for quality at work from herself and others, and expectations from those working for her and for her faction.

She was hard, cunning, assertive and fearless in how she approached her position for her faction. She was also the most giving person he had ever met, loyal, loving and stubborn. He grew more in love with her everyday that she was back in his life and it both hurt and healed him to be with her again in any fashion. It also drove him to take care of her even more than he had before they fell out of each other's lives. She was the same way, though she tended to be a bit more sneaky about it. He loved the shit out of it and he could tell she did too.

With that in mind he moved from the balcony and into the apartment. The coffee was finally brewed and he smiled when he heard her shower running. He moved further into the apartment to make sure that Ava's bedroom was in order. After that he went to the office and smiled because she had put in two desks when she had been ordering things. She had said that they both might as well be comfortable because they usually ended up at someone's apartment to work after the end of the day anyways. The other bedroom was set up as a guest bedroom and was simple but comfortable. There was a hall bathroom and a shared bathroom between Ava's room and the guestroom. All were done in the same colors. Even Ava loved the colors in her room.

The only deviation from the color scheme is a beautiful mural that Kira painted in the corner of Ava's room that extended to the walls on the side. In that corner she painted a huge tree that looks as if it is enchanted. It is a weeping willow that has branches that hang out to the side to hide a beautiful secret garden. In the trunk of the tree there is an elegant doorway that looks almost as if it is a portal and if you look close enough you see that the portal leads to an enchanted land as if in the distance. In the mural are more flowers, hidden animals, fairy lights and so many things that he is still discovering them. Even the trees, plants, and garden paths that are all painted on the wall are painted in such a way that shapes of animals are formed but hidden so you have to look for them.

Ava instantly loved it and her room. It was one more reason to love Kira because that had been her first thought. That Ava had a room in her home and one that she would love and know she was wanted and belonged in.

"Morning." Kira mumbles as she comes out into the kitchen area where Eric has just sat a large cup of coffee next to a plate at the huge island counter.

Eric smiles and chuckles at Kira's sleepy smile. "Good morning babe."

Kira flushes at his use of the word babe. He had started to do that soon after they had woken up that morning when they had slept beside each other. Every time it sent flips to her stomach and pleasure through her. She used the same for him just as much though and she could tell he enjoyed it as well.

She takes a seat at the stool he is clearly wanting her to as he comes to sit beside her with his own with a cup of coffee. "What did you do?" Kira asks as she takes in the place setting. There is a huge plate of what looks to be her favorite things from Hestia's Cafe.

Eric shrugged with a smug smile. "I thought I would surprise you with breakfast this morning so you wouldn't have to cook and we didn't have to go out until we head to get your tattoo."

Kira once again has that flood of warmth but not just to her core like she had been having. This went all through her body, heart and soul. He was always looking out for her in some of the simplest but most meaningful ways. She smiled widely at him and leaned over to kiss his cheek. "Thank you Eric. It looks amazing. Of course the coffee was a great way to wake up as well."

Eric laughed and nodded. "Pretty much why I did it Kira. I thought it would be a better way to wake up then a damn alarm."

She picked up her fork and started in on her breakfast, her quiche first. It was amazing as always, with the fresh veggies that were still slightly crisp. "How long have you been up babe?" Kira asks after swallowing her first bite, her forehead furrowed as she looked over to Eric.

Eric smiled at her. He was enjoying being with her in the quiet and relaxing for once instead of rushing around, in meetings or talking about work. Also enjoying her calling him babe. Something so simple that makes him ridiculously happy. He shrugged before he answered. "Not that long. About an hour or so I guess. Not any earlier than I would normally get up but I just didn't do my morning run."

Kira nodded and then sighed happily after she got a few sips of coffee. "I'm surprised I haven't been bombarded with messages already this morning. Not just about work but just in general."

Eric frowned and nodded. "Well I did threaten a few people if they did so I'm glad they fucking listened. I swear, it's like they want us to hold their hands for everything in the workshop and Annex management isn't that much better. I will be glad when we get the division heads trained."

Kira laughed a little and nodded. "Yeah me too but you know it will still happen even then. They are demanding positions and because they are new…." She trails off and takes bites of her french toast, closing her eyes and sighing. Just enjoying this. Eric is pressed close to her and had entwined his hand with hers while they ate.

She didn't complain because she felt just as much need to be close to him as often as she could too. She still fought her body from doing anything more, but she didn't try and stop from being near him anymore either.

Eric nodded at her last thought and sighed. "Are you ready to get your tattoo done Kira?'

Kira smiled and nodded. "Of course. I guess it's a good thing I kept one arm free of tattoos, huh?"

Eric laughed and nodded. He hadn't seen all of the tattoo. But Kira had a tattoo that covered her left side in an amazing design of a polynesian tribal style.

From her description. and what he had seen, he knew the tattoo started in the left rib/abdomen area and went to just under the breast. Then it wrapped around the back but went no further then to the right of the spine. Because of the swirls and patterns of the tribal art there were no straight lines in the edges of the tattoo.

It flowed and moved along her natural curves and followed along the right side up the side of the breast to wrap around the shoulder and then down the arm to end at a wrist cuff tattoo of the tribal art with the symbol for strength.

The shoulder part was done in such a way as that it almost looked like the shoulder piece of an ancient piece of armor but still keeping to the tribal art theme. As it moved down the arm it keeps the curving and tribal art theme and wraps around the arm almost like vines.

The part of the tattoo that moves down into the hip breaks from the tribal art only slightly as starting right at the hip line the image of a dragon in the style of the Japanese dragons that is more serpent like is within the tribal art design. It curves slightly to extend into the right buttock area but then curves back into the upper thigh where the dragon ends and it goes back into the tribal art with different symbols worked in.

The same way the tattoo wrapped around the arm it does that same thing as it makes its way down into the right foot ending just after the ankle at the top of her foot. The final image on the top of the foot is that of a lily, lotus flower and the moon, all worked into the tribal bands. There is no color besides the rust brown, faded black and darker black. There are symbols for peace, protection, strength, family, honor, love, wisdom and justice worked throughout the tattoo.

The images other than the dragon are lotus flowers, lilies, crossed swords, semper fi, a dragonfly and the moon. It could look overly masculine but the way everything was arranged it was really very feminine and sensual in the way it highlighted her curves and the swell of her breast or the firm ass that he tried not to salivate at or move his hands to grab.

He wished he could see it all together but he knew that wouldn't be possible. Not unless she decided she wanted to go there with him because there was no way he was going to try and make a move and ruin things.

"I think we both don't know the meaning of small tattoos Kira." Eric said with a bit of a smirk. He had tribal art somewhat similar to hers but it covered his left chest, abdomen, stomach and into a hip. He had some of the same symbols but the design was more masculine and there were other hidden things in the design that no one but him and George knew about. Her name was one of them but also the lyrics to a song that they had claimed as theirs when they were together.

They both had similar designs because they had come up with them together. He had to admit he had been surprised that she had still gone with the design considering their falling out. Then again he had too and even though it was a reminder to him everyday when he looked in the mirror of her and what he lost. There just had been no way he wasn't going to get it. They were similar enough they could be matching and the first time he had glimpsed her arm during academy he had nearly come undone knowing she had still decided to get the designs they had worked on together. It was like even though he had lost her, they still carried those parts of each other with them.

Kira smiles softly, having been just thinking something similar to Eric, although unknown to her. She gently squeezes his hand and they continue to eat. They will be heading down to Max's office to sign off on the last bit of paperwork before she becomes one of the five main leaders, then the other four leaders will be joining her at the parlor while she gets her tattoos.

Tris and Daria have theirs along their spine. Eric and Max have theirs on their neck and Kira had wanted somewhere still visible but feminine looking. She had decided to go along her right upper arm so that she could still proudly display them.

Max, Daria, Tris, and Eric all gathered around the chair that Tori had set Kira up in. Eric was sitting beside Kira on a stool and even though there were several other people around, he couldn't keep the smile off of his face.

Kira had opted to get the tattoo in the old fashioned way. She had apparently gotten all of her tattoo that way. Tris had informed him of that proudly during Academy. Tori and Tris had been working on it for the entire time she was there, bits at a time anyways. She had said that Kira insisted that each month it be worked on as a mark of her becoming a warrior. He couldn't help but think that this was just another part of that ritual as well. Not only was she a warrior but she was a leader among the warrior class they had always belonged in.

Daria and Max had been proud of her choice and reasoning for the leadership tattoo being done the old fashioned way but had been surprised to learn that the massive tattoo she had was done the same way. Daria had mentioned that maybe that would be something to look into. A way to make the faction feel united and participating in a sacred rite. It was a definite possibility to offer a tattoo done in that fashion as being a mark of honor. Tris and Daria were coming up with designs or ideas to incorporate that into when a member achieved something or when the cadets graduated.

Eric couldn't help the smirk that started form on his face when Kira's breathing started to even out and she almost was falling asleep. The others that had come to watch the newest leader get her tatts started to whisper at this, most in disbelief or amusement.

Tris started snickering a bit and Max looked over to the new leaders friend and Tori. "Did she do that during the other tattoo?"

Tori nodded and snorted. "When we weren't all drinking whiskey and joking around, yeah. Especially the back portion along the spine. We thought for sure she would need the whiskey and would be in pain. Fuck if she didn't just pass out like I was giving her a massage."

Kira gives a soft laugh and sighs. "You act like it was supposed to be all that painful. Felt kinda good actually. So yeah I guess it was like a massage."

She moved a hand up to cover a yawn after she spoke in a completely relaxed voice. Tori glanced up and laughed and then looked at Eric. "Sounds like another leader I know. He swore to me that his own tattoo sessions actually were relaxing and helped him not be so stressed."

Eric shrugged and didn't lose his smirk. "Might be why tattoos are so damn addicting to me."

Kira hummed her agreement, causing a few chuckles.

It didn't take long to finish the tattoos. After Tori had spread on the healing cream the leaders had all left to go back to Max's office. Kira was given keys to her own new office before everyone went their own ways to get ready for two birthday party.

Shayla looked around the apartment but mainly at the kitchen island and smiled softly with a tinge of sadness as well. Kira had gone all out on getting the cake, cookies and cupcakes all made. She had also had help from Hestia while Horace and Eric had been manning the outdoor kitchen area and grills. Her brother and sister in all but blood made sure that her little girl's first birthday was the most wonderful experience.

The fact that the two of them were finally back together, even if they weren't admitting that was where they were headed, just seemed to make this day perfect for her.

Kira came up to Shay and pulled her into a hug, sensing that her friend was feeling that odd combination of happiness and sadness at the same time. It did just seem like yesterday that she was in the room with Emmett and Eric when Shay was giving birth. She had felt so honored that Shay had demanded she be there too. Now there little girl was a year old, and already walking, saying more words than the milestones for her age say is average and has everyone wrapped around her devious little finger.

Shay sniffles and hugs Kira. "It is perfect Kira. Thank you and Eric so much for making sure that today was perfect."

Kira smiled and kissed her sister's temple. "I should thank you Shay. Your family is mine and I would do anything for them. You know that, you guys are my heart."

The two young women sat and watched as Ava played on the floor with a few of the younger kids, almost holding court over the children that were at least a year older or two. Ava was never mean, and in fact she was the authority on sharing. The child was almost militant about being fair and sharing everything with everyone.

A soft voice brought Kira out of her reflections and had her turning to see the shy and uncertain young woman holding her one month old baby. Kira smiled at her, reassuringly. Shay had tensed for a moment, but at the smile on Kira's face, her body relaxed and she allowed herself to smile at the young girl too.

That was Kira for you. Only she would invite and befriend the woman her ex boyfriend had cheated on her with and knocked up. Not only befriend though, Kira had quickly become Allison's friend and biggest support to help the new mother try and find her own way through the mess she was left with by the piece of shit ex. Allison had even listed Kira as her one and only emergency contact and when her son was born Kira had been there for her through it all.

Internally marvelling at her friend she outwardly smiled at Allison in welcome. "Ally, we are so glad you could make it. I know how hard it can be to even want to leave the house at this point after you just had a baby. How are you holding up?"

Kira gives Shayla a relieved look and goes to help Ally put her baby bag in Ava's room and get her situated. Ally almost without a second thought hands her son over to Kira. Showing complete trust in the person and only reason she is even able to cope at the moment.

Ally sighs and smiles at Shayla. "Thank you for inviting me Shayla. I know this is…." She waves a hand and frowns but Shay shakes her head and links an arm with hers, leading her to the balcony to get a drink and relax.

Kira had already nodded and went to see putting the baby boy down in the crib set up beside the big girl bed for Ava. Eric had noticed Allison from the moment she walked in and he had to shove a growl down. He couldn't understand Kira's need to help out like she had been. They had their first real argument since reconnecting when Kira had disappeared for a day only for him to find out it was because she was fucking with the girl that got knocked up to help her deliver the baby.

It was wrong and stupid of him to be resentful of it, but he hated the sight of his baby in her arms. Even if it was by another woman. He followed Kira into Ava's room and watched her changing the diaper and then swaddling him back up before she placed him gently in the crib.

Kira turned and faced him, tensed and ready for him to say something. Eric can only shake his head and walk towards her quietly. He stops to look down on the little boy, taking him in. He has a head full of the black hair his mother has. He can't tell what color eyes the boy will have but it looks like he will take after his mother more in looks from what he can tell.

With a sigh he pulls Kira to him in a hug. "I'm sorry. I may not get how you can do it, but I am sorry I reacted how I did."

Kira's body relaxed the tension she had and was glad he wasn't starting out in an argument. Although, once she told him what Ally had asked of her, it just might.

"I get how odd it might seem Eric. I never said she didn't make a mistake and she knows it too but that is the past and she suffered more than anyone should have to for that. She needs help and she is apart of our faction Eric. More than that though, the deeds of the father should not be held against the son." Kira had put her arms around his waist to return the hug too.

Eric smiled a little and nodded. "I guess I can get that. Let's let him sleep then and get back to the party before Ava decides to come find her Kira."

Eric almost pouted that part. Ava's second word had been Kira. First was Mama, then Dada and finally Eric. He was a little miffed about being fourth on the list. Kira bit her lip to keep from laughing and let Eric pull her along before she grabbed the baby vid feed monitor and closed the door.

She decided not to ruin the day by telling him what Ally had asked her to do and she had agreed to and signed paperwork for right after her son was born. It was just a precaution anyways so it wasn't like it was a big deal.

Ava's party was a success. The little girl had loved her gifts but had loved the treats and being able to get attention and give kisses and hugs to so many people. The little ones had all gone to sleep for a time in either Ava's room or the guest room, allowing for the adults to eat and socialize.

Talk did turn to some matters about work. The family living quarters that was almost done being remodeled and set up was the topic because of the improvements to the safety of the children. In that building there was dedicated play space that was much more safe than the corridors, walkways and other spaces in the main compound that had yet to have safety measure put into place. Those were a work in progress along with several other improvements.

Eric and Kira were never really far from each other during the party, until Chris and Shay decided that it was time for her to start getting ready for her own. Those that were not in the main group of friends had already started to disperse to either get ready for the party on their own or to take their own kids home.

Kira had cast an almost pleading look to Tris and Eric only to be meet with a little laughter from Tris and Eric giving her a wink. She would get no help in that area.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Well here is a Christmas night chapter. Sorry I didn't get it earlier. Celebrations and all that took precedence. Thanks for all the response to the story so far. It for sure heats up more for Kira and Eric but sets up for some for drama too. Just want to shout out to sleepy1177 for encouraging me when I doubt my sleep deprived, NyQuil induced or even caffeine overload stories. I might never have continued with a few of them without it.**

 **Disclaimer: This is all V Roth's Tilt-a-whirl. I am just the girl hanging on and tossing rings from my seat at the ring toss hoping I get a win.**

Chapter 6

"Thank you for watching Ava for us Mama Pedrad." Shay smiled at the mother to two of her adopted brothers, Zeke and Uri Pedrad.

Maria Pedrad waved aside the thanks of the anxious mother. "You know that there is no need for thanks. Zoe and I will enjoy getting to stay with Ava and I know that our Kira has all the most important people with her tonight."

Kira smiled at the matron of the Pedrad family. "Hestia made dinner for you two and there are still some sweets left. I also made up some takeaway boxes of food for you Maria. I know since you decided to take a position in the daycare wing of the new place that you haven't been able to get time to pre-prepare the dinners you take with you for lunch. All you need to do is refrigerate them and you are set."

Maria sighs at the young womans thoughtfulness and nods. "Thank you Kira." She steps back to look at her and smiles brightly. "I must say Kira I always thought you were stunning but you are even more so now."

Kira blushes and smooths the dress a bit nervously. "Thank you. I have to admit I really love the dress. I was glad that Shay was able to reign Chris in and not make it too revealing."

Shay turns her head away as if to kiss her little girl's head but is really trying to hide her smirk. She didn't reign Chris in, Eric did, and rather well too. Shay didn't think Chris would be trying to force Kira into another barely there dress again anytime soon after her encounter with her brother. He had stormed into the shop that Chris and Shay were at after Shay had unthinkingly mentioned she was having issues with keeping Chris in line with the dress. He was there almost instantly and pulled Chris aside. He never raised his voice but his look and tone made it clear to not fuck with him about this but also not to stress Shay, or more importantly Kira, out about it either.

Kira and Shay were waiting for Tris and Four to make it up to the apartment. Then the guys would be meeting them as well soon after. Eric had recruited them to help with some set up for the party. It was being held at the new shopping center annex, the pit and the roofs of the compound.

Because Eric knew that the thing that would make Kira the happiest was something that benefited Dauntless but also worked towards making Dauntless and the relationship between factions stronger, he had done just that.

He had worked with Johana in Amity to do a combined faction party for the fall harvest. It was also to celebrate Kira making leader but he also made the focus the advancements of Dauntless, the new ability for the factions to trade and working towards better relationships.

There were vendors from all factions that decided to take part all around the setup areas. Live music in different areas provided by mainly Dauntless and Amity but even Erudite and Candor have contributed a little bit here and there either to music or other interesting entertainment.

The end of the night there would be fireworks, something normally reserved for New Years eve. Because this was a first major celebration of a step to uniting the factions though, it was approved for them to be broken out for this party too.

Kira made sure that Ava had everything she would need her in room. Maria and Zoe had objected at first to Kira putting them in her guest room but when Kira pointed out that the party would be late, she agreed. Kira made sure that there were plenty of towels, pillows and that little 9 year old Zoe had everything she would need for the night.

After she had done that though she went to put the finishing touches on her outfit and herself. Eric had messaged her that he was just getting ready himself and that he would be over soon. Since the party didn't start for another hour everyone was heading over to her apartment for drinks and snacks.

She really was happy with the outfit and her overall appearance. She hated shopping but she liked getting dressed up and looking nice. As long as she wasn't being forced to wear what she would term lingerie and being told it was a dress.

They had picked out a dress that was composed of three parts and made into one. The underlay of the dress was a black tube top that had a sweetheart neckline and ended under the bottom of her breast. The skirt portion was the same black material as the top of the dress but it started at just above the belly button and goes to her mid-thigh. Over that, and joining the two pieces so that it all formed one garment, is a lace overlay so that the exposed parts of the dress has delicate black lace with the pattern of flowers and vines. The upper portion of the lace overlay has scalloped edges and is sleeveless with a mock turtleneck. The overlay for the lower portion actually extends beyond the mid-thigh and stops at just above the knee. It is sexy without being too revealing. Kira smiles at the choice and has to admit it isn't that bad.

She slips on the the burgundy knotted slouchy ankle high boots, before taking a look in the mirror at her makeup and lipstick. Chris hadn't went too crazy on that either. She just made sure to make her eyes smoky and to highlight the unique blue color. Her lipstain was red but it was a soft one that just added color instead of making her lips looks they were bloodied.

Her chestnut colored hair was left down with only one side pulled back by a antique looking silver comb that had a few garnets set into it. Her natural curls were softened and the whole look was more sophisticated overall. She would be taking her burgundy leather jacket because it would be cooler at night and there were supposed to be several outdoor areas to visit.

When she went back out into her living area of her apartment there were already people arriving. Smiling she was given hugs and congratulations by her friends. Ava was fascinated by her Mama and her Kira being so dressed up and if either were holding her or sitting where she could toddle over to them she would stare or gently pat them.

When Eric arrived he was a little disgruntled that it had taken him and Four longer to see about the fireworks set up, it made him later than he had wanted to get ready. He had wanted to be over to Kira's before everyone started to arrive but that didn't happen. When he did get there at first she wasn't anywhere around. Shay must have seen his look so she pointed him to the balcony with a bit of a smirk.

She wasn't at her end, but at the end with the fireplace and was sitting on the couch with the fire blazing and reading to Ava beside her. His heart almost stopped from just the scene that painted but also from her. She was gorgeous and practically glowing with happiness.

Her eyes found his as he approached them. Ava gave a laugh of happiness and patted the seat beside her. Clearly telling him that she expected him to join them. With a smile for Ava, he did one better when he picked her up and sat with her in his lap.

Kira grinned at the little girls happiness at being in her uncle's lap and beside her aunt. She also hadn't been able to break away her gaze from Eric's. His smile as he looked her over had that warmth shooting through her and Tris words came to mind again.

"You look beautiful Akira. More than beautiful." Eric couldn't help but to lean closer to her and brush his nose along her cheek, jaw and ear as he breathed her in and restrained himself from kissing her like everything in him was demanding he do.

"Thank you." Kira breathed out as she closed her eyes and swallowed around the desire flooding her. "You look amazing too Eric. You look happy."

Eric gave a lopsided grin into her neck. "I was just thinking the same thing about you baby. That you look amazing but that you glow with happiness."

"I am happy Eric. More happy than I have been…." She trails off as he nods into her neck. Her forehead furrows because she can feel his lips so close to her, but they never connect and it frustrates her.

"Me too Kira." He sighs and against his better judgment places a single soft kiss to her neck. His eyes close when he hears her soft moan that he knows she is trying to clamp her mouth from letting escape.

He pulls away reluctantly. The two of them try and compose themselves. Ava helps that along as she starts to demand to be read to again. With a laugh Eric kisses Ava's cheek and the three sit close together while Kira reads.

That is the scene that Shay and Tris come out to when they go to bring them back in and to get Ava settled in her room. Shay's breath catches a little and she can't even help the tears that threaten to come out.

Tris smiles softly as the two women hang back instead of going forward. "I have never seen Eric or Kira look as happy as they do together. As happy as they do right now."

Shay nods with a smile and the two women move forward. "Hey guys. I am going to go get Ava settled in for the night. Emmett wanted to get her changed for bed and maybe read her a story."

Kira looked up and smiled at Shay and Tris. "You both look amazing. Four and Emmett might have their hands full tonight."

Tris blushes and shakes her head. "No. I don't think they have anything to worry about. All eyes are going to be on you tonight Kira. You look beautiful."

"Buful" Ava says and pats Kira's cheek. Kira almost tears up as she pulls the little girl to her and kisses her cheek.

"Thank you Puddin. You are beautiful too."

Eric wraps his arms around both of his girls as Kira looks to him again. Her breath is taken away by the clear and overwhelming love in his eyes. She allows her forehead to press to his for a moment and then sighs before pulling back.

"Well let's get Puddin off to spend time with her Dada and Mama before we all head out. I could use a drink too." Kira mumbles, causing laughs.

Ava grabbed Eric's hand and pulled him along with her. Kira, Tris and Shayla trailed along behind the massive man being tugged by the tiny toddler.

It was perfect. The music, food and people made the party for her. It amused Eric because Kira didn't want to stay still at first. She wanted to inspect and see it all. He knew that she would and it was why he had included so much into it. The group moved along through the different areas until they finally ended up at The Pit and at the bars that were set up on the main floor. There were also dance floors set up and the group didn't waste time in hitting both up and breaking off.

Kira was dragged off to the dance floor by Lynn, Shay and Mar; leaving their dates and men behind at the bar to look on and make sure they weren't fucked with.

Eric watched Kira dancing and though his face showed nothing, inside he was dying to get out there with her. The whole night they had stayed close. His arm was almost always around her and they were pressed close as they enjoyed drinking, eating, talking and even just holding each other.

He ached for going out there with her but he didn't know if he could handle it either.

"Kira looks like she's having fun." Emmett said as he leaned against the bar near Eric.

Eric nodded and gave a slight smile. "She deserves to. None of this would be possible without her anyways. It's only because of her and her ideas that we might actually be in the fucking black budget wise for once in years."

Emmett smirks into his drink. "You guys look like you are doing good."

Eric side eyes his brother-in-law and shakes his head. "Don't even think it man. I am not going to fuck this up by trying to go for more."

Emmett nods but internally he is smirking. Whether either of them admitted it, it already was more. He got it though. Eric didn't want to lose what he had just got back. Kira was more than a bit skittish when it came to relationships. "I get it, believe me I do. I…"

Whatever he was going to say is cut off by a growl from Eric whose eyes go hard and his body tenses.

Out on the dance floor Kira lets the drinks she has had and the fact that she is enjoying herself take over. She moves to the beat and loses herself in the music. Shay, Lynn and Mar are never far from her and each other so she isn't worried about someone starting crap with her. She doesn't want to dance with anyone and they know that.

Well that isn't completely true. She wants to dance with Eric and badly. The more the night goes on and the drinks hit her system the more she starts to seriously consider it. They hadn't really ever got to do this. They had the one dance the night of their first kiss and the only other time they had danced had been the night they had first been intimate. That had been just an impromptu dance without any music, just the two of them pressed close and swaying together.

She could admit that several times when she had gone out over the last year or so here in Dauntless, she had wondered and often what it would be like to be with him dancing.

She was in the middle of that reflection when she felt hands go around her waist and someone press close to her back. She knew the second that the fingers touched her that it wasn't Eric. She also knew the second she got a whiff of their scent who it was. It had her grabbing a wrist, spinning around and twisting it so that it was behind his back and he was on the ground on his knees.

Her eyes were fire as she looked at the back of the head of her piece of crap ex, Ben. "I think you must be either fucking high or too drunk to remember Ben. But I believe I said you are to come nowhere near me or even think about touching me again." She growled out.

Shay and Mar were holding Lynn back, who was snarling at Ben.

"Kira baby, you know you miss me." He whined and tried to break free from her hold but she had him too good and it was hurting his shoulder badly.

"Miss you? You really are high. I miss nothing about you. I meant when I said to leave me alone and I never wanted to see you again unless I just had to for work. I suggest you listen and get the fuck out of my sight now."

"It's a open party. I can stay if I want…" Ben yelps because strong arms yank his arm harder. Eric had come up behind Kira and smoothly taken her place. Now he was the one in charge of making sure he got the message.

"You have just worn out you're fucking welcome. Get out of here before I toss your pathetic ass off of the Chasm and grant you your fondest fucking wish." Eric had leaned close to his ear to say this in his most deadly calm and menacing voice he could.

He felt disgust for how much the little punk trembled under him just from his words. He wanted to thrash him right there but he wouldn't because it would fuck up Kira's night. He promised himself though, he would be looking for Ben later on and making him pay for putting his hands on her.

Uri and Zeke had followed him and when Eric had lifted Ben up, they took over and made sure he got the message then left the area.

With him out of the way Eric turns to pull Kira to him. His forehead is furrowed and he looks her over as if she is hurt. With a sigh she moves closer, allowing him to cup her cheeks and look into her eyes.

Eric sees that she isn't upset or even bothered. In fact the moment his hands touched her there was no other thought that Eric.

"Dance with me Eric." Kira said as she lifted on her toes to move her mouth closer to his ear. Her breath was as warm as her body as it pressed against his and her arms wrapped around his neck.

He didn't even need to answer. He had known the second Ben was gone he wasn't leaving the dance floor without her, or without doing just what she was asking him to do.

Their friends, seeing that she was ok, moved on with smiles or smug looks when Eric pulled Kira to him. Almost instantly the two started to move in time with the music and each other.

The two for sure drew some looks. Some were girls that were eyeing the young leader or glaring the newest leader in envy. Most though wondered what the new addition to leadership was doing with that asshole when she could have any guy at her beck and call tonight.

Eric and Kira had eyes for no one but each other though and wouldn't have given a shit anyways if they did know what others were thinking when looking at the two of them.

His body pressed against hers, his hands as they moved almost hesitantly at first but then more sure and dominating; all of this was quickly tearing down the last reservations she had about taking the step towards physical with him. She didn't take it there as they were dancing, because the dancing was enough. Although she felt his lips graze along her neck and and shoulders more than a few times.

For Eric's part he was holding back so much as she moved her body against his. Her hands caressing his chest, arms, back and even his neck and into his hair as they danced. They were both breathing hard and there was no way she could not feel his arousal as it pressed into her or when it seemed like she sought it out to move against it.

He could have and should have stopped their dancing long before they did end up breaking away. He wondered if it looked like they had just engaged in sex to anyone else because it sure as fuck almost felt like it. It also brought home to him how much of a beautiful and sexy as hell woman she had grown into. The way she moved with him brought up all kinds of images of what it would be like for them in bed together now.

They had been amazing together before and from what he was experiencing now it felt like it would be mind blowing for them now. He tried to shove that thought away and after what had to be almost a half hour later, he led her back to the bar.

They were both still full of desire, panting hard from the dancing but also each other. He ordered their drinks but never let her move from the crook of his arm.

His eyes held hers and Kira smiled. Knowing he was checking again to make sure she was ok. "I'm fine Eric. Really. He hasn't and won't spoil this for us."

Eric felt a flash of heat and pleasure. 'She hadn't said me, she said us.' He returned the smile and leaned closer, by now they were both used to the gesture they allowed each other. Their foreheads pressed close together, noses brushing together and breathing each other in but also fighting constantly the pull that their mouths had on each other.

It must have been the drinks or the fact that they had worked themselves up beyond what they had ever dared to get to before. Maybe it was just her being tired of fighting what seemed as natural as breathing to her body. On the next time their noses brushed and lips ghosted above each other, Kira pressed up and into his.

It was instantaneous the gasp and growl that came from each of them. It was also instant when his hand whipped up to the back of her neck to pull her in and lock her there before his mouth took over and deepened the kiss. How he had the presence of mind to not only put his drink down but take hers and put it down too, she couldn't understand.

The second he did though and their hands were free, they were pulling each other closer. Her hands and nails went to the back of his neck, scraping along it as her body arched into him and she moaned in pleasure. Eric could only groan as he let his his hands move over her back, ass, shoulders and arms. The kiss only broke when they were left gasping for air, even then their lips didn't fully leave each others.

Neither had known they were capable of the depth of passion they just shared. They had been passionate before of course, but this was different and deeper somehow.

"Eric" Kira breathed against his lips before she swallowed.

Eric's heart felt like it was beating out of his chest and he was about to answer her almost whispered plea when a throat cleared around him. Closing his eyes and growling he pulled back to look over Kira's shoulder at Four who looked apologetic. He pointed to his watch and Eric understood.

"Baby…." Eric said into her ear as he brought her against his chest at the same time. "Will you go to the roof with me?"

Kira's arms wrapped around Eric and she sighed as she closed her eyes. The roof was good. Fresh air would help because she needed to be able to think, her mind was fuzzy but not from drink. Her body was also on fire and maybe the cool fall night air would help with that too. She doubted it but it couldn't hurt to try.

She nodded. "Ok." Was all she could get out.

Pulling back Eric cupped the sides of her face and tilted her head so he could see her eyes. He was looking for regret or an indication that if he kissed her again she would reject him. He didn't find that, just the desire that was sure to be in his eyes as well.

He allowed a brief press of his lips to hers in smaller and softer kisses before he pulled back again. He had to make sure to grab their jackets from the bartender.

Kira picked her drink back up and tossed it back before he handed her jacket to her. He smirked slightly then tossed his own back and put his jacket on. They turned together and he pulled her to his side. Their group had given them room but when they saw them ready to leave, they all made their way to the roof and the section that was set aside for the leaders, senior members and others that were invited to see the show but from that reserved section.

There were couches and fire bins placed around to provide warmth and light. There was also a few tables full of treats and with a smile Eric led Kira over to the table that Hestia and Horace were manning.

They both came around to give Kira hugs before they pressed covered paper coffee cups of a steaming drink that she was informed was a mocha and baileys coffee. Eric got one as well and then the each picked out a treat from their table. Somehow they decided to share when they both decided they wanted the cheescake with the berry compote topping.

The found a small sofa that was in the area their friends were already making their way to and taking other seats nearby. Max and Daria greeted them with smiles and failed to hide their smug looks.

It didn't bother Kira or Eric, hardly anything would at the moment. They all sat around talking while Eric would glance at his watch every once in awhile.

Kira sipped from her coffee, the warmth from the beverage and booze making her feel cozy. Eric pulled her closer into his side and smiled as he looked to her. "Are you warm enough babe? There are blankets here if we need them."

Kira shook her head with a smile. "I am fine. You, the fire and the coffee are making sure of that."

Eric couldn't help the smugness that came into his looks. "Good." He didn't look away and Kira could feel that desire flare up again in her. She knew she was going to act on it now, she just didn't know how to broach the subject to him.

The loud boom and crackle of the first fireworks was what broke their gazes from each other. Kira's eyes went to the sky and her face lit up with a smile as she laughed. "Fireworks! Oh that is perfect!"

He had made sure to have them, she was sure of it. In fact she was sure that Eric had a hand in almost every aspect, if not all aspects, of the party tonight. Chris was a wonderful planner and did her job well, but she wouldn't have been so focused on any of the things that had been spotlighted tonight. Not without at least some guidance. Eric had known what she would want more than anything and seen to it. Setting her cup down on the table, she took his and did the same. After that she looked at him a bit unsurely, she wanted to be even closer to him and share in this moment.

Eric knew what she wanted without having to be asked because he had just been thinking about lifting her up and putting her there anyways. So he did just that, he lifted her up and moved her to his lap. Her arms went around his neck, her side against his chest and their foreheads pressed together for a moment before they turned to watch the fireworks together.

She could feel the beats of his heart against her and it pulled to her, before the finale could even get close their lips found each other again. This time their mouths also explored neck, ears and jaws.

Her hands curled into him as shivers of pleasure coursed through her. Mistaking her shivers for being cold, Eric pulled back panting. "Are you ok baby? Do you want to go inside?" His voice was thick with desire but his forehead was furrowed in worry.

Kira started to shake her head no she but then she bit her bottom lip in thought. "Can we go? Not back to the party though." She almost held her breath when she said this and it made Eric's catch.

He swallowed but nodded then swiftly moved her to her feet and stood himself. They didn't stay for the finale and they didn't give more than a brief nod as he pulled her to his side and made their way to the apartments.

When they neared her apartment, he pulled his key card that worked for his and her door out to unlock her door.

Kira frowned because she remembered Maria, Zoe and Ava. "Eric." She put a hand out to stop him with a frown still in place.

"I don't have to come in Kira. We don't have…"

"Can we go to your apartment Eric?" Kira interrupted him before he could get the rest out.

Eric swallowed but nodded and pulled her along to his own apartment. With a look to her to be sure he opened the door and let her go in first. When the door was closed and locked he turned to see her standing by the doors to the balcony, looking up to the sky. The fireworks could be still seen from this part of the compound just not as well.

He slipped his jacket off and put it to the side before he moved to stand behind her. He lets his hands go to her waist and pull her closer but didn't move for more than that.

Kira closed her eyes and sighed at the contact again. Feeling brave she moved to take her jacket off and let it drop to a chair near by.

Eric turned her to face him and pull her against his chest. "Kira…"

She shook her head and put two fingers against his mouth before she took a breath and steeled herself. She wanted him but she didn't want to lose what they had because of it. She needed to make that clear. "I want you Eric. I haven't ever stopped wanting that and it has gotten worse, even before all of this."

She stopped because she could see and feel the pleasure that radiated through him at these words. His hand moved to cover hers and move her fingers from his mouth.

Eric sensed a 'but' coming up and he braced himself for it. "I hear a but in there somewhere Kira so let me just say, I want you too. I want what we have again more though. I don't want to lose you ever again."

Kira nodded "I feel the same way, but what if we could have both Eric." She blushed and chewed her bottom lip in thought of how to word it.

Eric tensed and looked to her. "What do you mean Kira?"

Kira sighed and looked at his chest as she went ahead and blurted it out. Lynn had told her that it was also called friends with benefits. That sounded much less crude than fuck buddies. So that would be how she would present it to him. "We keep our friendship but it would be just a bit more. Like with…."

Eric wanted to growl but didn't. He knew where she was headed with this now. His fingers dug into her hip and his body responded whether he fucking wanted it to or not. She wanted to be friends with benefits. While this should be fucking the best news, it wasn't because it wasn't what he really wanted. Yes he wanted her physically but he wanted more with her. He wanted everything with her and only her from now on.

But he would take what he could get, so he knew before she spoke the word he was agreeing.

"Benefits." Kira finished, unaware of the internal struggle in Eric. She was having one herself, because as soon as she started speaking the words her heart and body went to war. Her heart wasn't happy but her body was already anticipating getting some relief.

Eric's breathing began to get heavier and his nostrils flared. "Are you sure Kira?" His voice was strained.

She wasn't completely but she wanted him and that was ruling her for the moment. "Yes Eric. I want you, but can we do this?"

"If this is what you want Kira, then yes." Before she could second guess it though the selfish bastard part of him that he had been shoving to the side from the moment they woke up together reared his head. He claimed her mouth in a kiss to drive every thought from her head, his hands roaming her body at the same time.

Her hands worked to move under his shirt and he groaned as she moaned at the contact. He broke away panting because he needed to make like he was on board with this. In reality he would take every opportunity to use this so that they would be what he knew they should be. What she wanted to be but was still so scared of him hurting her to allow again.

He pressed his forehead to hers. "Do you know what that means though Kira. Do you know the rules of it?"

Panting and dazed she shook her head. "Not really, just a little."

Eric silently thanked the gods for whoever suggested this and that they didn't tell her what it all meant. "Then we need to talk about that before Kira. You need to be sure."

Kira nodded and licked her lips. His hands were still roaming over her, making her mind stay hazy. Especially when one trailed up her stomach and to cup her breast over her dress. His mouth moved to start nipping and kissing along her jaw near her ear and neck. "We don't see anyone else and if we do we tell each other. No other hookups Kira. That is what with benefits means." He almost growls that. It is the most important one for him and the only one he cares about really. Making her his, and only his.

Kira nodded as she gasps when his fingernails scraped over her nipple through the dress and stick on bra. "No one else." Was all she got out in a breathy whisper.

A rumble of pleasure went through his chest as he smiled into her neck. "No sneaking off or hiding it either Kira. This isn't cheap or dirty. This is us."

Something almost tickled in the back of her head, telling her to think a bit more but it was driven out of her mind when Eric moved his lips to her pulse point and began to suck, bite and soothe her there. She moaned and clutched to him.

Reluctantly, Eric pulled back and looked to her, he needed her to answer that last and agree. "Do you understand that last part Kira? I won't hide this because there is nothing to be ashamed of."

With heavy lidded eyes Kira looked into Eric's and saw the demand for an answer. "Yes Eric. No hiding it."

The amount of triumph he felt at that blew the last restraint he had. Eric claimed her mouth in a kiss and lifted her in his arms at the same time. He wasted no time in moving them to his bedroom and to finalize the claim of her again before anything could get in his way.d get in his way.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Well here is another chapter. I wasn't going to do the love scene with Kira and Eric but I realized it is important that we see them come together. Even if to Kira it is just a hook up, in her mind anyways. To Eric it is so much more and he intends to make her see it that way too. So this will be a bit smutty. I am working on my anti smut beacon that activates anytime I read, write or think about this stuff so hopefully it is believable and riveting. It will also hopefully be a bit sappy and emotional. As always thanks for the reads, reviews, follows and favs.**

 **Warning: Reference to self harm...because Kira has a dark side and is self destructive it manifests in a certain way...Eric just breaks crap and beats it into submission with his.**

 **Running soundtrack for this particular soundtrack was actually 'Say you love me' Jessie Ware, Cohen's Hallelujah, 'Into the Mystic' Van Morison and because I am weird like that 'Pillow Talk' by Zayn Malk**

 _ **Disclaimer: "That's what a writer does; they make things up and that makes for good reading" (Debbie Reynolds) V Roth made up the world that I currently frolic in, she owns it all expect for the fireworks I set off as I go.**_

 **Chapter 7**

When Eric sat her on the edge of his bed and stepped back he realized that there wasn't enough light. There had only been the bathroom light on at the time when he left. That wouldn't do. He wanted to see all of her during this. So before the went any further he flipped on his bedside lamps.

He moved back over to her and kneeled down. She was sitting on the edge of the bed, not having moved at all, and looking more than a little dazed still. His hands moved along her hips as he went in to kiss her again, letting them trail down her legs softly until he reached her feet. He took her boots off one at a time, taking his time as he was still kissing her.

Her arms had gone to wrap around his neck and once he had her shoes off he stood, taking her with him to stand. He kicked his own shoes off and they broke apart. Her hands had moved from his neck, down his chest and the edge of his shirt. She didn't waste time in lifting it up to let him know she wanted it off of him. With a small side smile he carried it the rest of the way over his head and let it fall to the ground.

He hands had already gone back to stroking and moving over his chest before he even got it all the way off, she let her lips follow that as well and began to kiss along his chest and neck. His eyes closed at the feel as he lets his own hands move up her back to her neck and the zipper of her dress. As she explored him he slowly worked her zipper down.

Kira felt the back of her dress being parted and Eric's fingers tracing along her spine. She moaned just at the feel of something so simple and sought more. He own hands went to his jeans and began to unbutton all while her mouth and tongue moved along his chest, neck, and his nipples. All causing his chest to heave even more than it had before.

He could feel his patience at letting her have this time starting to fade and fast. When her teeth raked across his nipple and his pants were being pushed down his hips, that patience snapped.

He took her mouth roughly while he barely restrained himself from ripping the dress from her completely as he moved it off her shoulders and down her body. When it was finally off and his pants were down he moved his hands to cup her ass and lift her up.

Kira couldn't help the moans that escaped her when she felt Eric lose his patience. She wrapped her legs around his waist willingly as he lifted her up. He took them both to the bed but never broke the kiss. They were moving against each other, straining to achieve the ultimate contact.

Eric broke the kiss to pull back and look down on Kira, his hands roaming over her until he peeled away the stick on bra to be replaced by his lips and tongue. Kira felt like she was going crazy with need and emptiness.

"Eric, please...I need to feel you inside me." Kira pleaded. She knew she should let them savor this and take their time. It had been too long and she was too desperate with need for him.

Eric was cursing himself because he knew he was going to give in. It had been too long and he was barely holding on as it was. Kira saw the debate and started mentally cursing. She raised up to meet him and claimed his mouth in a kiss then let her hands move down to slip into his briefs, her hand sliding over the straining length of him.

This caused both of them to groan but it was also the catalyst for Eric and his own hand moved to Kira's hips and to her underwear. He didn't even wait for her to lift them or move so he could roll them down. He just gripped a side and ripped one side and the the other.

Kira gasped into his mouth, turned on beyond belief at the impatient act and her hands moved to shove his briefs down and out of the way. Their mouths were still locked together in a hungry kiss but Eric broke away and helped to kick his boxers away as he also pulled the now ruined underwear away from her body.

He was already between her legs and they were still almost wrapped around him. The sight of her laying spread before him, ready and panting with desire blew any and every last resolve he had about taking his time.

He also promised himself and her that this would only be the first of many tonight and he would make sure next time he got his way. So he told her that with his eyes and words as he rubbed himself against her. "Get ready for a long night Kira. Because I will never get enough of you."

Kira smiled a bit of a wicked smile as she panted and the fire coursed through her at his words and looks at her. "If that is a challenge Eric, then game on." Her voice was breathy but that turned into a gasp as her body arched and her legs locked around him when he plunged into her.

It felt amazing, to have him there inside of her again. It was also completely different this time because they were older and different. His mouth moved to hers to claim it again as he moved in her. At first he tried to be slow. He was allowing her to adjust because she was so damn tight around him. Then their bodies that were starved for each took over and they began to buck and writhe against each other in a faster pace.

"Gods baby, you feel so good." Eric moaned when he pulled away from the kiss to move to her breasts.

Kira dug her fingers into his back as she continued her movements and moans. She also lost any presence of mind as she admitted this next. "No one will ever make me feel like you do Eric."

The admission burned through Eric and sent a growl of approval from him as he doubled his efforts, one hand moved to stroke her between them the other went to her hair tangling into it and making her look at him. "No one but you and me Kira. Only you baby."

Before she could process that and what he meant by that, she felt herself there at the edge. He knew exactly how to move against and in her that it was spiraling her out of control and fast. Eric couldn't hold on much longer because whether she knew she was doing it or not, her words, movements and the way she clenched her muscles they were all dragging him into his climax faster than he wanted.

"So close." He groaned as he held her eyes.

Kira was panting and arching further into him. "Don't ever stop Eric. Please...oh shit…" She felt herself tip over the edge and Eric pinched slightly on her clit that made her completely shatter around him. "Fuck Eric!"

Seeing her come undone and the force of it was his undoing as he spilled into her while still pumping. "So beautiful...Kira…"

When they both come down from their climaxes, Eric moves beside Kira and pulls her to him. They are lying chest to chest and he strokes her faces, shoulders and arms. Tracing along the pattern of the tattoo on her left side. He explores the dips and valleys of her body that just seemed riper than when he last held her like this.

They both were thinking that after just finding pleasure in each other that they should feel sated at least a little bit. That wasn't the case and while his touch was gentle it still was setting her body on fire. It wasn't as desperate as before but it was building.

She let her own hands roam over him, letting her fingers trace along the muscles and veins in his arms, hands, neck and all the other places she realized she had been thinking about but could never act on.

Like promised though Eric was going to take his time. His hands continued to explore until they reached her center. He smiled at her soft gasp and whimper when his fingers continued to ghost and tease instead of making the contact that he knew she longed for.

"Eric.." she breathed in a moan.

Eric's lips were grazing across her throat and he smiled into her neck. "Not yet baby. I plan to take my time, and you are going to come undone for me as many times as I can get before the morning."

Shivers went down her spine at his words and the fact that he was getting closer to the place she craved him to touch. When he moved to kiss her then lean back and watch her face as he made final contact their eyes held and she moved her hand to take him into it.

It was almost like when they first started to explore each other so long ago. That look of wonder of each other on their faces and battling with the passion that was taking them over. Even then his need to take care with her had almost beat his animalistic side into submission. She loved both but she loved when she made him lose control more.

So that was what she worked to do as he started to do the same to her. Between her panting and moans as he stroked her clit while moving his fingers in her she gripped and stroked him.

With a flush on her skin and a sly look in her eyes she had an idea of something that might just set him over the edge of keeping that control. Her lips hovered near his ear and she gently nipped and sucked on it. He groaned as his hips moved along with her movements. Steeling herself to be brave and go somewhere they had never dared go in their youth she took a breath. "Let me taste you baby."

Eric had been struggling to take his time again. He always did with her even when they were together. That was when they were younger and both still pretty innocent. Now they were both grown and she was beyond tempting to him. He fought himself to not ravish her and when she started to work her hand over him it got worse.

Her body responding to his slightest touch and breath on her skin sent jolts of pleasure through him that he didn't think it was possible to feel. Her words though, asking to do something he would never have even fucking allowed himself to think of her doing with him saw that control completely blown once again. He growled at that but then when he pulled back he had a wicked grin.

Kira's breath caught at the look in his eyes and the pure lust she saw. This was what she wanted right? Why was it sending flutters and fire through her and making her legs shake when she wasn't even standing?

Eric claimed her mouth in a kiss and withdrew his hand from pleasuring her. He smirked into her mouth as she whimpered in frustration. They pulled back panting and Eric swallowed but put his plan into action.

She wanted to taste him but he wanted to do the same thing with her. Luckily there was a way to do both. "How bad do you want to taste me baby?"

Kira's eyes went glazed and she moaned as she continued to stroke him, she didn't answer right away so he grabbed her hand and made it go still. Kira pouted and met his eyes. "Please baby? I….I dreamed about tasting you Eric."

He couldn't help the groan that escaped him but he knew she would be embarrassed about his suggestion so he needed to work her into it. Hell he was almost embarrassed about asking it.

"If you get to taste me I taste you baby, it's only fair." He did the same thing to her she had done to him and whispered this near her ear as he had been kissing and sucking on it.

Kira moaned and her body flushed again. She knew what he was talking about but she had never saw that in her fantasies with him. "Eric...I…" she swallowed and moaned again when his mouth moved and he was pushing her to her back so that he could take her nipples into her mouth.

"That's the deal Kira." He purred as he kissed across to the other side to work his mouth there. His teeth graze the bud, tugging gently and her free hand went to grip his shoulder.

"Yes...gods dammit yes." She panted out after her uncertainty broke from the desire.

Smirking slightly Eric didn't hesitate to move them into position. Kira felt exposed and ridiculous almost hovering above Eric's mouth. Until he began to gently lick and suck along her thighs, moving closer to her center.

His hands roamed over her thighs and he saw the proof of the pain she had suffered while they were apart. He fought back his growl at that and pushed it aside. He would talk to her about that later but not now, he wouldn't spoil this now. As long as she never did that to herself again he could handle it.

He let his desire and frustration come through and began to work his tongue and fingers in all the right places on her. He had to pause though when she finally was overcome enough in the pleasure to let her own mouth seek what she had been dreaming about doing to him.

She was hesitant at first because she had never even done this with Ben. She wouldn't admit it to herself but she didn't because she knew if it wasn't with Eric it wouldn't be with anyone. Soon as Eric began to bring her more pleasure her desire to do the same increased and she was taking him into her mouth. At first it wasn't as deep but she worked her hand up and down his length as well.

His own groans spurred her own and when he gave a louder one or it seemed he increased his attentions she took him deeper. It wasn't long though before she was close to her climax and the stubborn part of her was not having that unless she got to taste him too.

She might not have done this before but she had heard enough talk and jokes in the patrol barracks she stayed in. Using things she had heard there she started moving her hand in a twisting motion while the other gently cupped and worked over his balls. She also didn't notice that because she was so focused on something else and being driven mad by Eric's attentions, she was taking him all the way in.

His groan and the tightening of his thighs and balls alerted her he was close. Her own hips were moving as she neared her own climax and they both seemed to sync up. Hers was just as explosive as his and their bodies trembled as the braced themselves until they passed.

When he was sure she was ok he moved himself and her until she was in his arms again and he was kissing her deeply.

They both lost count to how many times they brought pleasure to each in small and big ways but they both got their way. The only thing they didn't get to do that night before the both collapsed in exhaustion and feeling like their bones were jelly was Eric wanting to take a shower with her.

He promised himself as she drifted to sleep in his arms that he would take care of that in the morning. She had asked him to make sure they woke up early so that she could be there to take over for Maria and make breakfast for them and Ava.

He let her drift first and sighed in complete contentment to have her in his arms and in his life again. He knew it would take some time for her to realize that what they had wasn't just friends with a bit of benefits. It could never be that way for them, but he would play along for now.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Hey All! Got a few updates for the story finally! I have decided I am going to work on this story and get it finished. Not all chapters are going to be long but they will be meaningful. This won't be a long story but I hope you all like it. I love Kira and Eric and am excited for everyone to experience the journey with them.**

 **As always thanks for the view, reviews, follows and favs.**

 **Since I am heavily inspired and influenced by the music I listen to while working I am going to list my soundtrack for the chapters. You can check them out or not but if this were a movie they would for sure be playing in the background.**

 **Nina June 'For Love', X Ambassadors 'Unsteady', Blackbear 'idgaf', Plumb 'Cut'**

 **Chapter 8**

Kira opened the door to her apartment and smiled as she heard the sounds of the music playing coming from the entertainment unit. She took off her jacket and hung it on the hooks that were for that purpose and then kicked off her boots in the area that had been designated for their boots.

She groaned slightly at the action. She was sore and tired and had done so much walking, climbing, squatting and other various repetitive things over the past week as she and a team from Dauntless as well as Amity went over Amities living quarters that were in serious need of refurbishing. Almost more than Dauntless had been and that is saying something.

"Hey babe. I thought I heard you come home." Eric said as he walked towards her smiling. He looked like he had just gotten home himself.

She smiled and sighed. "Gods I am so tired."

Eric nodded and pulled her to him. Kissing her as his hands went to her back and rubbed up and down.

"I thought you might be. I wasn't sure exactly when you would be home but from your last message I think I timed it right. I ran you a bath and there is a glass of wine waiting for you too." Eric smirked at the almost moan of pleasure from her the moment he mentioned that he had run a bath for her.

"Mmm. That sounds wonderful." Kira pulled back as her face had been pressed to his chest. She pulled him to meet her lips and kissed him deeply. When they pulled back they were panting. "I feel like we have barely seen each other this week. We are both so exhausted when we get home we just tend to eat and collapse to sleep."

Eric nods, trying to catch his breath. Trying not to show how much her saying home in regards to both of them affected him. It was the first time she had done that and he had practically been living here for the last month. Not practically. He had been living here. He had just stopped trying to pretend and living out of a bag then had just moved most of his shit over to her place.

"I know baby, me too. I am glad we are looking at some time off this weekend." He was trying to keep his composure but she was giving him the look he had come to know pretty freaking well over the last month.

Kira smiled up at him. Her eyes getting a little heavy lidded because all she could think about right now was that the bath sounded wonderful but the bath with Eric sounded even better. "We could start it off right. You could join me in that bath with the wine." Her voice was a breathy purr as it came out.

Eric's reaction was immediate as his own eyes became hooded. He had planned to make them some dinner and have it ready for after she got out of the bath.

Fuck it. They could eat leftovers or go out if it just fucking came to it.

He didn't bother answering her. He just picked her up and carried her giggling to the bathroom.

She wasted no time in stripping herself after he put her down. She didn't rush though because he had moved to pour himself a glass of wine. So she decided to be a little brave and she pushed him down onto the vanity bench in the bathroom.

He moaned when he got the picture of what she was about to do but he also wasn't about to protest at fucking all.

He could tell she was trying to be daring but still the flush on her skin showed that she wasn't completely comfortable with being so brazen. He loved her even more for wanting to explore this with him but still keeping that innocence he loved.

She lifted her shirt up slowly. She was just far enough that he could see everything while he could still almost feel the whisper of her movements. She hadn't done this on purpose as far as to tease him. Just having him near made her more brave because of his body heat. It drove her crazy having him so near but holding herself back from touching and kissing him all over like she wanted to.

She didn't know that he was thinking the exact same thing as she peeled her pants off. She was facing away from him so that her butt was right there. That one was on purpose. So was her opening her legs so that they were a little further apart and then keeping her legs straight as she bent forward, rolling her pants down but giving him a good view of her barely covered ass.

"Jesus Kira. That's fucking hot." Eric's voice is strained. He is torn between smirking at the blush on her face or reaching out and letting his hands run over her nicely shaped ass.

So he does both. She moans when he starts to gently cup her ass cheeks and he pulls her so that she is sitting in his lap. Her back is against his chest. He moves her face so that he can claim her mouth in a kiss. Then he is the one that is moaning as she starts to move her hips in an undulating manner. One of her arms circles around his neck while his move to run along her hips, stomach and then finally to her breasts.

When he starts to cup them and then tries to take her bra off for her she breaks the kiss gasping but shaking her head.

He growls when she also moves away from him with a wicked look in her eye as she looks over her shoulder back at him. He has never seen anything so fucking sexy as she starts to unhook her bra, still walking towards the bathtub. She lets that fall and then just before she gets to the bathtub she stops and rolls her underwear off, balls them up and throws them at him with a laugh.

It takes entirely too long to get his own shit off but he practically leaps into the tub after her. She had started to take a sponge and letting it soak up water. Then she would hold it and squeezing the water so that it fell in streams down between her breasts.

He was harder than hell by the time he was settled in the tub. He loved seeing her like this and she didn't often get daring. Not like the time two weeks ago she had begged him to take her on their balcony after he had been teasing her while they were standing together and looking out at the view.

"Come here baby." Kira says as she smiles at Eric.

Needing no other invitation he pulls her to him on the other side of the huge tub. She moves into his arms letting her legs go to either side of him but not before also letting her body slide against his slowly.

Eric groans and closes his eyes, enjoying the small pleasure. When she is settled in his lap she runs her hands along his neck and shoulders. Kneading and massaging until she gets to his hair and she runs her hands through that.

"Gods Kira, that feels good baby." Eric moans and sighs as her fingers start to then move over his scalp.

Kira sighs with a smile. "Good. You deserve to relax to Eric." She says this seriously because she knows he has been trying to take on more of the projects so she won't be so bogged down with work.

Eric opens his eyes and holds hers. "I do baby. Every night I get to come home to you and hold you." He moves his own hands along her back, copying her gesture of kneading and massaging.

Her eyes close and she sighs before she moves her lips to his. She never stops her attentions of simply trying to work the knots and kinks from his shoulders and neck. He doesn't stop his attentions to her back either. They stay like this for a few minutes kissing deeply, then breaking away for smaller kisses and air only to go back in again.

Somewhere along that way she had started to move her hips against him. His hardness sliding against her slickness in a teasing manner that neither really want to stop. His hands move to her front and when they both move to cup her breasts the kiss is broken as Kira gasps and drops her head back and moans.

Her neck is bared before him and he takes the opening. Moving in to kiss and suck on her neck while his fingers and hands massage and tweak her nipples.

Kira bites her bottom lips, her eyes still closed but moves one hand to go between them and grasp him. When he realizes what she is doing he moves his mouth away from her neck and a hand goes to the back of her head to cup it.

"Look at me when you take me baby." His voice is thick with desire but also the words he fights himself to not say everyday. Because she isn't ready yet. He knows she fights herself too but until she can even admit what they are then he can't give in and say them outloud.

Kira's eyes open and they are burning. Burning with desire and the fire that has been raging in her heart. A fire she fights everyday especially in moments like these. In moments where Eric does something so simple just because he wants to make her day better. Moments like these when he all but says he loves her.

She slides down on him, their eyes connected and she sighs at the partial connection. There is still that missing piece but she can't give him or herself that.

"Eric…" She moans and closes her eyes, taking a deep breath and opening them. "I need you Eric." Her forehead furrows in frustration because those aren't the right words but they are the only ones she has to give right now.

Eric pulls her in for a kiss. Letting everything they aren't saying pour into it. Her body rocking against his, her hips rolling back and forth while her muscles work over him. He is letting her take her pleasure from him but is also gaining so much at the same time. This is one of the rare times she allows it to be gentle. When she allows it to be what they really are instead of always trying to push to make him lose control and turn it more primal.

He loves those times when they both get lost in each other and can touch that part of themselves. But this is what he had longed for and missed from them for all those years. This side of him that no one ever touched, that he would never allow anyone to touch, but his Kira.

Panting with the effort of holding back his release until she got her own he pulled back and held her eyes. Their mouths open, ready to claim each other in a kiss. His hips start to move up into her on their own.

He brushes his nose against hers before he nips her lower lip gently. His hand that was cupping and working her breasts and nipples moves between them to start to work over the center of nerves he knows so well.

Her gasp and sigh before she smiles brings a smile of his own before she bites her bottom lip and holds his eyes. Her hands go to the back of his neck and dig in. She is so close and she picks up her movements.

"So close Eric." She moans while he nods, his nostrils flaring.

"Me too baby. Let go with me Kira. Please baby." He allows himself to beg this of her. For her not to fight it and make it a battle of wills or a challenge. To give herself over to him and he give himself over to her.

Now it is Kira's turn to nod as she continues to moan because she is right there. And the look in his eyes and tone of voice is sending her over the edge along with his fingers pressing that magic button.

"Together now Eric…." She cries as she feels herself start to shatter.

Eric groans as his mouth moves over hers. "Always Kira...together Always." He barely gets out as he thrusts up and starts to release.

From somewhere deep inside Kira something breaks and a it comes out as a strangled sob. "I burn for you Eric." She whispers as her arms wrap around his neck and he pulls her to him.

Their bodies are trembling still while she makes that declaration. His hand moves to wipe away the tear with a gentle stroke of his thumb followed by his lips as they press to her eyes, forehead and then lips in gentle and loving presses.

He sighs when pulls back and looks into her eyes again, with a smile full of love. It is as close as she is going to allow herself to come to saying it right now. But it is better than they where they were. It fills him with happiness too.

"I'm all yours Kira." He takes a breath before he says the next part. "I am always all yours baby. I won't hurt you again...ever."

Kira can feel it, the love and truth coming from him. And she wants to say the words so bad but she can't let herself believe it. Can't let herself go there with him because if the pendulum swings this time she will be torn in half and there will be no putting herself back together from that.

This is all she can give him and she hopes he can accept that and her. So she doesn't speak again. She just smiles and kisses him deeply. His arms go around her to bring her against his chest. His big arms and warm body bringing her comfort more than the steaming and jetted water of the tub they are in.

Minutes later, when they have drawn that needed comfort from each other they relax into the bath together.

Kira is sitting in between his legs, her back against his chest and they are sipping on the wine. The jets are working over the muscles of them both and they have their eyes closed. They are listening to the music Kira set when she grabbed their wine and the bottle.

"How are things in Amity?" Eric asks with a sigh after taking another sip from his glass.

Kira grunts and frowns. "We thought we had it bad Eric. Did you know I always thought that Amity just liked to live in the stone ages with basically no sources of electricity or power. That they did this on purpose. Apparently that isn't anywhere near the truth."

Eric frowns and looks down at her as she had turned her head to look up at him. "I always thought so too. It just seemed to fit I guess."

She nodded and sighed. "I found out it was dictated to them. When the factions were set up it was determined at the time that Amity shouldn't need all of those little luxuries. Guess who that was suggested by and made sure they got their way."

Eric couldn't help the small growl that left his chest in a rumble. "Erudite. Why the fuck am I not surprised?"

Kira sighs again and takes a sip of her wine. "Anyways, there were proposals over the many years to change it. Most were made because of times when the winters were bad. The deaths that could have been prevented because they couldn't keep warm enough to keep the elderly or young from getting colds or making them worse, it just boils my blood. So that is what I am working on and trying to get it done fast. We are approaching winter and I want to at least get the main compound done. If it gets bad then there will be somewhere to go to. Their remodels are easier to do as far as the buildings are easier to access. So I am doing a combination of solar, wind and hydro but then as backups adding generators."

Eric kisses her temple and smiles. "Smart to have not only one source and keeping them in tune with their love of nature. I am sure that pissed Erudite off because they couldn't claim it was going against a core belief of the faction."

Kira smirked and looked up at him. "You know it. It also pissed them off that we didn't have to go to them for near as much surplus as they would like. I can machine most of the parts here and what I can't I am able to use our printers with. It is taking more in man hours but I think the trade off is well worth it. We have been getting some pretty good trades but our relationship with Amity it just much better."

Eric smirked and began to work his hands through her hair after he had put his glass of wine down. His touch was gentle as he started to massage and wash her hair. He never believed something like this simple act could bring him such pleasure but it did. They showered together often and if he could and they weren't just too tired he took every chance he could.

She closed her eyes with a smile knowing how much he loved to do this for her. She felt his little rumbles of pleasure in his chest when she would sigh or moan during it.

"So we are giving Shay and Emmett a reprieve this weekend and taking Ava right?" Eric asked as he moved to slowly rinse her hair of the product.

Kira hums with a smile. "Yeah. I am looking forward to it. She was so excited when Emmett brought her by the workshop to see Shay and I. She also asked for her Nix so I think we are going to at least have him over for a few hours."

Eric finished rinsing her hair then kissed her temple and with a sigh picked up his wine glass and sipped. He was trying not to ruin this by his own issues with her relationship and bond with the baby of her ex.

Kira leans back into him for a moment and then frowns. She knows he hates how close she is with Ally and Phoenix but she doesn't understand why he has such issues with it. They never see Ben. He makes the bare minimum appearances in the lives of Ally and Nix, just enough so that he can't be charged with abandonment.

With a sigh she goes to move to the other side of the bath but Eric stops her but circling his arms around her. "Don't Kira. I'm sorry, really. I can't explain why it upsets me and I know it might be hard for me to understand but I am trying. I love that you are so giving Kira. I also fucking hate it because it worries the shit out of me baby. You just give so fucking much and can forget about taking care of yourself."

Kira turns in his arms and wraps her arms around his neck. "I know that it is hard for you to understand. It was hard for everyone to understand at first and I can't explain why it was important to my either. But it is so very important to me Eric. I don't want you to be hurt by it and that kills me. Doesn't that tell you though just how much it means to me though?"

His forehead scrunches up and he nods. "I know you aren't trying to hurt me Kira. Like I said I am trying. It's just shit I have to deal with or figure out I guess." He shrugs and moves a hand to the side of her face and strokes her cheek. "If you want to have him here for the weekend and it makes you and Ava happy, then I am all for that. Anything to make my girls happy."

He was rewarded my her beaming smile before the came together in a kiss. Inside he knew he was still going to struggle with it but he also resolved to not let affect shit with Kira and him anymore. He was going to try anyways. There was just something about seeing her with his kid that cut him to the core and he couldn't for the fucking life of him explain why.

He shook those thoughts from his mind for the moment. Because right now all that mattered was the beautiful woman in his arms that was doing her best to drive him out of his mind with her kisses and hands.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: No long note here but here are the Soundtrack to the chapter songs for this one. It is a short one so not a lot of songs listed.**

 **Ryan Star 'Losing your memory', Red 'Start Again', Tove Lo 'Scars"**

 **Chapter 9**

Kira's phone blared through the extremely early morning hours. Startling her awake and making her jump only to find she couldn't really jump with her being locked in Eric's arms.

Eric himself started to growl and curse as he lifted his head. "If that is the fucking workshop calling or messaging you again at this hour...I will fucking starting throwing people into the Chasm."

Kira gave a grumble of agreement but rolled over, when he let her go, to grab her phone from her bedside table. She didn't look at the name as she swiped to accept the call.

"Gods this better be important." She grumbled in a bit of a temper. They had worked late and had been for the past month to try and get the family living quarters finished before the snow set in. Before that she had been working nonstop to get Amity taken care of before winter too. Tonight it had felt like Eric and her had barely fallen into their bed before her phone was going off.

Kira listened to the frantic girl on the other end and she bolted up in bed. "Ally, keep the door locked! Do not let that fucker in no matter what he is threatening to do. Do you understand me? I am on my way. No arguments. Take Phoenix into your room, lock the door and stay there."

She was already out of the bed and moving. She vaguely felt Eric coming up behind her and knew he wouldn't be happy but she also didn't care.

"What the fuck is going on now Kira?" Eric asked, trying not to sound like a dick but he still didn't like how involved she was in that jerks mess. He had been trying so fucking hard but it was just hard for him.

"What did it sound like Eric? He is apparently drunk and banging at her door. Threatening to take himself out but now he has added in that he is going to take 'his son' with him." Kira scowled and gritted out.

Eric sighed and knew he wasn't going to win the fight to get her to not go. So he started throwing on clothes too, but also picked up his phone and dialed into Control. He barked out a few orders while Kira was throwing her hair into a ponytail. He noticed she had also grabbed her fucking sidearm and he growled about that too.

"Kira don't you walk out that door without me dammit." He yelled as he was pulling on his own boots. Thank gods he had just moved his shit over to her place instead of living out of a damn bag like he had for the first few days he had stayed over.

"Fine!" She snapped and stood by the door, arms crossed over his chest. She knew he didn't like how involved she was with Ally and Phoenix. She still hadn't told him just how far that extended. Whether he liked it or not, those two had become family.

Ava had even adopted him as her 'Nix'. Kira had gotten Ally transferred from working Patrols to the Annex Management Department so that she could have better hours and pay. It also got her away from any chances of running into Ben. He hadn't stepped up really, but was visiting his son just enough to avoid being charged with abandonment.

When Eric was dressed and had his own weapons, should he need to coerce the asshole, he went out and met Kira at the door. He didn't let his frustration show because they didn't need that right now. They just needed to take care of this shit and get back to bed. He also knew this had her upset that the punk was threatening the baby she had almost adopted herself.

With a sigh he wrapped her to his side as they made their way quickly down the corridors to Ally's apartment. "I am guessing you will want them to come back to the apartment for now?" It was a question but he already knew the answer. That was just Kira. She wouldn't be able to rest unless she made sure those two were safe.

Kira looked over to Eric to see if he was upset. She didn't see that, just him being resigned to the fact that was what was going to happen. "I know you might not like them staying with us Eric, but it will be better for right now."

Eric nodded but didn't say anything. If he wasn't so exhausted and pissed at the moment he would be pleased she had said 'us' and not me. She was slowly starting to see it that way more and more. He hadn't exactly given her a choice though. He had just smoothly started to move in. Their friends didn't say anything and neither did they. It had been three months since they had become intimate again and within that first week he had moved in.

As tired and busy as they were, Eric and Kira were also ridiculously happy too. He got to come home to her when they were working on different projects or he had to attend to other duties as a second in command. Shay had been moved to work directly under both Kira and Eric under the double departments. She tried to do a lot of the running for Kira as far as taking care of getting the orders filled in Erudite and that all transported back to the compound or sometimes picking up things from Amity.

Kira had been appointed the Liaison with Amity and was also working on helping to get them updated and outfitted. The remodels and refurbishing of the compound and homes were just the tip of the iceberg there really.

It wasn't until he had gone with Kira to visit and inventory what surplus they could arrange to get and what they could machine for Amity that he had realized it. That alone had become an almost full time project for Kira now. It had also made relations between the two factions better than they had ever been.

Their time at home or when they worked in the office together became rare over the last month but they always ended up together at night. Eric pulled her closer and sighed. He knew part of his frustration was that he hated those hours during the night when they could be together without work, family or friends in the way, to be interrupted.

Another big part of it was he felt this insecurity that he was not used to dealing with at all. At the root of it was that there was some hold that the shithead still had on her, even if it wasn't directly. It was also deeper and he couldn't quite explain what bothered him so terribly about her with his son. He just knew that when he saw her holding, playing with or just the love she felt for Phoenix it felt like knives being plunged into his heart. He just needed to figure this shit out because it was causing strain between them and he couldn't have that.

"OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR YOU CUNT!"

That was the sound that greeted them as they got to the start of Ally's apartment corridor. Her apartment was at the opposite end of the corridor and he could be heard clearly as it also sounded like he was trying to kick the door in.

Kira felt her blood boiling even more and almost took off in a run but Eric stopped her with a snarl and a shake of his head. "You fucking stay behind me Kira. There are a few guards coming and we wait for them to get here. They will take him away and hopefully that will be the end of it but until then stay behind me."

"I can take care of myself Eric." Kira warned him with a scowl on her face.

Eric pushed her against the wall and his face was dead serious. "This isn't to keep you from getting hurt Kira but from me killing the bastard because if he even looks like he is going to touch you I will kill him."

They sat like that for a minute just staring each other down before Kira narrowed her eyes and nodded. "If he looks like he is going to touch you either Eric I can't promise I won't do the same."

Eric's lips twitch slightly and he shakes his head before he kisses her quickly. "Deal." He said simply and moved in front of her. He got an update that the guards were moving in and they hung back to let them take care of it at first.

They could hear that he was giving them shit and when they heard him boast he would kick their asses they went to move closer.

They didn't have to because as soon as Ben's utterly drunk ass made a move, Hector one of the guards on duty, only had to take him out with one punch to the temple. He dropped hard and was out.

Smirking Eric moved closer and nodded to Hector and Alex. "Cuff his ass and take him in Alex. Hector there were reports from the neighbors on what was said and done. Take their statements and get it logged in. We can figure out what all to charge him with from there. Kira, go ahead and call Ally and let her know it is safe to let us in."

Kira was already dialing before could finish speaking. Eric was in the middle of sending out his own updates to Four and Zeke. He had told them to just handle Control and get everything recorded. He also made plans with them and Max to get together and see what they could do about getting the shithead out of the compound all together. If they could get him charged with enough they could bust his ass down a rank and put him on Fence duty. He sure as shit was going to get him with everything he could to try and make that happen.

By the time Ben was hauled off Ally had finally come to the door. She was a mess and Kira had to get her calmed down before they could really talk to her.

"Ally unless you press charges we can't get a protective order to keep him from doing this shit again. Think of Nix Ally. Think of his screams when all of that was going on." Kira hated having to do that to her but if she didn't Ally would just brush it off. She knew Ally loved Phoenix dearly and it was only in regards to him that her fierceness came out.

She saw that it did the trick when Ally's face hardened and she let out a shaky then nodded.

Eric wanted with everything he was to let his feral grin of pleasure to show. Fucking finally she was going to give him something to work with. Instead he just gave his Leader Eric grunt of approval and ran a hand through his hair, which was nowhere near the perfection it normally was.

"We don't have to do that right now. We will do that in the morning. Kira why don't you help Ally gather what they will need for the weekend and I can have Zeke and Four pick up anything else they might need. It's is late and we all need to get back to sleep." His tiredness was seeping into his tone there at the end but he didn't care.

With a nod Ally got up and moved to get Nix ready and then start gathering things. Before Kira moved off to help though she went to Eric and wrapped her arms around his waist then kissed him deeply.

When they pulled back she smiled tiredly at him too. "Thank you Eric."

Eric tightened his arms around her and kissed her forehead. "You're welcome. Let's get back home and to bed baby."

With a nod Kira moved to hurry to do just that. As always anytime she thought of the word home along with Eric she couldn't help the feeling of completeness she had. It was getting harder to tell herself that they were still nothing but friends with benefits. Especially when she had stopped correcting people that worked under her or their friends when they referred to them as being more.

They were more it was just putting a title or label on it that had Kira scared as shit. She felt that if she did, or she said the words of how she was feeling out loud then something terrible would happen to destroy it all.

She was losing the battle with herself to keep it all in and deny it though. Every day it got harder. Maybe it was time to stop fighting that so hard.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Here is the Soundtrack to the Chapters. The main one for sure inspired Kira's feelings in general.**

 **Gabrielle Alpin 'Please Don't Say You Love Me', Kat Dahlia 'I Think I'm In Love', One Republic 'Let's Hurt Tonight'**

 **Chapter 10**

Kira stood outside of Max's office and chewed on her lip, just staring at the door for a few more minutes. She needed to ask a favor and advice and she knew Max and Daria would be the ones to give her both.

It was kind of a big step for her though and she was nervous. Extremely nervous. She sat scolding herself just staring at the door until it opened and Max looked at her with a quirked eyebrow and lips twitching in amusement.

"Zeke called from Control and said he was worried you had slipped into some kind of coma you have been standing outside of my door so long. Get in here Kira." Max said and took a hold of the young woman's arm trying to hold back laughter at her almost petrified look.

He led her over to the small sitting area and pushed into the sofa near Daria then moved to grab her a glass of something to help. When he handed it to her she seemed to snap out of whatever it was that had her dazed and sighed.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to worry anyone I guess I was just lost in thought." Kira said after taking a gulp of the amber liquid he has so graciously provided her.

Daria chuckled and shook her head. "What's going on Kira? You are normally almost unflappable."

Max nodded, his forehead furrowed in worry.

Kira sighed. "It isn't anything bad but it is something I am trying to deal with. I need to ask you guys for advice but also a favor."

Max nods and motions for her to go ahead. "Start with whatever you want first."

Kira bites her bottom lip in thought. "I guess the advice because that might affect the favor." She stops and takes a breath. "So Daria knows this because she had to sign off on the paperwork. I am sure you know too since she does. When Ally gave birth to Nix I was there. I think deep down even then she knew that Ben was never going to be there for him. Because of this...she listed me as her guardian with full legal rights to Nix should anything happen to her."

Max and Daria shared looks and had a feeling where this was going but needed to make sure. "You hadn't told Eric that yet have you?"

Kira shakes her head with a frown. "He isn't handling how close I am to them well anyways. Finding out I will basically become his Mother but not only that…"

Max sighs and runs a hand over his face and nods. "That unless something happens to allow for Ben to be legally removed from being a co-parent you will have to co-parent with him."

Kira's eyes are pained and she nods. "I couldn't tell him at first because I convinced myself that it shouldn't matter and it wasn't like there was a big chance of anything happening. Then it was because of how I see he doesn't like the situation at all. Anytime Nix is around or it is brought up, we either fight or there is this tension. I don't like hurting him but I don't know why it is hurting him. Then there is the fact that this goes beyond just me wanting to help her because of Ben. He was a factor at the beginning but I love them. I have fallen in love with Nix as much as I love Ava and I want to be there for them just as much as the rest of my family."

Daria sighs and tilts her head in thought. It might be best if Max tried to talk to Eric about it. Tried to find out why he has a hard time with it. "Has Eric said anything about why it upsets him?"

Kira shrugs. "We talked about it and he said he can't explain why it bothers him. That he knows it is important to me and he would try. I know he does and I lo…" She pauses at that and with a choking sound and frowns then huffs with a scowl. "I lo…" She throws her hands up in the air huffing when it happens again.

Max bites his lip, lifts his glass and drinks to hide the laugh that is wanting to come out at Kira's obvious issues in being able to say aloud she loves Eric. It isn't like everyone doesn't know and see it and are just waiting for them to get their heads outta their asses.

Daria scowls at her husband and looks to Kira with a soft smile. "It's ok Kira. We see it and I get it. Are you wanting to know the best way to tell him or if you should?"

Kira can only nod, still thoroughly upset with her inability to vocally say it even to someone else other than Eric. This is going to be harder than she thought if that was the case.

Max frowns in thought then nods. "I wouldn't tell him right now. Maybe give him some time to figure out why it bothers him. Maybe I can even talk to him about it if he is willing. We all know Ben isn't involved with Nix especially now that we were able to get him posted to the Fence after that incident a few weeks ago. Maybe it will get easier for him or even he can accept it more now that Ben is removed from the picture. He might be able to open up about it then."

Kira sighs and nods. "I have never lied to Eric. We have always been able to tell each other everything good and bad. This isn't lying but it feels damn close to it."

Daria pats her hand and shakes her head. "It feels that way because it is so important to you. Just like some people aren't ready to say certain things some might not be ready to hear them. It is ok to wait until the time is right."

Daria was trying reassure her that she shouldn't let anyone be pressuring her to tell Eric yet or make that move.

Kira smirked and chuckled as she shook her head. "Is it that obvious? Don't answer that I already know it is. No one is pressuring me, not even Eric. Especially Eric and that is the problem. He is being so fucking patient and understanding about it. More and more though I am fighting against myself and I am just tired of fighting it. I have gotten to the point where I don't see the purpose really of fighting so hard because I am just hurting myself more."

Max internally is gleeful and he knows Daria is too no matter her calm and understanding face right now. She must be tap dancing inside at the moment. "So what is the favor you needed Kira?" He schools his voice to be even.

"I would like to arrange for a getaway for Eric and I but I want it to be a surprise. I worked something out with Johana for where we can go. All of the place, supplies and little things I have already lined up. What I need is to ask for the weekend free for us. I want to make sure that anything that might come up would be covered obviously or neither of us would be able to enjoy it if we were worried about if we are needed. Then I would like your help in tricking him to get him there in the first place. Oh and transport there too because taking the train in the cold and then hiking would for sure kill the mood." Kira added that last part a little cheekily.

The elder dauntless laughed at that but nodded their agreement enthusiastically. For the next hour they went over the plans, who could cover their emergencies and instructions for the people covering them, suggestions and then just visiting.

When Kira left the two remaining made sure she was gone and moved past their door before they let out their own little whoops of excitement then set to work with smug smiles.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Eric was driving the humvee with a bit of a scowl on his face as he followed the navigation system to the place Kira had put in. He couldn't believe their weekend was going to have to be spend doing this shit. Yeah he gets to be with Kira but it will be stuck doing shit repairs and installs of the new wind turbine and solar power system Kira had developed, patented and started to produce.

He was proud as shit for and of her but he could think of a much better way to show her that other than being stuck out in the middle of Tree Hugger territory over their precious off time doing manual labor. They hadn't even been able to at least enjoy the start of their Friday night and instead had left in the afternoon so they could get to the place before dark.

With a sigh he looked over to Kira who was absorbed in something on her tablet. "So how did we get hoodwinked into this instead of having your head tech doing this shit again?"

Kira's lips twitched as she typed in her thanks to Johana for making sure that everything was in place then sent it and put her tablet away. She looked over to Eric and put on a look of shared disappointment. "Because even though Sean is a genius there are just too many adjustments or corrections that I would need to make personally and it can only be done onsite. I did say you didn't have to come wit…"

Eric scowled at her with a huff and grabbed her hand. "Like I am going to allow not seeing you all weekend Kira. Even if it is spent being some grease jockey out in the middle of god knows where. So you can cut that out right now. There was no way I wasn't going to be coming."

Which is what she had counted on in the first place. She thought that smugly to herself. She sighed and smiled at him, squeezing his hand. "Thank you Eric. You being here with me means more than you know."

Eric smiled back and sighed. "We at least we got Hestia and Horace to make us some good things to take with us. That part should at least be pleasant for us and one less thing for us to worry about. Maybe we can get everything done and be back to enjoy some of the weekend at home."

Kira shrugs and smiles. "Maybe. We can make sure to work our hardest and see what comes of it."

Eric chuckles. "Together baby I am sure we could knock this shit out quickly if we put our minds to it. We make a hell of a team Kira."

In more ways then one, he thinks and doesn't bother to hide his smirk. His eyebrow quirks though when he looks at Kira because she is looking decidedly smug about something and is even humming as she looks out the window.

"We do, don't we?" Kira finally says, still looking out the window.

Eric shakes his head with a smile and hums his own agreement. "We always did baby." He murmurs.

They hold hands as they finish the drive to the location they are headed. Eric didn't really know what to expect. The place they were supposed to be setting up had been remodeled. He knew it was an Amity cabin and he had imagined that there would be huge round logs with barely any windows and shabby or run down. Especially since it it was all the way up towards the mountain part of the Amity sector.

When they pulled up though his eyebrow for sure went into his hairline. He should have known though because Kira had been working on a new type of home with Amity. He just hadn't known they would be going to it.

It is still a log and stone home but instead of the round logs, it seems to be made of the straight and more efficiently made long flat timber. It also was full of windows. It was on a huge wooden stilt foundation on part of it because it was over a fast moving river. That made sense because it would be running on hydropower as one of the sources. It was a modern version of a log cabin and he was already kind of in love with it. There was gravel that led all the way to what was half a barn and half a covered area for vehicles or carts. He pulled into that with a smile and looking over to Kira.

She was for sure looking really smug as shit. "We're working on that new type of house you created for Amity?"

Kira can't help the smile and gods help her is she bouncing in her seat? "That is the new house I created. Come on let's go check it out."

She very carefully avoided saying they would be working on it. Eric matched her grin and got out. He grabbed their bags while she grabbed the big box Hestia had met them at the gate with. He walked behind her up the path, over the gurgle of the water under the bridge they were on and then finally to the porch.

Apparently it was left open for them as she just had to prop the box on her hip to free her hand up and open the door. It opened up into what was a stunning open concept modern version of a log cabin. The floor was a darker wood while the walls were a combination of the planked timber but also plaster. The huge fireplace was round riverbed stone. The kitchen wasn't huge but was open and modern. It was also already fully powered which had him wondering what was up.

He set the bags down and moved to help he start putting the things from the box up into the refrigerator. "The places looks amazing Kira. I know I saw the design plans and blueprints but I guess I didn't think it would look this modern really."

Kira smiles at him and shrugs. "You know that Max and Daria want to see about updating all the Dauntless homes that are in our sector closer to the forest and cliffs like this. This is the trial run for the design in general."

"Really? Babe that's amazing. I didn't know that but we had thrown the idea out there when we saw the plans. No one has used those homes in forever though so it wasn't a real thought." Eric said frowning as he put the last of the food up for them.

Kira was almost nervous and knew she needed to get Eric out of the house to set up the next part. She frowned and chewed her lip, looking around. "Oh. Eric would you mind going to the truck and getting the last two boxes. I'll take our bags to the room and we can get settled in after you get back."

Eric shrugs and smiles before he pulls her to him for a small kiss. "Well I guess it won't be as bad as I thought. I was for sure the place was going to be a shithole. I can deal with being stuck with you here for the weekend even if we will be working."

"I am glad you might enjoy yourself a little. We will see what we can do to make that even better." Kira smirked at him and then pushed him to the door.

He laughed as he walked out and as soon as she heard his steps leave the porch she whirled and got to work. Johana had set the bedroom up for her. Kira had been blushing when she had put in her requests but the Amity Leader had just laughed at her and patted her cheek saying she would make sure it was perfect.

She kept her word. It was perfect. Now all she needed to do was get changed and put the finishing touches quickly.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Going to be a little evil here and leave it on a bit of a cliffhanger in a not really cliffhanger but kind of is way. Sorry had a bout of insomnia and got the next two chapters finished but only this one edited...now my melatonin is kicking in and I am going to crash. I am sure I will be back at it in a few hours. Anyways I hope you enjoy. It took me a while to write this in a way that I didn't feel the need to take a steel brush to mind for. And by that I mean making it into a complete cliched sap fest. Sorry I just apparently am not very romantic. Hopefully this is believable! :D**

 **Soundtrack to the Chapter list for this one: Nina June 'For Love' Seriously obsessed with that song, Red 'Your Again', Tove Lo 'Thousand Miles', Gabriele Alpin 'Please Don't Say You Love Me', One Republic 'Let's Hurt Tonight', X Ambassadors 'Unsteady' and Gorgeous, and because I am weird apparently G Easy 'Let's Get Lost'**

 **Chapter 11**

Eric walked back up to the house with the two boxes stacked on top of each other. He went to put down the boxes so he could open the door when he noticed something hanging from the door.

With a frown he pulled it from the handle and noticed it was an envelope with his name on it. He opened it and pulled out a picture that had his heart speeding up. Because the picture was of Kira and him just after she went to live with them. It was one his mother had taken of them without them knowing. They had been watching movies on the couch and had fallen asleep sitting up but at some point he had pulled her to him and she had wrapped her arms around his waist. They had slept like that, with her head on his chest and his arms around her. It was truly the first time he had known his feelings had changed for her from protective surrogate big brother and friend to wanting more.

His heart was speeding up because of the words on the other side of the picture.

' _In the end you always you go back to the people that were there in the beginning.' This is the memory of the beginning for me. Follow the path of memories…._

The boxes were forgotten as he opened the door. Eric's heart was still beating almost out of his chest and he wanted to scowl at himself because here he was a fucking grown man. A trained soldier and his palms were as sweaty as when he first thought about this same woman when they were both still kids. Thought about her and kissing for the first time. He felt like that 13 year boy again.

The next picture was of them again. He found it closer to the kitchen in the walkway that led to what he assumed was a bedroom. He could see two more envelops on the ground like the one in his hand and the one from the door.

This picture was before he had finally admitted his feelings. Before that dance he had barged into and dragged her out of because he couldn't stand the thought of her even dancing with another guy.

In this one he was about 16 and she was 15. He remembered the day it was taken because Shay had been taking pictures of all the friends as they had decided to take their study projects to the courtyard. They had almost made a picnic of it with baskets of food and drinks, blankets and everyone all spread out either reading books or working on laptops.

Eric and Kira had decided to take a break and found that someone had brought a chess set. So they had set it up and then laid across from each other on their stomachs. They had been laughing and talking as they played. Shay had gotten the picture just as Eric had moved closer to reach over the board and tuck some of Kira's hair behind her ear. He hadn't seen this picture in a very long time. It had disappeared after everything had happened and he had been sure Kira had taken it to destroy it.

Because there was no way someone that saw that picture didn't see the love they had for each other as they looked into each other's eyes with the smiles on their lips.

She had kept it though. Gods this made him happier than he could say because maybe it meant she could heal from the shit he did to her. Taking a breath he turned the picture over to read the words he knew he would find there.

' _I guess when you're young, you just believe there'll be many people with whom you'll connect with. Later in life, you realize it only happens a few times.' For me it was always you Eric. Then and now there is no one I connect with like I have with you._

He was starting to see where this was leading. It wasn't just about doing something nice and romantic for him. It was going beyond that and it was also such a Kira thing to do. He couldn't help the smile on his face or the fact that his breathing was a little bit stuttered as he moved to the next envelope.

This had a picture from just after they had finally admitted their feelings for each other. He was 17 and she was 16. This one they had taken of themselves with a tablet phone. They were laying down in their secret spot and had been facing each other. He had made her take pictures of themselves and this was another that had gone missing. The others had been silly or of them with their foreheads pressed together. This one had their lips just above each others and had captured the restrained passion they felt for each other.

He let his fingers move over the picture, his forehead furrowed in trying to calm himself. He slowly turned the picture over for the words on this one.

' _I was playing back a thousand memories baby, thinking about everything we've been through.' Good and bad Eric, all the best and worst memories are with you. I realized that I would take a thousand more of the worst if it meant I could make one more of the best with you again._

He couldn't even take time to reflect because he was already moving to the next one. His heart was beating as fast as The Pit in the middle of a raging party.

He practically tore the next envelope open and almost fell to his knees because she had kept them fucking all. All those moments he had cursed himself for losing when did what he did. The evidence of them all had gone just as surely as she did from his life.

It was of them again in their secret spot and this picture was one no one had ever seen but the two of them. He had been stunned when she had suggested it at all because of how intimate it had been.

The night they had planned to come together Kira had talked him into taking a picture. It wasn't racy or dirty but it did capture the beginning of them coming together. It had started out innocent. They had wanted a picture of them facing each other and looking into each others eyes with the full moon in the background.

So they had set up the camera they had borrowed from his Mom on the tripod she had. They had programmed it to take a bunch of frames because there were some pictures they had seen in the archives where if the shutter was left open and the couples moved just slightly it created tracers or cool effects.

Kira had settled herself in his lap, her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck. His arms had been around her waist and they had sat there, holding each other's eyes. Until that night they hadn't said the words they loved each other. Just that they wanted each other and to be more.

She had said it first. That night as they looked at each other and holding one another close, she had smiled softly and said she loved him. He could still remember the feeling that radiated through him at hearing her say it and seeing it in her eyes. He had barely gotten his own words out before they were both crashing their lips together.

The picture though was of them when they had come up for air. Their shirts had been lost during all of that and they had paused long enough for the picture to be captured. The two of them entwined and pressing their foreheads together. The full moon seeming to reflect on the bare skin of their bodies and making them almost glow.

It had been the only picture out the hundred that were set to take that was clear but they had both loved it. He hadn't thought to ask for a copy because he hadn't thought there was a need. It was a private picture that they both decided to keep but only take out years later to reflect on that night.

Of all the pictures he believed would for sure be destroyed, this had been at the top of the list. How could he not expect her to want to get rid of the memory of the night they had professed their love for each other and then lost their innocence together in an ultimate act of love? She hadn't though and it was blowing him away completely.

He was almost afraid to turn over the picture and read the words there but he took a breath and did so.

" _I'll be looking for you. Will, every moment, every single moment. And when we do find each other again, we'll cling together so tight that nothing and no one'll ever tear us apart. Every atom of me and every atom of you …. We'll live in birds and flowers and dragonflies and pine trees and in clouds and in those little specks of light you see floating in sunbeams… And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won't be able to take one, they'll have to take two, one of you and one of me, we'll be joined so tight…" [Phillip Pullman, His Darth Materials Trilogy] - Every single moment I looked for you Eric. We joined in this moment and I was never able to break apart from you. You held me then as you hold me now, as I hold you. With every atom and fiber of my being I cling to you._

One more envelop is waiting at the door and he whips it off and rips it open. It is a picture he didn't know even existed but then again he hadn't noticed much but Kira that night.

Someone had taken a picture of Kira in his lap that night on the roof. Again they were looking into each other's eyes and it captured his love but her struggle. He could make out in her eyes the struggle she must have been feeling in that moment on whether to take that leap and risk losing him again or fighting it.

He turned over the picture and realized she couldn't have chosen a better picture for the sentiment she was trying to reach.

' _Sometimes you heart needs more time to accept what your mind already knows.' You have given me the time to accept what both have always known. Time to be able to give you the words that I couldn't….until now…._

He was outside of the door. She could hear his breathing and she knew he would be walking in soon. She tried not to bolt for the bathroom, to let her knees shake in nervousness or let the butterflies get to her.

She was standing by the tall windows that had a perfect view of the mountains and lake in the background. She had thought of laying on the bed, in fact it was suggested she do so being dressed as she was. She just couldn't do that. So she stood by the windows with the sun setting behind her and waited for him to come into the room.

She could see his outline and turned to face looking out to try and give her a moment to breathe and steel herself. To say the words she is bursting to say and he deserves to hear.

She hears his intake of breath and knows it is now or never.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Sorry it took so long to get you guys off the cliffhanger there. Yesterday was one for the books. Just an FYI to anyone that has gas stoves. Make sure your knobs to suddenly or mysteriously go to the 'release the gas' setting. Nothing like your apartment being swarmed by firemen because your place is filled with gas. It is all good and am all safe but was pretty exhausted after the ordeal. Now off of the heavy crap in life and onto the fluff and fun. Hope you enjoy the chapter because it took me a bit to write.**

 **Soundtrack to the chapter: Atticcus Fault 'Soundtrack', Three Days Grace 'Lost in You', Staind 'Tangled up in You'**

 **Chapter 12**

It takes him a moment to gather himself and walk through the door. The pictures are clutched tightly in one hand as he steps in. Eric didn't see her at first. He was taking in the room and what she had obviously arranged for before they got here.

On the end of the bed was a big tray with a bottle of what looked to be a damn fine brand and year of scotch with two glasses. Some kind of arrangement of chocolate covered items. And then something that brought a smirk and almost chuckle to his chest. Something that isn't known about Kira or even himself and a few of the leaders is they liked to smoke cigars occasionally. Especially when they were sitting around and enjoying a nice bottle of whiskey or scotch.

He had been shocked when Kira had joined the leadership program and had not only joined the group that gathered on a balcony to indulge, but had been the one to suggest it and provide the cigars. It was rare and a treat but that she had included this wasn't a shock it just fit. It fit her and them because where some women might have wine and roses, Kira stuck with who Eric and she were. They were whiskey, chocolate, cigars and yes candles.

What had his breath catching in his throat was when he finally did see her. She was standing in front of the windows in what would be a breathtaking view if it weren't for the fact that she put that to shame.

Her back was to him but even that was stunning.

She was wearing lingerie in a bra, pantie, garter and thigh high set. The color was a cream but it had black lace design and embroidery over all the pieces. It was stunning on her but in this setting and with everything that had led up to it so far it became even more breathtaking.

She must have heard him because she turned slowly to face him. He could already see the flushed skin from embarrassment as she chewed on her bottom lip a little and met his eyes.

Kira smiled nervously at Eric and took a breath. He still hadn't said anything or moved any further into the room. She began to worry then that maybe it was too much. Maybe it was too soon or even maybe she misunderstood things. All the doubts she had no clue were there started to rush forward but she was desperate to say something so she just plucked one of them and asked it in a soft and worried voice.

"Is it….is it too much? Or too silly?"

Is it too much or silly? Did she really ask that? Of course she did because he can see her doubting herself and this right at this moment. With a frown he gently tosses the things in his hand onto the bed and then moves quickly to her.

She gasps as he pulls her to him and claims her mouth in a kiss. Whatever doubts she had disappear as her hands clutch to his jacket and pulls him closer, returning the kiss hungrily.

Kira pushes his jacket off of his shoulders while he works his boots off with one foot and then the other. She starts to walk them backwards to the bed, guiding his shirt up then off of him.

They have to break apart for this and they are both left gasping. Eric moves his hands to the side of her face and smiles. "It's perfect Kira. Gods do you know how beautiful you are baby? You take my breath away with or without all of this."

With a small smile and a sigh Kira leans forward then places a soft kiss to his lips before she pulls back and holds his eyes.

She moves her own hand to the side of his face. "I love you Eric. I never stopped loving you but somehow it has gotten deeper. I love you more than I thought possible."

It felt like a weight was lifted from her that she didn't know she was carrying around. Her heart burst from just being able to admit that but his smile afterwards made it feel like it could outshine the sun.

He pressed his forehead to hers and breathed in. "I love you so much Kira. I never stopped either baby. I felt like some part of me was gone until you truly came back to me."

Kira nods, still smiling. "It still scares me Eric. This and us still scares me but I couldn't keep fighting myself. I needed to tell you and you deserved to hear it. I know you were waiting until I was ready."

"I would have waited forever if you needed me to Kira. Coming from me that is saying something because I have no patience for pretty much anything. But you baby I would wait for because you are worth it."

She pressed her lips to his in the slightest and with a smile nipped his bottom lip with her teeth. "You don't have to wait anymore Eric." She whispered softly before they resumed the kiss that had been interrupted.

It was almost like a role reversal from what had been occurring when they had become intimate again. From the beginning Kira had been impatient or afraid for it to be gentle because she was afraid to feel too much. While Eric had tried to take his time and not rush, trying to get her to feel what she once did before.

Now he was impatient to be inside of her. As if that would finally complete their total reunion. Kira was for once content to take her time if that was the way he wanted it. In the end it was a combination of the two.

At first he couldn't stop running his hands over her. He had lifted her up and laid her on the bed after she had undone his pants and he stepped out of them. She was beautiful laying there dressed in the sexiest thing he had ever seen but it was her eyes and smile that held him.

It was the pure openness that they both felt again. He moved his body next to hers and had started to softly kiss her while his hands gently began to run over her.

Kira arched under his touch, his hands seemed to pull her this way or that just with the gentle caress he was using on her. Her own hands began to run over his as well but she wasn't trying to push him like she had done so often.

She used her nails to graze over his chest, back and then down to his hips. Slowly she ran them under the elastic band of his briefs. He was smiling a little but let her take her time and teased him. All it took was a brush of her fingers in the lightest touch for his control to break. It was like a dam had been opened and the next he knew his briefs were off and he was hurriedly moving the cloth of her panties to the side then entering her.

He swallowed her cry of pleasure as he claimed her mouth with his own groan. Her legs wrapped around his waist and the material from the silken stockings whispered against his hips with each thrust he made and every time she moved her hips along with him.

Her hands moved to the back of his head and when the broke from the kiss gasping she held his eyes.

"Say it again Kira." Eric said in a voice panting with the force of his thrusts into her. Which were hard and fast.

Every thrust into her felt like it was bringing them closer to completing something that had been missing from them both for too long. He could feel it so deep within her not only physically but emotionally too.

"I love you Eric." She barely is able to grunt out just from the force of their coming together.

Eric closed his eyes in the pleasure of her around him, they were both almost there. He could feel it in the way her muscles were twitching around him but she wasn't making it a contest of wills. They were both holding out to enjoy each other.

He groaned as he reached closer to his release. "I love you Kira." He got out before he claimed her mouth again.

They both understood that they needed to release together. His hand slipped between them and stroked her after moving the panties over more. She began to really work every muscle she had to add to his pleasure.

They couldn't break apart from the kiss or each other as the need to be connected was too strong. Soon though their bodies were unraveling underneath each other as they found their release.

They lay panting into each other's mouths, hands running over each other lightly as the trembles subsided. Until finally he untangled from her and lay beside her. They kept sharing kisses until he pulled away and looked down on her, propped up on an elbow beside her, with a smile.

"You kept them all Kira." His voice was full of wonder and happiness.

Kira sighed and let him pull her closer to him so that she was now laying with her head on his chest. He had moved them up to recline on the pillows since they had just fell onto the bed laying sideways earlier.

"I couldn't tear them up like I think I had planned to at first. I needed to know they existed but I couldn't bare seeing them. So I locked them away. I didn't take them out again until I was planning this." Kira shrugged slightly.

Eric sighed and nodded. "You locked them up along with your heart Kira. I get it. I am just…." His voice broke and he pulled her closer so he could look into her eyes "...I am just so fucking happy you can forgive me Kira. That you can love me again and let me love you."

"Like I said Eric I never stopped loving you. I just stopped allowing myself to think about it or admitting it to myself."

He kissed her then but didn't turn it into more than that, instead he just gathered her to him and they held each other. Until their stomachs reminded them they had basically missed lunch and dinner time was already on them.

He wouldn't let her change but let her put on a robe as they went to the kitchen and took out the food that was already made up for them. They also went back to the room and took full advantage of the scotch, vid screen setup on the wall over the fireplace, the fireplace and relaxing into each other.

Later after a few glasses of the scotch and the food they ate was settled, Eric finally let her change. Only after he slowly took off each piece with his hands, teeth or both before taking her again but this time he took his time with it.

The weekend was amazing and not just because she was able to finally tell him how she felt. It was amazing because they were able to relax without being constantly occupied with friends or work. Even when they were at home together on weekends they both ended up in the office doing something for work. Or friends dropped by with every good intention but sometimes they just needed to be with each other and no one else. To finally have that for the first time since the got back together was what made the weekend amazing.

Even when she showed him the advancements she made on the solar and wind power devices or some of the other features she put into the house it wasn't really working. At least by their standards it wasn't because they enjoyed talking about that stuff with each other.

Sunday rolled around and Eric would have never thought back on Friday when they had been driving in that he would be loathe to leave when it was time. He knew they had to get back to reality but he hated to. They both knew that it was going to get even crazier with work. The weather was going to get nasty and they had so much to get done before the real snow set in.

One thing that was on Eric's mind when they left that he was mulling over was how soon was too soon. She had finally admitted that she loved him and during other talks as they held each other she admitted that she knew they were more too. She still didn't define it and he didn't push that. It was enough that she knew they were together and not just friends with benefits….for now.

There was a box he had buried in his clothes in the dresser of their closet that he knew he was wanting to present to her. He just didn't know when the time for that would be.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: No long note. Happy saturday everyone! This brought to you by lots of coffee, the smells of fresh baked goodies, windows being thrown open to let in a nice cold breeze, comfy socks, and the smooth sounds of Van Morrison! Among others. So without further ado here is your Soundtrack to the Chapter and then the chapter. Happy reading...maybe (evil grin)**

 **Atticus Fault 'Too Late' 'Maybe', Van Morrison 'Into the Mystic', Plumb 'Don't Deserve You', M83 'I Need You'**

 **Chapter 13**

"So how are things going?" Shay asks as she sits in the chair on the opposite side of Kira's desk with her box of lunch open. Tris has made another spot for herself at the desk too so they could all have lunch together since everyone has all been swamped with work and getting the compound ready for the freeze and snow that was finally setting in.

Kira took a bite of her grilled salmon and rice that Tris had thoughtfully went and picked up from Hestia's cafe and sighed blissfully as she chewed then swallowed before she answered.

"Busy as hell. I would think you would know that Shay because you are either right there with me or running all over the city trying to get the orders filled." Kira frowned in thought and guilt over making her friend be her errand girl.

"First of all, stop right now Kira. I know you are doing that whole guilt trip on yourself about how much work you think I am doing. Remember I am always home before dinner and get to spend more time with Ava now than I did before when I was working in Control. Second, I meant with you and Eric silly. How are things going since your getaway last month?"

Kira can't help the slow smile that spread across her face at that question. Things were good, really good. She sighed and shrugged. "Things are really good. I mean of course I know that we aren't just friends with benefits and really never were. We still haven't labeled it and I am ok with that guys. I want it that way right now because I am still nervous about a few things."

Kira takes a few more bites and sees Tris and Shay exchanging looks and frowns before Tris takes a breath and tilts her head. "Kira I found out from Daria about the whole you being the appointed guardian for Nix. We all know how much you love him and we all see both Ally and Nix as family now too. We also know that Eric hasn't really ever come to accept it. Is that what you are nervous about?"

She nods and frowns. "I wanted to tell him when it happened but we got into such a huge fight after he found out I was there with her for the delivery. Then I just convinced myself that it wouldn't matter anyways because it is just a precaution. Now I don't know how to tell him because I felt like I have lied to him somehow this whole time."

Shay scoffs and shakes her head. "If he wasn't being such a stubborn ass about this then maybe it would be easier for you to talk about it. I wish I could tell you why he is being the way he is about it. It shouldn't matter about Ben because it isn't like you would ever go back to him even if you had to be involved with him should the worse happen."

"What else are you nervous about Kira?" Tris asks as she eats more of her own lunch.

Kira takes a minute to try and compose her thoughts as they eat. The great thing about Shay and Tris is they all three do this and realize it when one of the girls needs time to think before they speak.

Finally she shrugs and looks to them. "I guess I am scared of wanting more and jinxing what we have. Like if we push it then something is going to happen. It just seems to be the way my life is Shay, at least it feels that way to me. When something really good happens or I am happy finally then something comes and takes it away."

Shay exchanges sad smiles with Kira. She knows some of what that is like. She did lose her father but what no one besides her, Eric and Kira knew was that once she had thought Chase would be to her what Eric was to her. Chase had even said as much to her as well. Before he was taken from them he had shyly admitted to Shay that he didn't see her as a brother would. They never kissed or anything like that but the possibility and hope of it had been there for both of them.

She had went through something of the same thing Kira was going through now when she met and fell in love with Emmett. She hadn't wanted to do anything about it at first but he had been so persistent. She had fought herself much like Kira had with her feelings for Eric. In the end it was Kira who had oddly enough told her that she wasn't honoring Chase by denying herself the chance to live and love again.

Smiling at that thought Shay looked to Kira and tilted her head. "As you once told me Kira. You aren't honoring your parents or Chase by denying yourself the chance to live and love again. There is always the risk for us being Dauntless that it will be taken away. We accept this and that is why we live life as fully as we can. Don't let the past dictate to you anymore Kira. You, out of anyone I know, deserve to be happy. You just have to let yourself be." Shay reaches across the table and places her hand on her sister's.

They share smiles before Kira nods with a sigh then looks over to Tris. "So Tris. I am told that a certain leader and her fiance have set the date. Fucking finally!"

The girls all laugh at that. Tris blushes though and shakes her head. "You would think it would have been Four that was dragging his heels on this but it was me. Yes we set the date finally. Chris is way too excited about this and it is scary. I am going to need both of your help in reigning her in."

Kira laughs after she swallows her bite. "We could always threaten her with Eric again. He told me about him taking her aside for my leadership party."

Shay smirks and nods. "He scared the shit out of her. Tris, do you remember when he made her fight him when she gave up a bout in Academy? She said it scared her worse than that because he was so deadly calm about it and because it was in regards to Kira. She said he is even more scary when it comes to her than anything she has ever seen."

Tris bites her lip and tries not to laugh at Kira's blush and scowl. Tris snorts at her. "Don't even Kira. You are just as bad when it comes to him. Don't think I don't remember that fight you got into during your own Academy time."

Shay frown and looks to Tris. "What is this? I didn't know about anything like that."

Kira sighs and rubs the back of her neck. "Because it wasn't put on my record. Max and Daria decided to strike it because of what all happened. Tris you shouldn't have brought that up. There was a reason Max knew no one should know about it."

Shay's face turned dark. "Kira tell me now."

Kira motioned to Shay but was looking at Tris. "Case in point. I will tell you Shay but you cannot tell Eric. Promise? Because it is over and done with."

Shay's lips thinned but she took a breath. "I promise to reserve judgment until I have heard the story."

Tris casts an apologetic look to Kira. "Do you remember Landon and Jared? Well they had issues with Eric and his methods of teaching but apparently Jared remembered Eric and I from Erudite."

Shay blanches and looks white. "Jared Pezeki? Kira he had this major thing for you…"

Kira's lips thin and she nods. "I know and I always turned him down. That didn't sit well with him. Anyways they were talking crap about him and tearing him down to some of the other cadets. I tried to keep it cool so I walked away. It took everything I had but I did. Later that night though Jared started in with his normal hitting on me routine but then I guess since it was in his mind about Eric and why we broke up he threw that out there. I was already livid and it just set me off. We ended up fighting. It got bad but when he had me pinned he went from trying to fight me to something else. Amar and Max had been called, well Amar had been called but Max was with him and they both came with a few guards and caught him in the act of trying. He didn't get anywhere Shay, so calm down. He probably is still wishing to this day he had never went that route with me because I maimed him. Because of what he was attempting at the end they decided to wipe it from the record."

"How did Eric never hear about this or me for that matter?" Shay was almost shouting now.

"Because I didn't want you upset and because I didn't want Eric to know. He was made factionless by the way. No one ever knew what happened to him but he had a choice; he could walk away factionless or I could press charges and he be tried and most likely executed." Kira tried to calm her friend who was breathing hard and looked exactly like her brother before he decided he needed to fight something.

Tris cleared her throat. "It was also sealed so she couldn't have told you Shay. She would have gotten in trouble if she had."

Shay lets out a hiss of a breath and tries to calm herself down. Sometimes it was so hard to handle that Kira couldn't tell her everything. She hated that Eric and her were so close at times and then she was so thankful for it. It had made her so angry and hate Eric after he did what he did because Kira closed herself off after it.

Sighing she rubbed a hand over her face and smiled sadly at Kira. "I don't think I ever told you Kira but I was always kind of jealous of you and Eric. You were always able to open up to him more than me after everything with our parents and Chase. Then when you didn't have it anymore I hated that and him. I get it now though Kira. Emmett and I, he has become my best friend in a way that is completely different from you and I or even with Tris."

Kira frowns and looks down. "I am sorry Shay. I didn't mean to hurt you by it…"

Shay interrupts her by shaking her head and patting her hand. "When I found Emmett I understood because falling in love with him opened a part of my heart that was willing to share all of me. I think it is supposed to be that way you know. The people that we fall in love with get to see all of us. All of those little places we hide from even our closest friends. It made us stronger. So I get it and I am just glad you have that again. Can you promise me something Kira?"

Kira tilts her head and smiles at her best friend and sister. "I can try Shay."

Shay smiles and nods. "Promise that you will remember that no matter what happens you are beautiful inside and out. You don't have to be perfect all the time or even strong all the time either. When you and Eric fight, because you two will it is just the way you two are built, remember that at the end of the day you are each other's best and worst parts. Just like Emmett and I are."

Tris nods and smiles. "Four and I too. It took forever for Four to open those parts of himself that he thought were too ugly for me to see because of his childhood. I was just as bad though because I thought if I let him see any of that in me I would be weaker in his eyes. Once we opened those parts of ourselves up though everything changed for us. Oh we still fight because he can be such a stubborn ass and I get mule headed too. I have gone days without talking to him because I am afraid I will say something in a temper. We give each other emotional space even when we can't bare to be apart physically."

Kira frowns at that and shakes her head. "I don't get that last part. What does that mean?"

Tris shrugs with a smile and laugh. "We can both be so mad at each other that you would think it would be better for one of us to sleep on the couch or wouldn't want to be in the same room. It is kind of the opposite for us. We can be so angry at each other, or just not wanting to talk at all but we couldn't fathom sleeping away from each other or not sitting beside each other on the couch."

Shay and Kira nod thoughtfully. "I can understand that I think. It is the reassuring that even though you are dealing with whatever it is you still love and want each other." Kira says softly.

Tris grins with a smile. "Exactly. Eric might get angry when you do end up telling him Kira. He might be livid but as long as you remember that you can be angry and hurt but still love each other and will make it through then you should be fine. Tell him when you are ready to, not when you think you should."

Kira sighs deeply, feeling better for having opened up to her friends about this. "Thanks guys. I have felt like this ax has been hanging over my head."

Shay nods to her food and smiles. "We should eat. I have to get a list together from the workshop for the surplus we are going to be getting from Erudite this week and you two have to prepare for that meeting about Academy this year."

Kira groans and shakes her head while Tris laughs. "Welcome to Leadership Kira. Where the bullshit never ends."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Eric woke to the smell of coffee and breakfast cooking and blearily opened an eye, groaning as he stretched. It was way too early for getting up but Kira and he had decided to try and get some paperwork done early. Also they were going to see the group heading off to Erudite to pick up the next batch of supplies before all of Leadership and the Academy Lead Instructors met for finalizing the plans for the year.

Kira had just made up a cup of coffee for Eric and was going to leave it on the table beside his bed for when he woke up when he stumbled from the bedroom looking groggy but still sexy as hell.

He had stubble going on and his normally perfectly styled hair was messy. The curls he normally styled out of the hair he kept longer at the top were making it go all over the place. If she wasn't so tired and in need of coffee herself she would be dragging him back to the bedroom to show him how sexy she found him right now.

"Morning babe." He grumbled, rubbing his face.

"Good morning babe. I was going to bring you a cup of coffee to leave on the table for you." Her voice was a little raspy from sleep.

He went up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. "You are amazing, you know that. Coffee sounds life saving right now."

Kira smiled and shivered when he grazed his lips along her shoulders and neck that was bare in her tank top. His stubble rubbing across her skin. She felt his smirk against her skin and his chuckle in his chest before he kissed her neck and then grabbed the coffee she was holding out for him.

He leaned against the counter, sipping his coffee and still trying to wake up as she finished their breakfast. He frowned when he saw there was a lot more than they could eat.

He shook his head and sighed. "So how many are we being invaded by?"

Kira smirked and shrugged. "Just Shay, Emmett and Ava. I promised them I would make them a nice breakfast since they will be going out to deal with Erudite and the cold."

Eric clears his throat of the sleep and nods. "That isn't too bad then. I don't think I am in the mood to deal with the whole gang."

"They will be here in about ten minutes or so. You might want to start getting presentable. Although…." Kira finishes what she was doing and then slides her arms around his waist with a smile on her lips "...you do look incredibly sexy like this in the morning. If you think we could…"

Eric groans and pulls her to him for a kiss, the coffee cup quickly put on the counter behind him. After a minute of their tongues battling and hands wandering they break apart. "If I didn't think they would be walking through that door no matter how much time they said they were going to be here in, I would so be taking you right here woman. As it is we don't need to traumatize our niece."

His voice was husky and not all from sleep anymore. Kira laughed a little breathy and shook her head then got a wicked grin. "Then maybe at lunch we go to one of our offices and engage in some stress relief."

Eric's nostrils flared at the thought, especially knowing what their day was going to be like. "You baby are a genius and have a deal. Don't think I won't remember this either."

"I am counting on it Eric." Kira laughed and shooed him to go get ready. She was already dressed and showered so all she had to do was grab her long sleeved shirt, jacket and bag when they went to leave.

Eric winked as he picked up his coffee cup and made his way to the bathroom to get his own shower and ready for the day.

It wasn't five minutes later that Kira could hear the sound of her niece running in the corridor by their apartment, laughing and already calling their names. Her smile got wide as she went and opened the door to let them in.

Shay was following with a look of half amusement and half exasperation. Her dark blonde pixie cut hair was tousled and her clothes looked thrown on. Emmett was coming up behind her looking tired and stumbling with bags for Ava and her daycare as well as their own bags.

Kira couldn't help but laugh and scooped Ava up who started to rain kisses. Jabbering in some legible words and some that weren't.

The gist was that she wanted cereal and made a mess this morning.

"How about pancakes, eggs and fruit Ava? That sound better than cereal?" Kira tickled her niece as they all made their way in. "Coffee is ready guys, I already have cups set up for you two."

She heard moans of approval from both of them but Emmett dropped the bags and almost lunged for the coffee. "She was up and down all night. Stupid sleep regression, whatever the fuck that is. Why in the world does a toddler need to regress in sleep?" Emmett grumbled as in between gulps of coffee.

Kira took a breath and looked like she was about to launch into an explanation when Emmett groaned and held up a hand. "My mistake for asking a question of two former noses. Just don't. I wouldn't even be able to follow it at this point I am so damn tired."

Shay smirked into her own cup of coffee but didn't look much more awake. "Eric still asleep?" She finally got out after she drank at least half her cup.

Kira shook her head as she got Ava settled in her highchair and placed a plate of already cut up food for her down. "No, he should be coming out soon. Was just getting showered and all of that. He will be stalking in here for another cup of coffee soon."

"Now...need more coffee now." Eric grumbled, groomed in his normal perfection but still looking groggy as he took his cup over to the coffee pot but stopped at the squeal of Ava.

"Eric! Eric love Ava." Ava clapped happily and then held out her hands for him.

Eric broke out into a grin and went to go pick her up but Kira's eyes got wide and she stopped him. "Syrup Eric! She has syrup all over her hands. Wipe them first or proceed at your own risk."

It was amusing that both Eric and Ava turned frowns on Kira. It had Shay, Emmett and Kira all laughing at the pair as Eric's frown turned into a scowl as he started to clean Ava up before scooping her up and giving her kisses.

"Mean Aunt Kira didn't want me to give you kisses Ava. What do you think about that?" Eric playfully whispered to his niece who laughed and gave him a kiss that was sticky with syrup.

"No mean Kira." She proclaimed firmly then motioned for him to give her food. Getting the hint he sat her back in her chair and moved to clean his face.

"You didn't warn me about the face. She has it all over her face. How did that happen so fast?" Eric mumbled as he checked himself over.

Emmett sighed and drank more coffee. "It is some kind of toddler magic. One minute you have a clean well dressed toddler and a somewhat clean house, then your turn your back and it look like a tornado whipped through and destroyed it all.

Shay could only snort her agreement and the adults made their plates before sitting down to eat. Kira and Eric took places on either side of Ava and took turns in helping her to eat or just playing with her. Ava looked like she couldn't have been more in heaven and tried to give kisses often.

The little girl was the most loving they had ever seen. She didn't know what stranger meant and Eric had seen her melt the surly disposition of some of the most hardened in Dauntless. He couldn't blame them for that because she was a beautiful little soul.

She took after Emmett in coloring and hair color. With a slightly golden hue in her skin but her hair was a soft brown with the curls that ran in Emmett and Shay's family. The eyes were all Coulter in that they were grey and sparkled in her laughter.

Too soon it was time to go. Shay helped Kira to clean up breakfast and Ava's area that had bits of fruit and food stuck to everything. Then they all set out to drop Ava off with her childcare class.

After talking with Maria Pedrad a little about what the kids were going to be doing and what time Shay was expecting them to be back, the group headed out.

Kira smiled at the group already gathered by the truck. "Morning Lynn, Ally...you guys are looking rested." She laughed at their bleary eyes.

Ally shivered and shook her head but smiled at Kira. They were all bundled up for the cold even though they would be in Erudite or the warehouse that all the surplus was kept for most of the day. It was just too cold to even spend a little bit of time not bundled up.

"I wish I were rested. I can't believe I used to complain about how little sleep I got before Nix came along, now I dream about those days as if it were some fantasy."

This caused Shay and Kira to laugh but Emmett to get an almost wistful look on his face before he sighed and loaded their bags into one of the waiting Humvee. He suddenly got all business and went over to Lynn.

"Who do we have going with us from Patrol?" Emmett asked in his own version of the Commanding officer tone. He ranked above Lynn but ran and coordinated Patrol units and assignments from the Compound along with Lynn. She did more field work and inspected the patrol groups and went to do training or inspections.

"We have Simmons and Talbot with us but they will be riding in the second Humvee that will bring up the rear after the van with the supplies." Lynn reported in her no nonsense tone.

Eric had pulled up his tablet and was frowning at some information. "Just make sure to check the sat cams along the route but I think you guys should be fine. There are hardly ever any incursions when it is this cold but I would rather you guys not risk it without the patrol escort."

Kira looked to Ally and Shay. "Remember that if you can finagle the huge rolls of wiring, cables and piping they already have out of them then do that. I would like to at least get the plan in action or laid out for upgrading the compound heating systems. Make sure that the boilers they have meet our specifications before you even think about…"

Shay laughs and stops her. "Micromanage Kira, it is way too early in the morning for all of that. You already briefed and drilled this into Ally and I last night when you kept us at the workshop. You showed us pictures of everything and made us memorize them then pick them out of other pictures. I think we could do it in our sleep now."

Kira frowned. "Well you can never be to careful with those sneaky asses." She grumbled and pouted. "I am not a micromanager."

There were several scoffs and Eric smirked as he wrapped his arms around Kira. "You guys should get going and I need to get my pouty micromanager out of the freezing ass wind. Be sure to send your arrival report."

Emmett and Lynn gave nods while Shay and Ally gave hugs to Kira before they all loaded up.

Kira and Eric stayed to watch them at least pull off then he drug her back into the compound.

"Come on babe, let's get started with our paperwork before we have to go sit in the conference room of hell all day." Eric took her hand as they walked the corridors.

It was a common occurrence for them to walk this way or be seen kissing out in the public. Eric had never had reservations about it and had almost made a point to do it often especially at the beginning. Now people wondered when they would be hearing some kind of announcement that they would be getting married or were married.

Dauntless had changed for the better and most still feared Eric but they also looked at him with a new found respect as well. The newest leader had also made waves and impressions. There had been talk at first that she had slept her way to the top. That had stopped quickly for several reasons but the main one was because of all the changes she put into place that made living conditions start to become so much better. The next was how hard she was seen to be working. She didn't just order people around, she was more often than not in the trenches, sometimes literally digging trenches, and getting her hands dirty.

So as they walked together and passed a few people, they were greeted with nods of respect of gruff 'mornings'.

Eric internally was smiling because it was so different then the fear and hate he had once received walking the halls. He could only lay that at Kira's feet. She had wrought changes in not only the buildings of Dauntless, the faction in general but also in him. Then again she had always had the ability where he was concerned.

The morning in the office went too fast for either of their liking and soon they along with the other leaders and senior members were filing into the conference room for a day full of tedious meetings.

The bright spot in both of their days was not only being told that Hestia and Horace had offered to provide lunch and other things through the day, but also the lunch break they had planned in one of their offices.

So much so that they sent teasing messages to each other via their tablets even though they were sitting right beside each other at the table.

Daria at one point had to send Kira a message telling her that if she couldn't keep her blushes to a minimum then maybe they should refrain from that during the meeting. It had made Kira blush more, causing several knowing chuckles around the table.

With a wink Eric had smirked and whispered that he would be good. As boring meetings went Kira thought this one might not be too bad if this was how the day was going to go.

She should have known better than to jinx herself.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: No long note this is me ripping the band aide off of me.**

 **Soundtrack to this chapter: Jason Walker 'Echo', Nickleback 'Far Away', Alan Walker 'Faded', Red 'Never Be The Same' O.A.R 'Shattered', Ben Cocks 'So Cold'**

 **Chapter 14**

Kira picked up her tablet to look at the time for about the millionth time. There was still at least another hour before lunch. She sighed and put the tablet down and turned her attention back to what Amar was saying about the classes they were wanting to introduce to the the rotation.

Academy hadn't changed much since she had been through it or even when Eric had gone through but it was evolving nicely with the needs that Dauntless had. Factionless weren't as much as factor as they had been but they were still a concern and issue. The concerns that they were mainly concerned with now were the random incursions they had from the outsiders. People from the city that had made their way outside of the fence rather than stay with the factionless. They had been able to break free when the disorder and chaos had occurred during the attempt to completely overthrow the government. Sometimes groups of them tried to get back into the city or made it into the city and began their own little splinter cells to try and cause problems.

Kira and Tris were working on an outline and designs for a proposal to try and hopefully resolve matters enough for the factionless that they would no longer be an issue but there was so much on both of their plates currently that things with that were slowed in development.

Amar finished his presentation on the classes they wanted to propose for the combat, weapons and faction portion and it was turned over to Kira who had a few proposals too.

After passing out the proposal jackets she also had sent out the information to tablets with the diagrams and flowcharts. She believed in providing all the data she could, a left over Erudite trait but one that seemed to answer questions before she could be inundated with them.

"With the changes this last year that are allowing Dauntless to become more self sufficient we feel it would be best to maximize that. Currently we have contracts with Erudite one what we cannot try to develop on our own and we mean to keep those but they will be up for renegotiation soon. In the meantime I would like to propose for us to prepare for that. To do that we need to branch out on what we train our people in."

Kira hits a button on the controls for the vid screen for those that do not want to follow along with the papers she has given then and prefer to watch the speaker and the screen.

"Currently, unless someone transfers in with the knowledge on these crucial matters then we have to rely on Erudite, Candor and even Abnegation. I know you are all aware of the Erudite issues and those have been the most talked about. We can cover those briefly and then move on. From Erudite we have our techs, medics, research and development and engineers. Most if not all of the ones with that knowledge stay in Erudite but a few here and there do transfer; I was one myself with several of those qualifications. This year alone by Amar's report we have more transfers expected from those three factions than we have seen in a very long while. During interviews that were done at the school by the Dauntless teachers and some of the Instructors that went there, it was discovered this is because of the changes we have made this year."

Kira clicked to another screen and showed the charts for years recruits past and present.

"We have several Erudite that have stated in the interviews conducted that they are more likely to select Dauntless now because they know that they can use the skills they have and put to good use here than they would have before. Most of our true Dauntless aptitude Erudite stay in Erudite because before now the advancements they wanted to make for Dauntless wouldn't have been possible unless they stayed. I have the details on things that they referred to but you get the overall picture here. The classes that we are proposing be put into place during Academy will also create the departments or add to the departments already created that will make Dauntless more self reliant and stronger."

Kira paused to take a drink and then motioned for Tris to pick up for the next bit. "As Kira said it isn't just Erudite specific classes that we wish to add. Candor and Abnegation have some fundamental classes or even knowledge that could add to having well rounded soldiers…."

Tris was interrupted as all the Leaders and Senior Members phones started to go off with messages and the door to the conference room burst open to reveal a white faced Uriah Pedrad.

"I need the Leaders to come to the control room. There was an accident or an attack...we can't figure out which…" His voice was soft and he was refusing to look at Eric or Kira.

Kira's stomach dropped and she paled but jumped up along with the other main leaders as they followed after Uri quickly.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Four stood before the monitors in the control room, lips thinned and pacing as he barked orders and questions into the communicator. Zeke was furiously working on the computer and trying to mobilize a few units to make it to the scene for assessments.

"Do we have any Intel if this was an attack or an accident yet?" Four almost growled through his gritted teeth into the communicator.

That was what Eric, Tris, Kira, Max and Daria walked into. They also walked into the screen full of the pictures of twisted metal and raging fire in the wreckage of what was once two humvees and a cargo van.

When it registered what it was and who were in the vans Kira dropped to her knees "NO!" The scream tore from her throat.

Tris felt a strangled sob come from her throat and Daria masked one too. The elder Dauntless knew she would need to be even stronger now no matter what she was feeling, she had two young women she needed to be there for and one young man that she couldn't predict what would happen with.

Eric froze looking at the screen. He didn't even register Kira's cry or her falling to the floor. All he could see was the wreckage and then flashes of his sister, brother in law and friends loading into the vehicles this morning. His sister's smiles this morning. Emmett holding his daughter and Ava's laughter. That was all he was seeing along with the boiling flames on the screen.

Something snapped finally and he whipped to Four and noticed him pacing and talking. "Report now Four. What the fuck happened? Who do we have on the ground?"

Daria moved forward to Kira. "Kira, I know this is hard, but you have to be strong. We need you strong."

Kira felt like she couldn't breath. All she could do was scream inside that it can't be what she is seeing. That they would be fine. Somehow they would be fine. Daria's words pierce the shock slowly, but they do finally get through to her.

She let's hands help her up and she is pulled to someone's side. She looks up and Eric has her but he isn't focused on her. His eyes on are on the screen and she can feel his body trembling.

'I have to be strong. I have to be strong for him and my family.' It is a mantra that she begins to chant over and over to herself. She slowly feels strength come back to her and she stands straighter, pulling herself together.

"What do we know?" Kira asks quietly but firmly.

Eric looks down at her, pulls her even tighter but his lips are thinned. "Not much yet. The teams are working the area. They have to do recon to find out if it was an attack or not."

"Who is onsite now?" Max asked in a calm voice that masked his own pain at the sight in front of him.

Four had been listening to his communicator but then nodded to Max. "Putting it on live so you can hear the reports as they come in."

Max looked to Eric and Kira briefly before he nodded. Four nodded to Zeke who fed in the commands to the console and soon the Control room went to split screens for the helmet cams for the patrol leads for each unit. There were three active and the voices could be heard as each cleared the areas.

'Patrol group one clearing wreckage of lead vehicle. Intel suggest occupied by five….no survivors.'

'Patrol group three reporting in from wreckage of rear vehicle. One survivor badly wounded. Setting enroute to Erudite Medical now.

'Patrol group two reporting in, the driver didn't make it from the cargo van. Inspecting now as it was the heaviest hit. From preliminary reports this was an attack Control. Area is clear, whatever they were after I think they didn't mean to destroy it…'

No survivors. That was all Eric and Kira really heard. They clutched to each other tightly. Eric holding back the tears he knew would later be shed but right now he was raging. He would find whoever did this and hunt them down to the ends of the earth if he needed too.

"Four, gather a few men. I am going onsite now. We need to determined how the attack was pulled off. Zeke start pulling all the vid feed for the area for at least ten miles around for the last few days. Start looking for any activity in and around the area." Eric's voice was deadly calm and his face was devoid of emotion but Kira saw the pain in his eyes.

She tensed because she knew she wanted to go and be onsite too but one look at him and his thinned lips and she knew it wasn't going to happen. "Don't even think of asking Kira. I need you here." Eric's voice was low enough for her to hear but still had that steel to it that let her know he meant no arguments.

"You better come back to me Eric." Kira tried to keep her voice just as commanding but it came out as a plea instead.

He leaned forward and kissed her briefly but then pulled away and in a whirl he and Four were gone. The next hour or so Kira alternated between standing and staring at the screen blankly as she listened to the same thing playing in her head over and over again.

No survivors. Shay, Emmett, Lynn, Ally…..they were gone. This morning they were just having breakfast together laughing and making plans for the weekend.

This morning Ava had her parents. Nix had his mother. Now they were gone and the only thing that Kira could think was once it again….it should have been me.

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His family was gone. And for what? Because some factionless scum decided that they were going to try and capture a prize. It hadn't mattered what they ended up getting they just wanted something. What they got for their ineptitude was his family blown up as well as themselves. The driver that had survived for the little time that he had was able to relay that the lead vehicles had been hit the hardest by the explosive devices that were set up. They never saw anyone and the reason for that was because the people that had been setting up the device hadn't a clue what they were doing.

They had most likely meant for it to just disable the vehicles. Poorly made devices tended to malfunction and this one had been an epic malfunction. It took out everyone that had been in that area of the road. Powerful enough that it made a crater in that section of road. Hot enough to melt through metal.

The only reason they had been able piece things together over the next handful of days was from vid feed and Eric relentlessly hunting down the factionless in the area.

He hadn't slept really. He could only go home and hold Kira. Kira who only came out of her shock to take care of Ava and work. She was a walking shell the rest of the time and he wasn't much better to try and help her. It was worse than when her parents and brother had been taken from her.

It was worse for him than when Chase and his Dad had been taken from him. Besides feeling rage he wasn't feeling much else. Kira and Eric hadn't talked about things after the funeral at The Chasm. The only thing that had been talked about was Ava. They had already known from the time she was born that they were her godparents.

It was determined they would be raising her together if anything should happen to one or both of her parents. It hurt Eric just thinking about it now but all he could do was try and recover. Now that he knew there was no one to unleash his rage on, to make someone pay, he felt adrift.

He needed Kira and he knew she needed him he just needed to find a way to reach her.

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Kira sat in Daria's office, her body trembling with rage but her face dead of emotion. Her voice was just the same as she looked at the papers and documents in front of her.

"So you are telling me that despite Ally's wishes he will be living with Ben. I am just supposed to let this happen? Ben can barely wipe his own ass, there is no way he is going to be able to take care of a baby on his own." Kira could only shake her head at the thought.

Daria sighed and rubbed the back of her neck. "Until we can get his parental rights revoked or he signs them over Kira he is the sole remaining biological parent remaining. You will have say over his care, you have visitation and the best I can do is get you access to the residence so you can keep an eye on things. Until Ben says he doesn't want him Kira, he has every right to do what he is doing."

Kira sneered at the papers as if this shithead were in front of her right now. "You know he doesn't want him. It is only because she wanted him to come to me. I knew I should have pushed her to get him to sign over rights instead of abandonment charges. What the fuck was I thinking?"

Daria sighed and stood then walked over to Kira, taking in her appearance and demeanor. She wasn't doing well, but then again none of them were. Eric and Kira especially but they were both trying to play at being strong for the other.

"Kira." Daria softened her tone and Kira wouldn't look up to meet her eyes. "Kira look at me." She commanded the young woman. Finally she met her eyes and what Daria saw there killed her. She was tormenting herself about this. "Talk to me Kira. You need to talk about this or it will eat you from the inside out."

Kira strives with all her might to shutter everything in her. She would lock everything she was feeling in and carry on. She needed to for Ava, Nix and Eric. She smiled tightly. "It is hard Daria but I am dealing with it. Right now I just want to focus on honoring Ally's final fucking wishes and making sure Nix is safe. He needs to be home with his family and Ben sure as fuck never was and never will be his family."

Daria nods and internally sighs. She couldn't make her talk but they could try and take care of things as much as they could. "Like I said I was able to get you access to the residence. Here is a key card. He is staying in her apartment of course so you can go and check things out. He can't deny you access to Nix any more so you can visit him in the daycare and at home anytime you want to."

Kira took the keycard and nodded angrily. For over a week now she had been trying to get Nix or at least see him. Ben had been called from the fence when it was made official that Ally was gone. Ben had wasted no time in taking Nix from her and then setting it up so she couldn't see him to take care of him or check on him.

"This is the form that he would use to sign over his rights. Keep it on you and if you can talk sense into him once he sees how hard it is, then have him sign that and get it to me. As soon as he signs it Kira, you take Nix right then." Daria ground out not like thing situation anymore than the young leader.

Kira nodded and stood, not wanting to waste anytime in checking on Nix. "Thank you Daria. Ben should be in the vehicle depot working since that was where he was assigned when he returned. I should find Nix in the daycare hopefully. I will see if I can talk to Ben. I might need to calm down first."

"Let me know how Nix is please Kira." Daria requested softly.

With a nod Kira set off. Tris was covering for her today so she could try and get things sorted. She had spent almost all day finishing out moving Ava's things to the apartment. She hadn't been able to go through Shay or Emmett's room. She was going to wait until Eric was available to do it together but he had been so busy trying to find answers to what happened.

While he tried to find answers on why and how it happened Kira had been trying to find answers within herself of why it hadn't been her. That was all that had been in her mind lately. Why the people she loved were the ones that were taken away when it always should be her.

She tried to be worthy. To live the lives they would have had or would have wanted for her. She tries to do everything she can to make their passing not be in vain.

Everything she tries seems to fail because no matter what she does someone she loves suffers. Logically Kira knows none of that is true but logic has nothing to do with the darkness in her that is rearing it's head.

She wants to reach out to Eric but how can she burden him with this when he must already be drowning in his own?

Right now she shoves that all to the side. She needs to find how Nix is doing so she handles to the child care class that is for Nix's age group. It is in the new family living quarters which means she has to bundle up and venture through one of the underground tunnels. She is thankful that they were able to get the tunnels set to keep the ice from penetrating the stone there. It made travel between the compound and the living quarters much safer and an easier journey if not a bit longer at a thirty minute walk.

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The dining hall was pretty full by the time Eric made his way in. Kira had said that Shauna and Zeke had Ava for right now and that she was dealing with some issues at the other living quarters. She was supposed to meet him in the dining hall for dinner.

Max and Daria motioned him over as soon as he got his tray. Max looking on worriedly causing Eric to sigh internally.

"Eric. I thought you would be having dinner at home since we closed out the investigation officially." Max had his head tilted but his voice was even.

Eric shrugged. "Kira said Shauna and Zeke have Ava for now. She is supposed to meet me here, something tied her up over at the family living quarters."

Daria stiffened and looked to Max worriedly. "Have you heard from her Daria?" Max asked gravely.

"No and that worries me." Daria tried to speak just low enough for Max to hear but Eric had noticed their reaction and was listening.

"What is going on Daria?" Eric posed it as a question but it was really a demand.

She didn't need to answer because the dining hall normal chatter and buzz was broken by the strangled screams of a baby and then the doors being thrown open. In the doorway stood a thunderous looking Kira and just behind her was Tris looking severely distraught and holding a wailing bundle.

Kira pointed to Tris and to the table of their friends and gave a silent order then scanned the tables. She lasered in on who she was looking forward and stalked to him quickly.

Ben, sitting at a table of guards and guys from the depot, was looking at Kira in horror but had no time to recover and look innocent before she was in front of him and slammed a paper down in front of him.

"Sign this fucking paper right now Ben and I may fucking restrain myself from slitting your sorry ass throat." Kira growled out and leaned over the table menacingly.

Eric was about to raise up when Max stopped him with a hand and a look. "Wait Eric. You don't know what is going on...just wait."

Ben sneered up at Kira. "I already told you that you aren't taking my son from me."

Kira was trying to stop from snapping but it was so hard looking into the bastards face. "Oh you have already lost him Ben. The question is are you willing to lose your fucking freedom and life as well. Don't play innocent with me. How many days did you leave him in that crib, laying in his own shit and starving? You don't hear him over there...do you hear his voice...he can barely cry because that is all he has done. Now sign the fucking paper and maybe you might make it out of here alive."

Ben looked to those around him but all his saw was disgust on the guys around him faces. He still tried to salvage things though. "I arranged for care for him at home Kira. I had that right. It isn't my fault if the girl…"

"I suggest you stop talking and sign this paper now Ben. Final warning. No more talk, no more excuses….sign the paper or you will be arrested here on the spot." Kira's eyes went to ice and her voice deadly soft as she leaned in to next to his ear.

Eric hadn't been able to take it anymore and was already moving closer to them. Ben saw this over his shoulder and gulped. Kira say the resignation on his face and handed him the pen. He signed the paper and all but shoved it at her quickly trying to get her and Eric away from him.

Kira looked it over and turned but something in Ben couldn't let her leave without trying to hurt her. "She deserved to die. Especially like that, too bad she didn't take the brat with her." He sneered out.

Before he knew it and before anyone else could react, Kira had launched herself at him. She shoved his face into the table and then began to wail on him. His nose was the first to go in a spray of blood. All the rage, anger and pain was behind her punches.

"Sorry sack of shit. It should have been you! It should have been you that died. She doesn't have a mother and it should have been me!"

She yelled this as she kept hitting him or trying to. Eric was there and pulling her back. Horrified by what she had just most likely unknowingly admitted she was feeling. He was dragging her out of the room while she was still fighting.

He vaguely heard Max ordering Ben to be cuffed and taken to the clinic. He would get treated but then there was no way he wouldn't be taken in if what Kira said was true.

"Let me go Eric!" Kira screamed as he carried her out of the dining hall.

"You need to calm down Kira and we need to talk."

"I need to get my son dammit!" Kira screamed and pounded on him.

This stopped Eric in his tracks. He had her over his shoulder so he put her down in front of him. "What did you just say Kira?"

Kira's eyes snapped up to Eric's and her nostrils were flared. "I need to get my son Eric. Nix is my son now. Ally made me his guardian if anything happened and Ben just signed over every right he had. I need to take him home now."

"When did she make you his guardian Kira? When you were you going to fucking tell me?" Eric's voice started to raise.

"When he was born and I would have if you didn't act like an ass anytime the subject of Nix came up." They were glaring at each other, both full of anger but yelling about the wrong things and to the wrong people.

"So what, I am just supposed to sit there and raise that fuckers kid? You want me to seriously take him into my house and pretend I want him? Why should I take him in Kira?" Eric gestured to the dining hall where the faint whimpers of Nix could be heard.

Kira wasn't just full of anger at his words but also pain. "You don't have to do anything Eric. You don't have to be involved in his life at all if that is how you feel." She was trying to keep it together but she was unraveling.

"How is that going to work Kira? Just ignore him in my own home? I can't believe you didn't talk about this with me before you did it?"

Kira met his eyes and shook her head, her pain finally winning over. "Like I said you don't have to be involved or there at all Eric. He is my son now regardless of how it happened or why. His mother was taken from him and I am raising him just as if he was my own. Maybe you think that is a stupid thing to do. Maybe you felt that way when your own mother took me in? Because it is crazy to raise another person's child right? To love someone else's kid like family even if they aren't your family."

Eric started to speak as he scowled at her but she shook her head and backed away. "I thought you of all people would understand what it would be like for him. I guess I was wrong. How long have you felt like that Eric?"

She was projecting all her own pain, her own demons on him and she couldn't stop. She was just in too much pain.

"Kira I never…" Eric started but her face closed off and he knew nothing he said would get through to her. "Kira don't do this please. I know you are hurting, and I am too. Please don't shut me out baby."

Kira's back straightened and she shook her head. "I am going to go get my son and go to my house. Ava is spending the night with Shauna and Zeke so you won't have to worry about that. We can work out the arrangements for her care later."

The meaning of her words hit Eric and he moved to grab her. "No you aren't doing this Kira. You don't get to walk away like this. We need to talk this out Kira."

Kira shakes her head. "There is nothing to talk about. You said you can't raise him and I am going to. You said you didn't want him in your home...so maybe you should go back to your own home. That way you don't need to be around us."

She left him standing there as she turned to Tris and Four who were standing not to far away. She quickly gathered Nix to her after handing a paper to Tris and then she was gone.

Eric went to go after her but suddenly he saw Ben being drug out of the Dining Hall. He never even remembered moving forward or grabbing him before he too started to try and beat the bastard to a bloody pulp.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Hello All. I hope the last chapter didn't disappoint or drive people away but I did say there was tragedy. If you are still with me, I hope this chapter helps to heal a little. As always thank you for all the views, reviews, follows and favorites.**

 **The Soundtrack to this chapter: Plumb 'Don't Deserve You'...Ben Cocks 'So Cold', Kodaline 'All I want', Andrew Belle 'In My Veins', Seether 'Broken ft. Amy Lee', Crossfade 'Cold', Sia 'My Love'**

 **Chapter 15**

What the hell is happening here? It is all Eric can think but inside he knows. This is what Kira did after her parents died. She pushed him away and hated him. Hated herself more and tried to destroy everything she thought made her truly happy because she somehow thought she was responsible for their deaths. That by just being happy she had killed them.

Max had led him to is office after they had pulled him of the severely beaten Ben. He didn't feel a bit sorry for what he did. Not after everything he has done to Kira, Ally and from what Max and Daria are reporting, to his own fucking son.

"The clinic reported that his rash well take medicated serums to heal just from the sores….." Eric had to start taking calming breaths to prevent himself from going after him again.

Ben was fixed up as much as they were going to allow him to be and was in a holding cell right now for the investigation. At the very least Ben would be made factionless.

He might not want Nix to be a part of his family's life, for Kira to be raising him, but that didn't mean he wanted the kid to suffer. He could only sit there as they discussed what needed to be done. Tris and Four had shown up and he was about to ask Tris how Kira was but a shake from Four's head let him know that wouldn't be a good idea.

He sits there for another hour and it is determined that Ben did ask a girl he was hooking up with to stay with Nix but she had to work and had told him that. Apparently he thought her 'mothering' instinct would kick in and she wouldn't be able to leave him. It was altogether disgusting but at least there was enough to get him set up with charges in Candor and put his ass away for a long while.

Four finally approached Eric when Tris was with Daria and Max. Eric frowned and sighed. "How is she doing?"

Four shook his head and looked away. "I wouldn't try and talk to her tonight man. I have never seen her this way. Even Tris is worried. She isn't a mess, she is just ….cold. She has to get Nix taken care of and settled. They recommended he be taken to Erudite Medical to be admitted and hooked up to a few treatments. She is already gone so…"

Eric scowled and started to get angry and worried. All he could see was the wreckage and his sister and brother in-law gone in an instant. "She already fucking left Four? And I am just now finding out? How did she get there? Who fucking took her…"

Four scowled on his own and quirked an eyebrow at him. "Max authorized it and I believe had you been listening..you would have heard that earlier. She was taken right from the clinic when she went back with them after Mar had called her with some blood work results. Erudite sent one of their medic vans so they could monitor him on the way. He might be there a few days."

Eric buried his head in his hands for a minute and nodded. "Ok. I have no clue what to do here. I don't know if I can handle her having him Four. I just don't know if I can do it."

Four sighs and tilts his head looking at Eric, who somehow over the last year had become a good friend. "Then you risk losing her Eric. Because there is no way Kira would ever abandon that kid. I don't exactly what is causing your issues with the situation but maybe you need to take time to think about that. Maybe giving her and yourself space is a good thing. I don't know what to tell you otherwise."

Four shrugged and walked away from Eric, leaving him to his own thoughts. Personally he didn't get how Kira had been so easily forgiving but his opinion didn't matter. One thing Four knew for sure was that if he were in Eric's position he wouldn't let this fuck up a relationship that meant that much to him. Nix was an innocent in all of this and whatever issues Eric had with him, he needed to figure it out and fast.

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Eric made his way to their apartment, he refused to think of it otherwise, and let himself in. Max and Daria had pointedly told him that Kira was staying the night with Nix at the hospital with him and that now would be the time to get anything he might need from the apartment. All he could do was stare into their closet trying to figure out how shit had come to this.

How could she choose the kid of her ex over them? Was he willing to give them up over this? Was he willing to raise a child that wasn't even his with Kira?

Ava was different. She was their niece and not the bastard of her ex and the kid of the girl he cheated on Kira with. Did no one see how messed up that was?

Eric collapsed on the bed and put his head in his hands. The same questions kept going round and round in his head and all he could feel was hurt that she had done this without even talking to him about things.

Hurt that she was willing to walk away from them so easily. He needed to talk to her because he couldn't let this happen. He just got her back and they were all each other had.

Whatever he was going to do wasn't going to happen tonight. Tonight he would honor her wishes but he wasn't leaving for long. He couldn't lose her again….he couldn't lose everything….

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Kira sat beside the big bed with Nix laying in it and looking dwarfed. He was connected to IV's and monitors looking so fragile and small. It hurt her heart to see him like this and she had been so scared when they had converged on him looking so serious and dour.

She needed Eric more than ever but she already knew he would never accept Nix. The overnight stay in the quiet of the hospital had given her time to reflect on the last words they spoke.

Of course he didn't mean that he thought his mother shouldn't have taken her in. That had been her words she had projected on him but he still meant every word about Nix.

It was killing her that it was coming down this but then again maybe it was for the best.

She was a mess and she knew it. The one person left she could talk about it who she hoped might understand and he was the last person she could talk to about it.

Kira scoffed at herself. Her pain meant nothing right now. Ava and Nix were all that mattered.

There was someone she could talk to that might understand. Not might….she would definitely understand.

She was due to speak with Lorraine anyways. Resolved to reach out, Kira picked up her phone and sent out a few messages.

She needed to make sure Ava was taken care of and then check in with Daria. Then she would ask if Lorraine could meet her up at the cafe of the hospital.

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There was a knock at Eric's office door around lunch. He was in a foul mood and had resolved to just lock himself away all day until it was time to go home. He knew he didn't need to let loose his own shit on anyone else and he would if he had to see someone. Obviously the outside world hadn't gotten the memo that he was doing this for their own protection.

Then again he had been doing this for the last two days since Kira had been at Erudite Medical with Nix. Shauna had said that she would take Ava for the next few days until Kira got Nix settled and then they were all supposed to meet to make permanent arrangements. Permanent arrangements for the shared custody of his niece like it was already decided they were fucking done.

The knock sounded on the door again, disturbing his musings

"What!" He barked out.

The person obviously had balls because they took that as permission to enter.

"Eric." Max called out the greeting as he was walking in. He took in Eric's appearance and grunted. He knew things were bad if Eric hadn't even bothered to shave. It looked to be about the same amount of day's growth as Kira having been gone too. Not to mention he didn't his hair in the normal styled perfection. It was like it was half-hearted attempt before he gave up. Which is probably exactly what happened.

"Max." Eric grumbled and tried to bite back any other dick remarks or greetings.

Max made his way to one of the chairs in front of his Second's desk. "How are you doing son?" He asked the question but he already knew the answer.

Eric snorted in mock amusement. His fists hadn't unclenched from the moment he woke up that first morning in the cold bed of the apartment he used to call his own before he got Kira back. He had barely gotten any sleep and had just stared up at the ceiling every night. Every noise he thought he heard coming from next door had him popping up only to get there and see there was still no one there. It was just as lifeless as he felt.

"Can't you tell?" Eric chuckled mirthlessly.

Max sighs and runs a hand over his face. "It's time we talked. I need you to tell me what is going on in your mind about Nix. Why have you been so against Kira having been involved with them?"

Eric can only frown and shrugs his shoulders. "Other than I think it is insane that she wanted to involve herself with the woman that knowingly fucked her boyfriend at the time and then got pregnant? Maybe it is that I can't understand it. How does someone just get over that and willingly take them in as a best friend? Then suddenly she is going to raise his fucking kid? Like I don't have enough reminders of how much I fucked up. Now I am going to have to see her with his kid everyday for the rest of my life and know how close that came to being their kid. Does she not get how that could kill me? It almost happened Max. She almost married him and they would have popped out kids. It would have been all down to me, because I fucked myself and hurt her…."

Eric trailed off when it hit him what he was saying. It wasn't really about Nix at all. Not really, it was about him and that maybe he hadn't forgiven himself for what he did to her.

Max sighed and rubbed his eyes and nodded. "I get it Eric. It is a messy situation all together. Even before Shay, Emmett and Ally...it was messy. She has been tearing herself up about that from the moment Nix was born. You have some decisions to make and you need to make them fast Eric. Kira will be coming back with Nix tomorrow and she will be bringing him home to stay. They want to keep him overnight to make sure his nutrition levels are back up where they need to be. She will be bringing Ava with her too. She asked me to find out from you if you wanted to set a schedule for times you would have her and when she would take her. I am supposed to email her the information tonight."

Eric groaned and buried his head in his hands and shook his. "What the fuck am I supposed to do? Yeah I realize my issues are my own but she is just willing to walk away and not even try Max?"

Max snorted and shook his head. "Have you even tried to talk to her beyond when she walked away? Have you tried messaging her or even going to the medical center? You both are being ridiculous but you are both in so much pain you can't see beyond it for what the other person is feeling. You know her better than anyone Eric. You tell me what she is feeling right now?"

Eric frowned knowing exactly what she is feeling. "That it would be better to push me away because if she doesn't then I would be next. That she doesn't deserve to be happy because when she is bad shit happens. She probably doesn't feel like she can talk to me because of everything I am feeling and she doesn't want to fucking burden me with it."

Gods damn it of course she would do all of that. Saying it all out loud just brought it home for him and did put things a bit into perspective.

Max nods and sighs. "She won't know what you are really feeling about the situation with Nix unless you tell her. I admit I had some clue but then again I am outside of the situation. Now that you have come to that conclusion are you really willing to let her go because you are having issues coming to terms with what you did in the past?"

"Fuck no. I just don't know how I am going to deal with it Max. How do I explain that to her? How do I get over that and not take it out on the kid? Because she will know in an instant Max and that will drive her away as surely as now." Eric's mind was starting to whirl with conversations he could have with her. How things could play out and how he needed them to.

Max shrugs and tilts his head. "I don't have any better suggestions than what you are already running through your mind. I will say this, maybe it would be a good idea to not let it get to me sending that email out. She is at the medical center dealing with a scary situation and hurting. If you are willing to really put in the effort with Nix, maybe showing her you can be there for him now will go a long way. It will be up to you but if you do decide to go, I believe the train will be around in the next forty five minutes or so."

It wasn't quite an order but almost. Max didn't even let Eric respond before he nodded, stood and then was out of the door. Eric sat there in his chair for a few more minutes, staring at the space the elder Dauntless had occupied almost blankly.

He was right. If he let Max send out that email, with Eric agreeing to a schedule, then Kira would call it done in her mind. She will take that as a sign that Eric doesn't want to try and work things out and isn't willing to try with Nix.

He was up and moving before he completed that thought because fuck if he was going to let that happen. He remembered to shoot off a message to Max to tell him he would be stepping out for the day then headed to the apartment to change into clothes for taking the train.

In Max's office, he and Daria looked between each other with relieved expressions after he got the message. "We can only hope they actually talk now." Max muttered and Daria nodded then kissed him deeply.

"It was pretty devious to tell him she was requesting the schedule. How did you know that would spur him to go find her?" Daria quirked an eyebrow at her question.

Max shrugged. "Kira tries to be logical in almost everything. I could see her seeing his agreement to a schedule as him saying it was over between them. Luckily all she wanted to know when she called was if he was ok with watching Ava until they got back. But it gave us the excuse to push things."

Daria got a grin before she leaned closer to him. "This is why you are my sexy Senior Leader."

Max got a half smug and half shit eating grin before he pulled her to him for a kiss.

Fifteen minutes later, Eric was just pulling on all his winter gear and then practically running out of the compound to make the train and head to the Medical Center.

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Kira stared at the coffee cup between her hands as she sat at the table in the Cafe of the Medical Center. A frown on her face causing her forehead to furrow. She had finally been convinced to take a shower in the private room Nix was assigned and Daria along with Tris had brought her changes of clothes to get into. She had to admit that did make her feel a little better. It couldn't make everything better but being clean and in clean clothes seemed to help clear her head a little.

So did the conversation she was having with the woman that had just moments ago been sitting across from her. Just being in her presence really helped more than she had thought possible.

She looked up when Lorraine Coulter slid back into her seat with a plate of food that she put in front of Kira and gave her and look that said she would take no arguments.

"Eat Kira. You won't be any good to that beautiful little boy upstairs, Ava or anyone else if you don't take care of yourself too." Lorraine looked at Kira with love and concern.

Her normally clear wide eyes were ringed with dark circles, she had puffy bags under them from where she had most likely been silently and secretly crying her eyes out. She had almost had to force her into the shower after the two female leaders and friends from Dauntless had left after giving her a bag of new clothes.

Kira gave her a small smile and nodded. "Yes Maman."

Lorraine smiled softly at her. She had always been so very happy that Kira had been able to see her as a mother and that all of her children had continued to do so even after they transferred. She hadn't been able to see much of them over the last five months but they had all been so busy. When Shay had told her that Eric and Kira had finally made up and were on the way to getting back together she had been the happiest she had been since the birth of her grandchild.

They were all left reeling after the loss of Shay and Emmett. She had known that it would hit Kira the hardest. She had hoped that she could find comfort in Eric but she should have known Kira's first reaction would be to try and push Eric away for fear of losing him too.

She watched as Kira ate a little and sipped her coffee, trying to figure out how to broach the subject of Eric and her. Sighing when she saw Kira was only going to eat a little less than half of her plate she put her coffee cup down.

"Kira." She began softly. "Are you ready to talk about what you asked me to meet you here for?"

Kira sighed and nodded but took a few moments to gather her thoughts. She smiled when Lorraine took her hand in hers. Shay had looked so much like her mother while Eric had taken more after his father. Lorraine was long elegance in frame and feature. Everything from her hands to her legs. Both the parents had similar eye and hair colors so Eric and Shay had of course took after them both in that respect.

Personality wise Eric was more Lorraine than he was Gabriel Coulter. Lorraine was cunning, calculating, brutally honest, and had a knack for knowing exactly where to strike at a person to get to the heart of a matter or their weakness. She was also one of the most caring people Kira had ever known and that was all masked underneath all the other traits. Eric had gotten his humor and outlook on how to treat someone you love from his father. Gabriel had loved Lorraine with every fiber of his being and showed that openly. That was the example Eric had when it came to relationships and he had taken it to heart.

He bared his heart openly to Kira. All except for when it came to Nix and now it had come to this.

"Lorraine, did you regret taking me in? Was it hard raising someone else's child?" Kira starts out with this point. Once a seed of doubt plants itself into the mind it compiles on insecurities that a person might never have known they had.

Once uttered, that was one of the things that had been playing in her mind and slowly twisting the knife of pain even further.

Lorraine's eyes narrow and she squeezes Kira's hand. "You know better than that Kira. I considered you like a daughter from the moment you were born. I was the third person to hold you. Your mother first, your father and then he placed you into my arms and I loved you instantly. So not for one minute do I regret taking you in Kira. You belonged with us and there was never any other option." She finished firmly in her commanding way.

Kira sighed and felt relief and love flood her. "I don't know why I thought it but I guess that worry has always been there." She takes a sip of her coffee and frowns after she puts it down. "How did you do it Maman? How did you put aside your own grief and take care of us? How did you handle the loss of your other half and just carry on?"

Kira's voice become strangled and her eyes fill with tears at the thought of not only Lorraine's pain but her own at the prospect of not sharing the rest of her life with Eric. Because she wanted that. Now she could admit that. She wanted that with him but she would most likely never have that, not if he couldn't accept Nix.

Lorraine tilted her head and frowned with a sigh. "I think because I carried them with me Kira. It hurt losing Gabe but when I looked at Shay, Eric and even you I felt he was there with me. Your parent's too. I knew they wouldn't want me to wallow in my own pain or misery not just because of you three but because they would want me to move on and be happy."

Kira tilted her head and frowned. "Shay said something to me Lorraine...not even a week before it happened. She said I wouldn't be honoring my parents or Chase by denying myself the chance to live and love. I really don't want to deny that Maman but Eric…"

Her voice cracks and she tries to pull the tears back in. Lorraine scowls and shakes her head with a sigh and moves to Kira's side, pulling her into a hug. "What has that stubborn ass son of mine done now?"

Kira clings to Lorraine and laughs a little while still crying. "It isn't all him. We are both just hurting so much and I think were trying to be strong for each other so didn't talk like we normally would have. Then there is the whole thing with Nix…"

Lorraine nods. "Because he is Ben's. Eric doesn't want him or treats him differently? Is that where you got that I might have regretted taking you in?"

Kira sobs and nods. "He can't understand how I could have taken Ally and Nix into my life and I can't understand why he has such a problem with it. He couldn't tell me either but he kept saying he would try. I wanted to tell him what Ally asked me but I was so scared it would turn into a bad fight or worse…..I was right. There is no way he can accept Nix and I won't abandon him."

Lorraine closes her eyes and sighs. "Kira you won't know until you talk to him though. Have you tried since everything happened?"

Kira shakes her head, still crying. "I wanted to so badly because I just needed him to be here. But I couldn't ask that of him knowing how he felt and I was afraid if I tried to talk to him I would only make it worse. That I would lash out at him again."

"Well then you need to talk to him. When you get home try and set aside time and you two talk. Without Ava, Nix or anyone else around. But if you don't talk about it Kira then you will both destroy yourselves over it. You two barely survived losing each other before. It will be so much worse this time and I can't have that happening. Do you understand me?" She gripped Kira's chin and held her eyes.

Kira tried not to flinch slightly at the intensity but also resemblance to Eric's eyes at that. She failed but she also nodded. "I will try and talk to him if he wants to."

Lorraine sighs and pulls Kira back to a hug. "Trust me Kira he will want to."

She held her for a little bit longer and then prodded her to try and eat some more. While she was picking more at her food Lorraine talked to her about small things to get her mind off of things as she could.

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Eric had been directed to where Nix was staying in and was standing outside of it with a frown on his face. The whole train ride he had been wracking his brain trying to figure out the best way to approach things. He was still hurt by her walking away and not telling him about things sooner but he also knew he was to blame for this too. He hadn't been able to admit to himself that the problem was him all along.

He finally opened the door after taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. He opened it to find the room empty but for a huge bed with crib rails up and Nix looking so small in the middle of it. With a frown he moved in closer to the bed and saw a recliner chair next to it that looked like Kira had been using that as a bed with a pillow and blanket laid on it. There was a bathroom in the room but it was empty. He knew she wouldn't have gone far and he was surprised she stepped out at all. He would have to wait for her and he was sure it wouldn't be too long of a wait.

Sighing he peeled off his gloves, jacket and cap then laid them on the sofa that would have been better for Kira to sleep on but knew she would have wanted to be right next to Nix. He wondered if she has gotten any sleep or if she has been eating at all. Knowing her the answer was most likely not and he tried to shove down the guilt and anger from that.

He takes a seat in the recliner after moving the pillow and blanket to the sofa and looks over Nix.

He can admit it hurts him to see the little boy like he is. He must look much better than he had if they were just keeping for observation now.

He still has monitors connected to him and what looks to be an IV on his small hand but it is wrapped thickly in bandages. Probably to keep him from trying to pull it out.

He stays there a while just looking over the little boy and wondering if he will ever see him as something other than what could have been or a reminder of his failure. Leaning forward he puts his elbows on his knees and runs his hand over his face and eyes tiredly.

Nix stirs and whimpers in his sleep causing Eric to look up and frown. He watches him to see if he is waking up or in pain and sees that Nix's eyes are open. He can finally see that he will take after his mother in almost every aspect feature wise. Ben had brownish eyes while Nix has blue eyes and black hair. Just like Ally had. Blue eyes that are just open and staring at Eric filling slowly with tears.

Nix gives a few more silent whimpers and Eric looks around as if there is someone to help him out. He can tell Nix is working his way to about to cry so with sigh he reaches forward and carefully picks up the eight month old little boy. The blanket he was wrapped in had come loose in his moving around so he laid Nix against his chest and laid the blanket over them both.

"You're fine Nix. Aunt Kira had to step away but she didn't leave you. She would never do that." Eric rumbles softly as he tries to gently pat the little boys back like he remembered doing with Ava.

He can feel Nix's silent cries start to slow down until finally after several minutes his breathing goes back to even a sign that he has fallen back asleep.

He contemplates putting him back in the bed but sometime during all of that Nix had clutched his shirt in his one free hand tightly. With a sigh he positions himself better in the chair and reclines it back.

What is it about holding a sleeping baby that makes a person melt and relax? Eric wonders this as his body starts to lose tension and become heavy with the sleep he hadn't been able to get on his own without Kira beside him. His arms wrapped a little tighter around Nix to secure him as he succumbed to his tiredness.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Kira and Lorraine made their way back up to Nix's room arm in arm.

"When you get everything settled we will set up a time and meet in the Annex and have a day shopping or spending time together. I would love to spend the day with all of you and miss Ava dearly." Lorraine said with small smile.

She had gotten Kira to eat almost everything on her plate and the young woman seemed to feel better for having been able to talk about things. It made her feel better about her own private grief, that she was able to be there for one of her children again. It allowed her to forget her own pain because helping her and them was so much more important at the moment.

She knew if Eric and Kira could get over this hurdle then she would feel so much less pain and worry. If they couldn't she would lose them as surely as if they were dead because they would die inside again. She couldn't watch that again and wouldn't, not if she had anything to say about it.

Kira sighed and nodded. "I think that would be lovely and Ava would love to see her Grand-mére."

Lorraine nods as they both wave to the nurses at the nurse station and push open the door to Nix's room. The sight as they walk into has both women's eyes filling with tears.

Eric reclined in the chair beside Nix's bed asleep but with Nix laying on his chest and his big arms wrapped protectively around the sleeping infant.

Kira's hand flies to her mouth and she can't help the small sob that escapes her throat at that.

That sound was enough to wake Eric enough to blearily look around the room. His eyes went alert when they landed on Kira. He was only vaguely aware that there was someone else with her.

He was also only vaguely aware that person had moved towards him quickly when he started to rise and took Nix from him.

All he saw was Kira and all she saw was him as they moved towards one another. Their mouths and arms were the first to connect as their bodies moved to each other in an effort to get as close to each other as possible.

The kiss was desperate they both battled to claim each others mouths. It wasn't a kiss that they were leading towards sexual release though both could feel that hunger there for sure. It was of love, longing, pain and anger for each other and themselves.

They finally broke apart, panting but foreheads pressed together. Kira's arms were around his waist holding him close while Eric's hands were to either side of her head. He breathed her in and felt the fire of tears burning in his eyes.

"I'm sorry Kira. I am so fucking sorry baby…" Eric choked out against her head in a fierce whisper.

Kira shook her head and felt her tears falling freely. "I didn't mean that you regretted me Eric. I was hurt and...I wanted to push you away because I was so scared."

"I know but I didn't make things easier either." He sighs and pulls back and looks into her eyes. "I saw you with Nix and all I saw was what I did to you Kira. All I saw was that could have been your baby with Ben and….it killed me and made me hate myself. I hoped you could forgive me but I.." he stopped and sighed "..I never forgave myself."

Kira's tears gain as she gasps in the pain she knows that must have caused Eric. "Oh Eric I am so sorry. I didn't think of it like that."

Eric kisses her forehead and shakes his head a little. "I didn't realize it either until I talked to Max. It just all burst out of me so of course you couldn't know Kira because I didn't even fucking really know."

"I should have talked to you sooner. I shouldn't have been so scared that it would drive you away and just talked to you." Kira admitted with a scowl at herself for being afraid and weak in that respect.

"We both made mistakes baby. What matters now is what we do to make things right. Kira I can't lose you. I don't want to lose you." Eric's voice breaks a little at the end as they have both pulled back to stare into each other's eyes.

Kira smiles sadly and nods. "I don't want to lose you either Eric. You know I can't abandon or turn Nix over to someone else though and if it hurts you so much..I don't know what to do about that Eric. I don't want you to have to hurt every time you see him."

Eric takes a deep breath and finally notices that the person in the room his his mother and she is now holding Nix in the same position that he was. They lock eyes and he reads in them her own message telling him he better not fuck this up and lose her again because of his own personal hang ups.

He looks back down at Kira and shakes his head. "I think Nix and I have come to an understanding Kira. It was never him but what I was seeing and thinking in my own mind. It was one of my fears you know. Not about Ben specifically but about you marrying someone else and having children with them. I have always had it there in the back of my mind and seeing you with Nix just brought it forward but it could have been with anyone at anytime really."

Kira breathes a little easier and doesn't realize her hands had developed an almost death grip at the back of his shirt. Almost as if she was afraid that sometime during this conversation it was going to lead to him going away.

"So where does this leave us?" Kira asked shakily.

Where does this leave us? Eric thinks and knows that this is completely the wrong time and place but he can't let her be able to walk away from him so easily again. He couldn't handle her taking an out because she got scared. He wants her to have no out to take.

"Like I said I won't lose you again baby. But I need to know you won't just walk away again because things get hard or we argue. I need to know you are there for the long haul Kira. So if we do this we do this right and right now." Eric said firmly and grasped her chin to make her look at him. Letting her know this is his demand but his eyes also show his plea.

Kira's forehead furrowed in a frown and confusion. "What do you mean Eric?" Her voice is almost a strangled whisper because somewhere deep down she knows what he is asking.

"You know what I mean Kira. I mean we get Max here and he marries us right now. I had planned on asking you later and with the ring I had but I can't wait. Like I said I need to know you aren't going to try and walk away again." Eric hopes against hope she accepts and doesn't push him away again.

He knows it is so soon after her panic and the reason she lashed out at him but they are still in so much pain and he knows Kira. He knows she could do it again if it gets to be too much for her. The difference from right after her parents and brother died and now was there wasn't so much at stake for them both. She pushed him away then but she was still there, still had to live there with him and their family. It wouldn't be like that this time and he couldn't go through what he had for the last few days again.

Kira clutches to him in fear but also relief and happiness. Should she be feeling so happy after everything that has happened? She just lost her sister and brother along with two close friends and she was here with a glimmer of happiness.

Shay's words from just before she died, all of them, float into her mind and she let's out a shaky breath. As if Shay were there, her intense grey eyes locked onto hers, as she demanded Kira listen to her and take the chance. To let herself have this happiness. Because she was right. It is never guaranteed and it can be taken away in an instant. Eric could be taken away from her or she could be taken away from Eric.

If that ever happened and they didn't take the chance, she would always regret it and she wouldn't want him to regret it if it were him left behind.

"Kira?" Eric whispered as he let his lips ghost over hers. "Please baby."

"Yes" She breathes against his lips only to have him immediately claim them in a kiss of relief and fierceness.

It turns to a kiss of passion and need but Eric breaks them apart knowing that this is not the time or place. He also needs to get Max there immediately. He would take no chances.

When they break apart finally he doesn't let her go but gives her a smile. They take each other in for the first time really.

Kira lets her hand go to the side of his face and runs it softly along the beginings of a beard that is starting to grow in. He hadn't shaved since that last morning they were together. His hair was nowhere near his normal perfection and those curls she loved that he hated were there as her hand moved to run through his hair. He sighed and leaned into her hand causing her to smile softly.

Eric's own thumb had moved to stroke her cheek, her lips and finally under her eyes that he could tell were sore and swollen from crying and he felt his gut and heart clench that he hadn't been there to wipe those tears or hold her.

Never again. He promised himself. No matter how mad they were at each other or how hurt, they wouldn't be sleeping apart from each other. He made that vow to himself not knowing that Kira was thinking along the same lines remembering Tris' words that day in her office.

She understood them now. Because no matter how hurt she was by Eric the situation she would rather be hurting together than to be estranged and making it so much worse for them both.

When they had taken the time to explore each other's faces and their own reflections Eric kissed her gently before he nodded towards his mother to let her know they needed to tell her.

Kira nodded and they walked towards Lorraine who had her own eyes full of tears. Eric and his mother exchanged smiles as they approached. To show Kira in deed and not just words that he meant he wanted them to be together and that he would be taking Nix in too, he held his arms out for Nix to his mother.

Lorraine beamed her approval and relief at him and cradled him in the position to transfer him to Eric's arms.

Kira could only look on in shock and love as Eric moved Nix to the crook of his arm and gently adjusted his blanket back.

Eric held her eyes and smiled. "We make our family official starting tonight. In all ways. I am going to call Max and have him come up here to marry us and I want him to bring Ava along so all of us can be together for it. Is that ok with you Kira?"

Kira's only response is to raise on her toes and presses her lips to his in a passionate kiss.

She breaks away with a smile then kisses Nix's forehead softly. "Yes Eric...that is more than alright with me."


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: I want to thank everyone for the excellent response to this story. It was for sure a journey and a break from what I normally write with the straight out tragedy but also the fact that it is sooo much like a chick flick. I enjoyed developing Kira and Eric. I loved exploring a completely soft side of Eric. Their journey is at an end for now. I feel that for this story and how they developed it is a good place to end. I most likely will pick them up on their journey later but for now I am happy where they are.**

 **As always thank you for the views, reviews, follows and favorites. Also just a quick shout out again sleep1177. You truly are my soul sister and thanks for encouraging me in all my stories but also keeping me on track to get Kira and Eric some resolution. I was scared to end their journey but your words helped me greatly...as always! Now on to the show!**

 **Chapter 16**

In the dining hall at the Dauntless Compound, phone's start going off at two tables and heads turn looking on in curiosity and worry because all the phones are that of Leaders or Senior Members.

Those that are getting messages can't hide their looks of slight apprehension as they picked up their phones to check the messages. Those looks of apprehension were replaced by wide grins, shouts of happiness and other various states of celebration.

Max and Daria stood quickly with big grins, their early dinner forgotten and started to make their way to the table where Ava was with Shauna, Zeke, Tris, Four, Uri, Mar and the rest of the group that weren't working.

Shauna, Zeke, Four and Tris were already standing as they collected Ava's items while the rest of the table were chattering. Chris was scowling and pouting but Daria looked at her and shook her head.

"This isn't the time Chris. When they get this done and get home we can talk to them about the party we know we are going to have to have. But right now this is about them healing and becoming a family and you will not cause shit. Am I understood?" Daria's face went hard and commanding.

Chris gulped and nodded. Then she smiled at the group. "Could you at least tell them we love them. I understand why only a few of us can be there but I would like them to know we are thinking about them too."

All the girls eyes were tearing up now. They had all suffered so much but no more than Eric and Kira. That they were going to allow themselves to heal finally or start to made them happy.

When they had all heard what Kira had screamed as she was giving Ben what they had all longed to do even before then, it had almost destroyed the girls. Candice especially because as hard a time as she was having in dealing with the loss of Lynn, she couldn't bear to think that Kira was killing herself from the inside out with her own misplaced guilt.

Daria nods and Max looks to Four and Zeke. "I want a transport ready in thirty minutes with two full patrol vehicles before and after Four. Zeke get with control and have them do a cam sweep of our path going back as far as they can and just check for activity around our route. Daria and I will get the paperwork ready and then meet you all in the vehicle bay. Shauna, Eric said that Ava's heavier winter clothes and gear is in the apartment. Also he asked for you to pick up something else I think he messaged you where that is.

Shauna nods emphatically almost dancing in excitement. This causes a few chuckles but then Max nods commandingly and it is understood he has given his orders and he wants to get this done.

He grabs Daria's hand and they head out to grab the paperwork while Shauna and Tris head to Kira and Eric's apartment to grab everything they will need for Ava and then what Eric asked for.

Shauna looks to Tris who is carrying Ava and talking to her as they walk. "Can you believe this Tris. We were all just hoping they would make up or at least start talking through things. Not that I am complaining at all I am just shocked it happened so fast."

Tris smirks over at Shauna and shakes her head. "Honestly, yeah I can believe it. He had told Four and Emmett a few months ago that he already had the ring. He was just waiting for Kira but that he was ready. This is such and Eric thing to do really but I don't blame him. I knew Kira and Shay before I went to Academy and before Eric went too. I remember what happened with them then and I can understand his need to make sure she can never walk away again. That is Kira though, when she gets hurt she walks away. She gives you a chance and will open her heart but if she gets hurt she closes it off and walks. The thing is that it really almost killed her last time Shauna. Shay, Lorraine and I all saw it and she was incomplete without him. I heard he was just as bad but I didn't know him then like I do now. I knew him how he was when was in Academy and here. But seeing them together…." Tris trails off as they get to the door and Shauna nods and sighs.

"You see it now they are together. He is still Eric just, better I guess. Complete like you said." Shauna shrugs as they get in the door with the card Kira had provided Shauna if she needed to get anything for Ava.

They quickly got Ava changed into warmer clothes and a bag packed for her then Shauna went to the closet and found the box with the ring Eric had asked for her to get for him. Just the sight of the box had her smiling again as they quickly made their way to meet the others that would be going.

Uri and Mar were there with the coats for Shauna and Tris. They would be going too while the others were just seeing them off. Without much more fuss they all loaded up and headed to the hospital.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Lorraine had taken it upon herself to let the nurses know what would be going on and that they weren't to give the visitors a hard time. When she had walked out of the room Eric was sitting in the recliner chair with Kira in his lap as she held a now awake Nix.

The little boy was doing much better than she had gotten the report that he had been doing when he was brought in. The mother felt relief at how things had turned around. She had hoped Eric would come to his senses and reach out first. She knew Kira wanted to but that she wouldn't because she was just compiling the guilt she felt over everything.

She knew it wouldn't be long before Kira would convince herself that it was what she deserved for ruining his life and that she didn't deserve to be happy. They both had so much pride and were stubborn but she was also proud to say that Eric was just like his father when it came to the person he gave his heart to.

She and Astoria had known before the uprising that those two were headed towards a possible romance. They might not have seen it because they were too young. All the signs were there even then. Eric was always closed off with most everyone. He always held a little of himself back even from the family. Chase, Shay and Kira had always been able to get through those walls he put up.

Kira, though, from the moment she could walk and talk had Eric wrapped around his finger. They fought with each other fiercely but even more fiercely they fought for each other. If Chase had been mean or hurt Kira in anyway Eric was there like a storm ready to take on his best friend and brother until he made it right for Kira.

When Kira had heard about some Candor boys that were ganging up on Eric it was truly discovered how fierce she could be in words and deed. She knew she wasn't a match for them physically and that it wouldn't do any good. So she had made a plan to catch the boys at their worst and reveal to the teachers at school just how much they had allowed them to get away with. All because they were from the faction of honesty. She proved that just because their faction was supposed to believe in honesty of word and deed did not mean that all who were born into the faction would or could be the same.

Lorraine had known where they might head when they were younger but she had also known that with the two of them it would not be an easy journey. Then they had lost so much in the uprising and she had thought with how angry they had been at each other right after that they would never be able to recover. After the anger had passed though, it was as if there were no one else in the world but them two.

Even then their love was something amazing to watch. Kira had asked how she had dealt with the grief and she had answered truthfully. But a big part of her being able to handle the grief was seeing those two come alive again and together. To see them grow in themselves as each encouraged the other but also growing in their relationship together. Now she was watching another rebirth of a sort for the two of them and one that had been hinted at all those years ago.

Lorraine stood in the doorway of the room and watched as they looked at each other and interacted with Nix and she saw all of that in them and more. It wouldn't surprise her though, if soon she there another grandchild added to her other two.

With a smile she moved into the room to sit beside them on the bed. She pulled Nix to her lap and played with him, giving Eric and Kira time to enjoy each other's physical presence again. It wouldn't be long before the Dauntless group joined them and then they would be married. Lorraine felt herself heal more at the thought and knew that somewhere Shay was smirking and yelling that it was about fucking time.

Eric stood holding Kira's hand as they faced each other. Ava was sitting on the bed beside Lorraine with Nix half in her arms and the other being supported in his mother's. Kira and Eric were standing just in front of the two children as Eric requested them to be near.

Max was on the other side of the couple while the other friends were circled around the bed looking on. Shauna, Mar and Tris had silent tears in their eyes. Zeke and Uri were solemn but not in bad way, more of respectful awe.

Four was even as close to showing how much the sight before him.

Eric and Kira were shining with love as they held each other's eyes. All the pain from the last three days, the lack of sleep and tears cried; they all seemed to disappear the moment that Max stood before them and began the short ceremony.

"Kira, I take you to be my wife from this second onward. To join with you and share in all that is to come. The good and the bad, the happiness and the tears. I promise to always but us first before myself. I can't promise that we won't fight or that we won't become angry with each other but I can promise that no matter how hurt or I angry I am I will never want to spend a night apart."

Eric sees Kira nod with tears in her eyes and reaches up to cup her cheek then continues.

"When I say I love you more, I don't mean I love you more than you love me. I mean I love you through the bad days ahead of us. I love you more than any fight we will ever have. I love you more than the distance between us. I love you more than any obstacle that could try to come between us."

"I promise to work at our love, and always make you a priority in my life. With every beat of my heart, I will love you. The is my solemn vow."

Max clears his throat of emotion and nods as Eric placed the ring on Kira's finger as he said the last vow then reached up to cup her cheek again.

Max turns to Kira and smiles. "Kira when you are ready you may say the same vows."

Kira nods and closes her eyes, leaning into Eric's hand before she reaches up to take it back in hers.

"Eric, I take you to be my husband from this second onward. To join with you and share in all that is to come. The good and the bad, the happiness and the tears. I promise to always but us first before myself. I can't promise that we won't fight or that we won't become angry with each other but I can promise that no matter how hurt or I angry I am I will never want to spend a night apart."

She reaches up and copies the same gesture that Eric made for her when she sees his own eyes shining with tears as well. His smile transforming his face.

"When I say I love you more, I don't mean I love you more than you love me. I mean I love you through the bad days ahead of us. I love you more than any fight we will ever have. I love you more than the distance between us. I love you more than any obstacle that could try to come between us."

"I promise Eric to let you see my all and not be afraid anymore of letting you be there for me. When I am in my dark you are my strength. When I am in my light you are there shining with me. I don't have to hide from you and I won't. I also promise to be there for you during your times like you have always been there for me. We complete each other Eric and always have. You are still your own person and I will promise to support your own needs and wants, goals and purposes. I promise to always help to make ourselves, our families, our faction and our city strong and safe for us all. With every beat of my heart, I will love you. The is my solemn vow."

There are tears now being shed all around. No more than the two older women, Lorraine and Daria as they look on the young couple and somehow know that they will be alright. It won't be easy but they will get through life together.

Max smiles at the two but Eric shares a look with him and nods.

"Before I pronounce you two man and wife, there is a little bit of business that needs to be finished." His voice is gruff but from pride and holding back the emotions he is feeling.

He is more proud than he can say of what the boy he thinks of as a son is about to do next.

Kira looks to Max worriedly but he just smiles at her and continues. "As we all know there were circumstances that led to these two children being left without their parents but never without family or love. Eric and Kira were charged with the care of these two and they are willing to do this with all of their being."

Max looks to Eric. "Eric would like to take things a step further and truly make them all a family tonight…." he doesn't even get out the whole sentence before there are gasps and sobs of happiness from all around "...and we will get the paperwork for that signed after. For right now Eric would like to say a few words."

Eric never broke his eyes from Kira's during this and he saw the overwhelming love beaming from them. "Eric you don't have to…"

Eric shook his head and smiled. "No I don't but I want to. Like I said we do this right Kira. No one gets to walk away from this family. Not me and not you. We make this family….all of it...official tonight."

Kira can only nod and swallow around the lump in her throat. Eric motions for his mother to hand Nix to him. This is also done on purpose because he is taking him as his son now. To show Nix and the other's that he is leaving all of the past where it belongs. Ava is taken in Kira's arms and they still stay facing each other.

On a last minute decision, Max reaches out and adjusts the two adult hands to be cupped and holding the two children's hands in theirs.

Eric smiled at this and nodded.

"Ava and Nix; We did not give you the gift of life. We will never replace the love of those that did but we don't want to and won't try to replace them. What I want to do is to provide the life for you that they would have. To continue on in their memory as the family we were then and we remain now. You join us now as our children. Tonight we become a family of our own and I promise to always do my best for us all. We stand before our friends and family as a complete family. The Coulter's."

Max beamed at the four of them. "I now pronounce you man and wife. I pronounce you all as a family."

Eric and Kira leaned into each other and shared a kiss, amid the giggling and squeals of Ava demanding her turn and the cooing and gurgling of Nix who might have been asking for the same thing.

Breaking apart with tears falling freely now from them both; Eric and Kira obliged their children and pressed kisses to Nix's forehead and then Ava's cheeks.

Life as they knew it was about to change but both knew they wouldn't trade it for the world. They had each other again and the family they always wanted.


End file.
